u/SPITBLUDS

It’s been a month since my fiancé kicked out his mum from our house. Since then she moved all her stuff into a storage unit and remained in her room with all her kitchen appliances etc. she‘s also put up a sign saying "do not disturb I’m already disturbed" and is just really passive aggressive when we set up our own furniture.

She claimed to get an update on her unsold house that she needs the money from (we are in a one year delay and 4 deadlines she’s missed) but we‘ve heard absolutely nothing from her.

She still invites people over with no regard for our schedule and how our dog affects our time being able to rest because he gets extremely hyper and aware when we‘ve got guests. I‘m also just upset because she’s smoking inside her room not regarding how dirty and smelly it is. My partner told me he‘d find time to talk to her once he‘s off work.

But I’m so angry and fed up with this nonsense. She also claimed that selling the inherited house so she can buy her own one is solely for our benefit when she passes away. But I think that’s a bunch of bs because nothing would stop her from just keep claiming benefits and living in a 2 bedroom council house continuously. At this point I genuinely feel like she’s just making us suffer. She’s been so used to hiding away comfortably that she doesn’t know how society works anymore. No idea how hard the housing market is and how pricing works let alone cleanliness. I’m upset with myself for building up my future and wasting my resources trusting this woman.

What I also forgot to mention is that she is letting her sister live in her inherited mum‘s house for free whilst making us her own son pay for everything whilst living here with us because she can’t afford to pay the bills from her inherited houses anymore with her benefit money. It’s ridiculous we are burnt out working our butts off just for those people to sit around and damage the property by not taking care of things and not cleaning anything messing up the sales and our mental health. I feel like I’m going insane.

I‘ve already posted about my MIL once. And as I wrote in my update, we sadly had to break it to her that we were fed up with things not moving. She was understanding at first and was slowly packing her things. And by slowly I mean she barely packed anything. It took her 1 whole month to clear out not even half of her book shelf despite us making it very clear that we needed her out. When I agreed to try again my partner and I thought she dealt with the sale of the house and everything but turns out the interested buyer found the other house next to her‘s more appealing therefore she had to change things. And we tried to suck it up but one day after my birthday things escalated and he called her and told her she needed to be out or her stuff or else it’s over. And she didn’t take it well at all. In the last 3 days she’s basically emptied all of her stuff. And she’s doing it very passive aggressively and is very hostile towards us. Making us look like the bad guys in this situation when all we wanted was for her to pick up after herself and lock in a little.

I can understand her frustration but we have given her 4 chances and deadlines in which she failed to deliver what she promised. We are 1 year in delayed our original plan and it nearly cost her own son his future as I was so close to leaving him.

Now I just don’t know how to act around her and I feel immensely uncomfortable and honestly want to just leave. Please offer me some advice I’d appreciate it

My fiancé, my mother in law and I live together right now and 5 months ago her ex husband, her mentally disabled brother and their two dogs and our dog lived here as well in a two bedroom house. We pay for almost all the bills around the house and buy most of the communal stuff.

We planned in 2024 for both to move out during December in 2025 because she needs to sell her inherited parent’s home for her new own house so she can keep claiming benefit money. She failed to do so so we moved the deadline to may 2026.

During that time she hasn’t done anything progressive like preparing the house let alone clean it.

We got our puppy in early December because she said she‘d be gone by the end of December and the socialising would be good for him. So we thought we can finally start our own family but it ended up terribly for us because she didn’t keep to her words. And it was absolutely terrible and I’ve really fallen into a deep hole.

And in in 2025 October-December my partner and I really couldn’t handle the constant stress, lack of space and crossing of boundaries anymore. We fought everyday and got depressed and almost separated from the stress. So my mother in law noticed and finally decided that her brother and her ex husband would move out into her inherited parent‘s house in February 2026. They were supposed to clean and fix the property so she can sell it. But I noticed in the last few months that there’s no checking or anything. Everything is treated so lightly as if our lives aren’t put on hold. The reason I was so distrusting was because the 3 spent their days getting high and drunk all the time despite not having to work or have nothing holding them back from planning things out properly.

And of course my worries ended up being reasonable because 2 months into my uncle in law and my mother in law‘s ex moving they didn’t do anything and actually made the house look worse by living in it. So she went to do it herself with them and her sisters came to join as well and her friend. But they all got wasted for a week and didn’t do anything again for 2 weeks. Then she had the audacity to blame anyone but herself and didn’t apologise for missing the deadline we agreed on as it’s now mid June and she just put it up for sale now.

