u/SaltPersimmon5450

I don’t know if I really want help because why should I need to manage my mental problems if they aren’t harming anyone? But recently I’ve been wanting to know what’s up with me because it will be easier to explain to my friends than to be selfish and vent to them about my issues. I have asked my mom, but she keeps ignoring me, so I will ask her again after I finish this post, but I think I should take things into my own hands instead of waiting until I am 18. I was hospitalized last October and given medication for MDD, but no one ever talked to me to figure out what was wrong. They just labeled me with MDD with no psychotic features, and that’s it, but they never told me that they did that, so I don’t believe them because if they did, they would’ve had a psych talk to me for a session. Also I'm pretty sure the only reason why they rlwrote MDD on my discharge papers is because I was only sent there because of a suicide letter I gave yo my teacher. Does this make sense? Lately my words don't connect to my brain.

I have been recently struggling with the fact that when I was 5, I committed an inappropriate act with my younger sister; it wasn’t yk naked stuff or really freaky stuff, but it was definitely inappropriate, and no sibling should touch each other like that. I know our dad knows but probably doesn’t remember because when he caught us he whooped us. This memory was never really present in my life until last September, and now I can’t stop feeling guilty about how she is going to grow up, or whether she even remembers, because I haven’t seen her in years or even really had a good relationship with her. I told my friend before, and he keeps telling me that I wasn’t conscious, didn’t know what I was doing, and was only repeating what my cousin did to me, but that still doesn’t change the fact that I did it. I mean, I am so disgusting and a hypocrite. I advocate for human rights and especially death to all predators. Still, I am one myself and what’s worse is for the last couple of years ever since I’ve come to terms that the only sexual experiences that I have had have been with my cousin, a grown man, and a grown woman when I was younge. I’ve been so selfish thinking about myself and about how it affected me that I completely forgot what I did to my sister. My friend keeps telling me that I am not a bad person, but he is just a liar. I don’t know why so many people lie to me and make me believe they care for me or that they want to help me, but I think it’s because I am a horrible, disgusting person. Now that I think about it, it makes sense why my dad blamed me for getting molested once again by my cousin; it’s because he remembered what I did and thinks that I probably seduced my cousin. It all makes sense. I don’t have sexual thoughts of any kind towards children now or even after that event, except when I was a child and had a crush, but those crushes have always been sexual in my mind, even for the guy in my 4th-grade class who said he wanted to do nonconsensual acts to me and even had dreams about it. I don’t know what to do, but I am here because I believe pedophilia is a mental illness that needs to be separated from society but still treated with care.

My question is pretty straight forward but for some context, I want to learn more about clay face, bane, the red hood, the riddler, and scarecrow and Harley Quinn. I have very basic information on a few of them due to the movies but I want to know more. I would like to see different variations of them. I

I want to get a PC I am not that well educated in it as I am a console player. I want to save up for a full pc set and hope I can get one that is at least 1000 bucks maybe 1200. I hope that is enough but I’m not sure what should get most of my money. If it allows me to play Heart of iron 4 and kerbal space program 2 then I want it. Is memory and a graphics card worth it? I am in the United States.

I want to get a PC I am not that well educated in it as I am a console player. I want to save up for a full pc set and hope I can get one that is at least 1000 bucks maybe 1200. I hope that is enough but I’m not sure what should get most of my money. If it allows me to play Heart of iron 4 and kerbal space program 2 then I want it. Is memory and a graphics card worth it?

I’ve only been trying to play for two days so this might just be a skill issue but I feel like my fingers are too short to play certain chords. I am trying to play Cm but it is such a struggle trying to get my pinky to have consistent pressure on the string or even reaching it.