Driving from and to home every day and I came across this home on sale recently. It's a small and simple bungalow surrounded by grander houses. It's gated too, with a good amount of land inside. It sits in a relatively good spot, not too far from home, not too far from the supermarkets and not too far from main town. Honestly it's an even better spot than where my home is at.

Since I first laid my eyes on it, my heart yearns for it. It is the first time ever I ever considered getting a home of my own. It is the first time I ever feel like I would be happy walking into an empty house.

It is my greatest misfortune that I can never, ever live in that house. I do not, and will not, have the financial aid to get even 1% of the total amount of that house, be it in this life or the next. I will never, ever have enough cash to even think of buying it.

It is, in its very definition, impossible for me to make that house mine.

Until that "for sale" sign is taken down, my heart will continue to yearn for it, despite knowing that it is only hurting itself for holding onto a false unachievable hope.

"Words that imitate, resemble, or suggest the source of the sound that they describe"

This idea came to me when I remembered that my favorite Metal band pioneered a subgenre that is basically an onomatopoeia. There are two ways to play this game.

Option 1: Guess the onomatopoeia*

The host pronounces the onomatopoeia, depending if he wants it to be difficult or forgiving he can spell it out. Competitors have to guess what the onomatopoeia is describing. Example: Kaboom is the sound an explosion makes.

Option 2: Create the onomatopoeia

Competitors have to create a brand new onomatopoeia that describes the action suggested by the host. Example: what is the sound of a 4 unevenly cut legged chair getting dragged across a very rocky ground? The host can make it difficult by being extremely specific with the action or making it simple.

Thoughts?

Please and thank you.

Rain was a blessing to me. It meant a cool day, slight serenity and a calmer atmosphere. Any tasks were done at a slower pace for cautionary reasons. It's even better when it rains when you're at home, meaning you can snuggle in bed more deeply, and I love snuggling in bed.

But since I got my latest job, rain means literal hell. For context, I work a 12hr night shift, going from 6pm to 6am every day with no off day ever, alone. I work both as a security and operator and I operate a water pump station, tasking to keep the water level inside the town low and scoop up any trash in the canals.

When it rains, it means the water level goes up really fast and fast flowinf water means fast flowing trash. When it rains hard, it's even worse. If I don't scoop up the trash fast enough the whole canal can get clogged and water level stays high no matter how much I pump the water out. That means I have to scoop up trash while under heavy pouring rain.

Combined with the fact that I am doing all this at the dead of night, after midnight, in a dead empty town. So it's both grueling and lonely. And I have to do this every day.

And it's not even rainy season yet... If I am suffering now, I will be experiencing cold hell soon.

Rain used to mean serenity to me. Now it means misery.

Back in January, I almost ended my life from a horrible breakup (my fault). I had deleted almost every account to my name, save for a few to not let my family feel suspicious of what I was planning to do. I chickened out in the end, and I lost purty much 99% of what I had. For 6 months, everything was just wrong. Nothing gave me joy. I almost did it again.

One week ago, I actually genuinely started to feel better. I started to feel less shxt and less suicidal. I had started to enjoy the things I used to enjoy. Instead of a spiral downhill, it's starting to go up. It's a very slight incline but it's going up at least.

One of the things I enjoy is driving my car. I ***loved*** driving, my car especially. It was therapeutic, calming and peaceful. It was one of my greatest loves in life. After January, driving in general was dangerous for me and everyone around. I would disassociate and come very close to succumbing to my thoughts. I needed an extreme distraction to keep me away from my thoughts, so I played a video very loudly in the car.

But now... I started to enjoy driving again. Driving to work feels good again, peaceful and serene and calming. Carefully rowing through the manual transmission (it's an ancient car, shifting too fast and it'll complain) and just... *drive*.

One of my hobbies is playing music, specifically playing my bass guitar. I used to have a YouTube channel that I started back in 2016 and had uploaded hundreds of bass covers on it. In January on that day I deleted the channel, so my 10 year hard work and effort purty much gone. To this day, it is the ***only*** thing I regret doing. Since then I couldn't even listen to music because every lyric reminded me of her and remembering her caused me pain.

One week ago, I started to pick up my bass again. It felt natural, and muscle memory never went away. But I did tear through my fingertips because I lost the callouses, and my arms cramped up real bad because while muscle memory is there, muscle endurance purty much gone lmao. But... Music brings me joy again, instead of pain. I'm enjoying playing music again. And with that fact, I might start uploading covers again. It still sucks that hundreds of my videos are gone forever, and I don't think I can recreate them all again, but I do want to upload again. I did make a poll for which song I should do first. Each of those suggested songs are quite meaningful to me differently.

Another hobby of mine is writing but I don't think I can go back to writing anytime soon because that was how my ex and I met so writing currently is tied to memories of her. I do want to get back to writing again tho but it still hurts.

But yeah... After a pair of very close attempts, I'm actually getting better. At least mental-wise lmao.

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I know it's a remix of Maniacs Of Noise - Happy H. Christmas, and I know it's a meme remix using sound bites of the franchise Umamusume: Pretty Derby. I specifically want *this* remix. I tried to look it up everywhere, even using the term "Mambocore" that seems to be tied to any remixes that use Umamusume sound bites.

Please and thank you.

On my way replaying the levels to collect all the secrets I forgot and also endgame bonuses. I thought it was just regular level but up the intensity a bit but no. Already in the arena of the first level it was a fukim swarm.

I was fukim sweating and concentration up 110%, heart rate up at low health and then hunting down the mofukim Archville while fighting off the summons and super heavy demons. I need to turn off the game after that because my brain is frying.

And I'm playing on custom bitxh difficulty! Only 100% damage to player. Tho I also did set damage to demon to 50% and max out their aggression to keep things interesting. I'm still struggling juggling the spear and shield, currently using only spear.

But holy shxt it's fun. It's a perfect blend of the high speed chaos of Eternal and the hard hitting boom of TDA. It's literally the best game of the franchise.

One annoying thing is switching right hand stops you from using left hand. That small window really put a halt in the flow of the game.

I just watched a YouTube video regarding horse flies and how dangerous they are to horses. One of the ways to prevent flies from harming the horses was strapping a fake dragonfly on a stick on the horse's head and it was enough to ward off flies and mosquitoes.

So this gives me ideas, why don't we just domesticate dragonflies?

They're one of the most successful predators in the animal kingdom. They are incredible hunters, able to predict the flight path of their prey with unbelievable precision. Their mere presence is enough to put fear.

Imagine we have dragonflies as pets. We'd be walking down the road with a dragonfly on a string and it buzzes around you and consumes any insect within range. They get food and you won't be bothered! This is genius!

This is definitely not because my workplace is riddled with mosquitoes and my arms are riddled with mosquito bites. And also most definitely not because I have an infinite unbridled hatred for flies and mosquitoes.