She was gone for 1 month and 2 weeks to get it clean and sell it. While she was gone I felt so much relief. We stopped fighting and the house was clean and we had space. To be honest living with her is a nightmare. She hoards, doesn’t pick up after herself and constantly invites people blasts music and gets drunk making them unable to go home as they can’t drive making it our problem as they need to sleep in our my partner and mine‘s room. Since I moved here I’ve been cleaning their mold, spider, urine and poop and foodwaste infested house and it’s just so hard to watch people not even try to maintain it. I don’t blame my partner for this tho as he’s been neglected as a child and therefore is learning to take after himself. And the things he cleans is usually clean like our rooms and our kitchen area.

But here comes the resentment. I’ve told my partner multiple times that we cannot trust her and we need to be clear or have a way out like be prepared to move out and everything. And he just can’t seem to find any time to talk to her let alone stand up for us. I‘m starting to think he’s weak minded and not ready to start our own family. I‘ve given up everything to move here. My relationships, my home country my whole former life.

We were supposed to get married now and I was supposed to be able to visit or be visited by my parents again (I moved from abroad) but I can’t even bare to face them as I don’t want to disappoint them.

I‘m not sure what to do I want to hold on as I’ve already lost so much already and I have hope that we can live like we have the time she was gone. But I don’t trust either of them and have constant anger and resentment towards everyone involved.

My fiancé, my mother in law and I live together right now and 5 months ago her, her mentally disabled brother and their two dogs and our dog lived here as well in a two bedroom house. We pay for almost all the bills around the house and buy most of the communal stuff.

We planned in 2024 for both to move out during December in 2025 because she needs to sell her inherited parent’s home for her new own house so she can keep claiming benefit money. She failed to do so so we moved the deadline to may 2026.

During that time she hasn’t done anything progressive like preparing the the house let alone clean it.

We got our puppy in early December because she said she‘d be gone by the end of December. So we thought we can finally start our own family but it ended up terribly for us because she didn’t keep to her words. And it was absolutely terrible and I’ve really fallen into a deep hole.

And in in 2025 October-December my partner and I really couldn’t handle the constant stress, lack of space and crossing of boundaries anymore. We fought everyday and got depressed and almost separated from the stress. So my mother in law noticed and finally decided that her brother and her ex husband would move out into her inherited parent‘s house in February 2026. They were supposed to clean and fix the property so she can sell it. But I noticed in the last few months that there’s no checking or anything. Everything is treated so lightly as if our lives aren’t put on hold. The reason I was so distrusting was because the 3 spent their days getting high and drunk all the time despite not having to work or have nothing holding them back from planning things out properly.

And of course my worries ended up being reasonable because 2 months into my uncle in law and my mother in law‘s ex moving they didn’t do anything and actually made the house look worse by living in it. So she went to do it herself with them and her sisters came to join as well and her friend. But they all got wasted for a week and didn’t do anything again for 2 weeks. Then she had the audacity to blame anyone but herself and didn’t apologise for missing the deadline we agreed on as it’s now mid June and she just put it up for sale now.

She was gone for 1 month and 2 weeks to get it clean and sell it. While she was gone I felt so much relief. We stopped fighting and the house was clean and we had space. To be honest living with her is a nightmare. She hoards, doesn’t pick up after herself and constantly invites people blasts music and gets drunk making them unable to go home as they can’t drive making it our problem as they need to sleep in our my partner and mine‘s room. Since I moved here I’ve been cleaning their mold, spider, urine and poop and foodwaste infested house and it’s just so hard to watch people not even try to maintain it. I don’t blame my partner for this tho as he’s been neglected as a child and therefore is learning to take after himself. And the things he cleans is usually clean like our rooms and our kitchen area.

But here comes the resentment. I’ve told my partner multiple times that we cannot trust her and we need to be clear or have a way out like be prepared to move out and everything. And he just can’t seem to find any time to talk to her let alone stand up for us. I‘m starting to think he’s weak minded and not ready to start our own family. I‘ve given up everything to move here. My relationships, my home country my whole former life.

We were supposed to get married now and I was supposed to be able to visit or be visited by my parents again (I moved from abroad) but I can’t even bare to face them as I don’t want to disappoint them.

I‘m not sure what to do I want to hold on as I’ve already lost so much already and I have hope that we can live like we have the time she was gone. But I don’t trust either of them and have constant anger and resentment towards everyone involved.