u/SakuraYanfuyu

My last gyn was a man. He was friendly, but very fertility-pushing. He scolded me for not having my boyfriend pay for my consultations. He didn't respect me when I said I was in pain after having an iud put in, just said it's "because I'm small."

I saw another one today, a woman, and I was freaking out, sobbing because I was scared. I accidentally swore and she just went "this is a professional practice you wouldnt like if I swore at you" and I got so embarassed I freaked out more. And when I was terrified about an internal exam, she guilted me into doing it, literally demanding I "make up my mind right now." THEN she started scolding me for my boyfriend not being with me, and said that he only wants me "for fun." I said I don't want him seeing that kind of stuff (not that he actually cares, I just know I'll be the one freaking out if he got the ick or some random bs my brain makes up) and she was still mad at me. My boyfriend is the best thing that has ever happened to me, so that made me more upset. I was basically hysterical at that point. When I was screaming from the pain of the exam, she just said "can you just breathe." When I was telling her about sharp pains in my chest, she just said "that's not my field" because my breasts were fine. She genuinely messed me up so badly, from her AWFUL bedside manner to literally scrambling my insides and getting mad that I was hurting?? I thought I was going to die from an infection but at this point i would've taken the chance instead of having this happen, if i had known how she'd be. The consultation was expensive as shit too.

I'm supposed to have some kind of surgery where they put a camera in my uterus later, but I wouldn't trust this woman to hold a fucking french fry. I genuinely never ever want to do any of that again even if I'll flop over and die in the future. I've been in bed all day and I genuinely have no will to do anything beside cry about what happened today. I feel so violated.

Edit: I really appreciate people reccomending PP, but they unfortunately are not a thing in my country.

My last gyn was a man. He was friendly, but very fertility-pushing. He scolded me for not having my boyfriend pay for my consultations. He didn't respect me when I said I was in pain after having an iud put in, just said it's "because I'm small." I saw another one today, a woman, and I was freaking out, sobbing because I was scared. I accidentally swore and she just went "this is a professional practice you wouldnt like if I swore at you" Like?? Bitch not the time?? And when I was freaking out about an internal exam, she guilted me into doing it. THEN she started scolding me for my boyfriend not being with me?? Then she also implied that he only wants me for sex. I said I don't want him seeing that kind of stuff (not that he actually cares, I just know I'll be the one freaking out if he got the ick or some random bs my brain makes up) and she was still mad at me. When I was screaming from the pain of the exam, she just said "can you breathe please." When I was telling her about sharp pains in my chest, she just said "that's not my field" because my breasts were fine. 2800 rand for that too?? I thought I was going to die from an infection but at this point i would've taken the chance instead of having this happen, if i had known how she'd be.

Do they all just have the bedside manner of a dead animal or something? I genuinely feel violated.

I've been suffering from severe endometritis for a few months now, and in the past week it has gotten so bad I can't sleep. I got diagnosed with it a bit ago but couldn't get care because my dad wouldn't pay for it. I am a first year uni student. I approached my dad and begged him to please let me see a GYN, but he refused because my midterm results aren't out yet (there was a massive error on my results and they're taking ages to fix it). When I've asked him before, he refused because he thought I was trying to get an abortion (??? Literally never did anything to give him this idea) so my boyfriend had to pay for it. My boyfriend and his mother luckily were very insistent to let them cover it this time again, even though I was hesistant because I can't pay them back. My mom is a junkie and out of the picture, btw.

My dad gives my sister thousands for clothes each month, and even covered her bird's vet bills, but refuses to cover my medical bills each time. The infection has spread further, and my boyfriend is freaking out that it could become sepsis. And he knows that. I've been scolded by others for being a "gold digger" by letting my boyfriend pay for me, so I feel really guilty about this. But moreso, I feel more humilated that my dad would do something like that. I don't know, is that not insane?

I'm not a huge content creator, but I'm pretty popular in the local cosplay scene. At my last con, I literally just asked a guy where he got his jacket and he took a photo with me yada yada all that. He then offered to go out for drinks after, I declined because i was busy. He then found me around the con another 3 times to ask me the same thing, in which for the whole week i was busy so i told him I can't. I have a boyfriend, but very often "fans" of the hobby will get REALLY angry with you when they find this out, so I don't share it with anyone who isn't a friend, and my boyfriend doesn't care. I'll always just say oh haha thank you and move on, never entertain anything that isn't just friendly.

Anyways, that isn't the point. My username was announced a good few times at the event because i compete, and this guy started dming me. It's not a weird occurance, I always have strangers follow and message me after cons despite me never talking to them. I responded ONCE because he got a good photo of one of my cosplays and that's it. Over time, he responded to a million of my stories calling me pretty and whatnot, and I didn't really notice until now because I have my dms on mute most of the time. All I really saw before today was him posting a LOT of stuff that I publicly like on my profile (he had literally no trace of those things before we met) even the character i was cosplaying that day I saw him. They're decently popular franchises so I just brushed it off as me being paranoid.

Eventually, somehow he found my twitter that i keep SERIOUSLY secret. Again, it's not weird to follow someone on twt so i just brushed it off as probably just wanted to see if i posted more cosplay stuff on that page (i don't). My twitter is literally just for reposting gay porn so I blocked him on there.

I opened up instagram today to find that he HAS A GIRLFRIEND OF TWO YEARS!!

And it's one of those pages where the girl has her bf plastered all over it while he doesnt have anything of her :(( she looks so sweet too. I mean, if my bf was trying to talk to girls behind my back, I'd want to know.

I asked my bf, and he said i don't know these people so it's best not to get involved. I asked my dad, and he just said i should block the guy and let the girl eventually find out for herself. My other girl friends (with no romantic xp) are all telling me to just tell the girl. I really don't know what's the right course of action? I mean, I hate getting caught up in drama, and I've already had my fair share this year. But this girl looks so sweet and I'd hate to be in her place.