u/Riskit_4_Biscuits

I have come to rant. And I apologise in advance. I am going to generalise, and for that, I shall not apologise.

I work for a fairly large housing association in the South of England. I visit blocks of flats on a daily basis.

I can not get over how people are so unable to manage their waste, to keep things tidy, when they literally have a bin store and regular collections. People don't bother recycling then complain the bins are full.

They leave their sofas, carpets, mattresses, toys in bin stores, where we collect and recharge all their neighbours. It feels so unfair.

And the majority of offenders? Under 40s. What has changed in our culture that everyone is so careless, so dirty, so disrespectful and just so god damn entitled.

Granted, it keeps me in a job. But fucking hell. Come on Britain. Do better. For you. For your neighbours.

And the ones who look after their homes, spend money on their homes, manage their waste? Thats right, the older generations.

So to you, thank you. I am sorry the government keep penalising you and yet so many unemployed, entilted young people mean that your service charges go up whilst Universal Credit pays theirs.

Are we doomed?

Hey,

Me and my partner can no longer go sadly so have two tickets at face value.

If you're in SW UK I'd rather do face to face to swap tickets over on Skiddle as they're not eligible for resell (unless that's cause I have one installment outstanding on 1st July). I don't mind travelling/meeting half way. I'm in between Bristol and Devon often.

If outside the SW, can be done via bank transfer etc but just feels a little more risky. Can provide ID, address etc over WhatsApp video for somewhat of a bit of protection?

Thanks!

So some context quickly;

I 33F, met my wife 45F 9 years ago when I was 24 and she was 36. We've been together nearly ten years, and her kids are now 15 and 23.

She's very much a "wants to do it all" Mum, and I respect that. She works from home, I work out of the house all day. Chores are split pretty evenly, I walk both dogs (separately as they're assholes), and do all the manual stuff like cut the grass, garden, driving, ferrying around the 15 year old as my wife doesn't drive, taking her shopping etc.

Anyway this isn't so much about me and my wife as we have a happy, equal split of everything including money, chores etc.

Her adult daughter is a good kid, she's still quite immature. She does work full time which we are proud of, and has done lots of travelling in the last few years including holidays booked next week, end of the year etc. baring in mind me and my wife don't really have holidays because we can't afford them.

We charge her £180 a month, all in. We ask for nothing. She doesn't offer, either. However she does treat my wife well at Xmas and birthdays.

So yesterday, for the first time, after I've kept on and on about my wife assigning her some chores to contribute to the house (and she hasn't as she "doesn't like asking", did I finally suggest that she can wash up after being in bed all day. Okay, cool, it's Sunday. I've walked two dogs, popped in to see the old lady I care for, cleaned the bathroom, kitchen and stairs and swept through. Wife's cooked a full roast and washed most the dishes along the way.

She refused, to start with. Then I replied "come on, you get cooked for every night of your life." My wife had just slaved over a roast dinner.

"Well it's Mums mess". Are you taking the piss? Is what I wanted to say.

She leaves her glasses on the side, lunch boxes on the side, literally never lifts a finger.

If I ask her to watch the dogs for an evening or night "I might have plans".

I get it, I was young not very long ago. I was the same age when I took the family on.

Am I unreasonable? She actually cried, because I asked her to help us for a change.

I was super kind about it. Walked to the shop and asked if she would like some chocolate.

How do I support my adult step daughter to start...adulting? Or am I in the wrong her and should I respect my wife's choices? I don't want to be that partner that says "I'm not doing it because you won't ask your daughter". I never want her to feel over burdened.

Just to add some extra context, I lost my mum two years ago and I am currently going through a cancer scare myself waiting my scan next week. Have been sleeping a lot, generally super tired and aching and still trying to keep up with everything.

Sometimes I feel like just going and buying my own place and taking one of the dogs with me. But I love my wife too much!

Hi everyone!

I'm at the beginning of the journey, and I am dealing with things fairly well, but all of you will know the feelings that I'm going through right now. #I'm sorry if this is long, and if anything I think it will feel better just typing it out. If someone does have the time to read and tell me I'm not going mad I really would appreciate it 😂

For some context, I'm F33 and always been fairly fit and healthy, albeit, always slightly overweight no matter how hard I try to diet and lose weight. Up until the last few months, I was working full time, walking 2 dogs a day and going to the gym at least 3 times a week, lifting and cardio.

Long family history of breast cancer: Mum, Nan, Great Aunty, Aunty all on the same side.

I noticed some changes in my left breast around 4 months ago. However I only ever remembered to check around my period when I became aware of my breasts. So chalked it up to hormones and cracked on.

I had a heavy lifting session about 2 weeks ago after some time off, and did a check in the shower after. Something didn't feel right and the lumps felt different. My left breast feels very different to my right, there is a small immovable pea sized lump plus a large lump of around 2.5cm. I will list my symptoms in a moment. I booked a doctor's appointment and was seen for an exam the next day. This is the same doctor I have been seeing for my depression and anxiety which I've been plagued with for about 20 years on and off.

She did a breast examination and agreed an urgent referral was needed. I was expecting 2 weeks, but the nearest appointment was 3 weeks. Damn it's a long old wait, isn't it? Feels that way anyway.

So anyway, onto my symptoms. The reason I say "psychosomatic" is because I've only become really aware of these symptoms since the examination and it feels like since then I've been feeling worse. Some have been there before, I will bullet point.

Prior to exam:

- tiredness, comes in ebbs and flows though, some weeks in the last year I've had energy for gym, often taking weeks off at a time due to only managing to get through work and knowing I have to walk dogs.

I have however always been a napper!

- my low mood and anxiety was instantly cleared up by a low dose of Escitelopram which makes me think it's hormonal (the doctor thinks so too)

- the lumps and this feeling of a swelling in my armpit even though there's no obvious swelling. Also pain and tenderness on the same side.

- tingling and weakness in my hands. Possibly from driving for work and doing all my work on a smartphone all day. Keep losing grip and dropping things.

- recently stepped off a curb and felt something jig in my spine, pain in specific area ever since (terrified I do have a later stage cancer and it's metastatic to my bones).

- pain in my skin after drinking alcohol (have pretty much stopped drinking the last year bar a few outings where I have a small amount) also no idea if connected but seen elsewhere on a thread by someone else

- Heavy legs which did get better when I lost weight! Did weigh myself recently and have put loads on in the last month. That would do it! I'm up and down stairs all day at work (7000 steps a day before 4pm)

I do also potentially have ADHD/autism (awaiting diagnosis) which makes me think I'm just obsessed and hyper aware!

Since the referral and why I think it's psychosomatic! :

- Pain and sensations in both breasts, even though I'm at least 14 days from my period (usually only experience pain and tenderness near my period). Aching, tenderness etc when cuddling, moving, playing with dog, rolling over in bed. Hyper awareness?

- Even more tired and having to take breaks (but I feel like this is due to my mental health and the worry).

- just elevated pains shooting in my back, neck, ribs etc and constant muscle pains in legs.

I know I'm going to have answers soon but this really is driving me nuts. I'm such a tough, strong minded person but I feel so tested by all of this.

I'm not scared of dying at all, or the process of dying. I cared for my mum until she passed a couple of years ago, she was amazing and so strong and stoic. I am scared of putting my family through it though. But really trying to not to think that far, it's hard not to isn't it?

\Anyway, the TL;DR of this post is: I have no idea what I wanted to get from this post, other than, are psychosomatic symptoms normal after a referral, and has anyway else experienced this and had a negative test result?

Love to all you brave people, whether the outcome was cancer or not. It's a hell of a ride!!!

Edit: even writing this out has made me feel so much better. Typed "psychosomatic" into the search and I'm not the only one! And those others also had benign lumps. God the human mind is an absolute bitch isn't it. Finally had a morning rotting in bed. 4 days off work now so I'm gonna recharge! Just bought 16 bottles of huel, gonna shred some weight over the next few weeks and get my sorry ass back in the gym. Come on 💪