▲ 49 r/Umawife

Earth-san, Amore mio!

(I did the translation myself, apologies in advance, it's quite clunky and I gave up in some parts)

I do really be living under a rock. I'm very late to the party, I know, but it's better late than never :-)

Una vera bellezza... too bad I have to wait another 407 days to enjoy exploring all her scenarios.

Sources:

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/143469657

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/114022266

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/123875161

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/124782355

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/143469657

https://x.com/corniof562/status/1983909899777274281?s=20

u/Samuel_AbdulMasih — 1 day ago

This is Sgt. Maj. Eliyahu of the Holy Thunderforce, Eisen Galaxy Sector, or as he knows himself "Fascist Decimator 9000."

Name: Eliyahu Yehoshua Cohen

Nicknames: "Dos'mou Allon" by his peers, "Eli" by friends and family, "Uncle Stick", jokingly used by his juniors.

Nationality: origins from Graz, temporary settlement in Leeds, later permanent settlement in Tiberias.

Affiliation/Faction: Loyalist (to the Master of the universe)

***​Occupation:

On Earth, Eli briefly played football, later became a military instructor, and eventually settled into life as a football coach.

After being deployed to the Eisen galaxy, he was appointed as a Sergeant Major.

Age: About ~7000 (by the second book), over 11000 (by the third book)

Height: 173 cm (220 cm posthumously, after enhancements)

***​Appearance:

During his earthly life, Eli was a heavy man with a large beard, hazel eyes, and brown hair.

Posthumously, his appearance became an enhanced version of his prime form in his 30s. He has a strong build, greyish skin, entirely white eyes, and dark grey hair.

Eli always looked older than his actual age. Even when he was only twenty, people thought he was forty. This only made him more imposing. He has harsh features and a permanently stern glare.

***​Background/History:

Eliyahu used to be an football player, but he changed careers and became a military instructor.

Much later, Austria was annexed by Germany. Eli openly opposed to the Nazi regime. He hated Hitler and his allies and supporters so much, and as a military officer, that got him into trouble.

Young Eli, in his own, frequently punched and shot any Nazi soldier he encountered and swore to eradicate every fascist he met to avenge his friends.

...

He then escaped to Britain and fought in ally front lines, and he, as a sergeant, continued decimating Nazis throughout the 1940s.

He got a few medals.

....

Eli's escapades ended by the 50s, with now older Eli already settling in Tiberias, where he started a family and became a football team coach.

However, his hatred for fascists and tyranny continued, even down to his bloodline.

He converted later in life, in his 60s, because of one of the players he coached.

He later died a natural death at 95.

***Posthumous ​Career:

Later, in Trito Stadio (essentially heaven), Eli was coached for thousands of years by Magistar Ga'ashyah.

Ga'ashyah thought Eli was special, as his military experience and zeal (as well as his booming voice) made him well suited to becoming a high-ranking officer in the Holy Thunderforce, especially since they younger Templars needed someone to train and discipline them.

Eli was deployed (back down to the mortal domain) to the Eisen galaxy and became a successful and well liked leader during the astro-crusades there.

Sergeant Major Eliyahu was leader of the Steel Generation, a legendary army of Astro-crusaders during the 7 and 14th millennium A.D in the Eisen galaxy.

He was very harsh, just as he had been as a military instructor, and strict just as he had been as a coach.

He beat the other astro-crusaders so frequently that he earned the nickname "Dos'mou Allon" , from "Dose Mou Allon" , meaning "Gimme Another", something he shouted offen, because he constantly broke the rod he used for discipline.

Eli went above and beyond to eradicate tyranny and spread justice, freedom, order, and truth, fighting everyone from the sorcerer warriors of Optimus Eisen and their Iron Imperium to the evil Filistiyyun Pirates from the death world of Jumjuma, and the demon invaders coming in their rogue-planetship fleets, and many other rebels and xenoids.

He is a kind-hearted man, but he has absolutely no respect or mercy for such evil people.

He led many successful campaigns with consecutive victories across planets, and for his achievements, Eli was awarded 8 medals.

***​Powers:

Besides the standard Thunder Baton and the steel sword tongue, possessed by the Boanerges, Eli has a special ability: laser eyes.

He can shoot both lasers and lightning from his eyes. Because of that, Eli often didn't wear his eagle helmet, which was a bit risky.

Like other high ranking Boanerges officers, he was identified by the banner on his jetpack/cannon pack, and the large feathered crest on the halo stop of his armour.

Enemies thought that made him an identifiable and easy target, but they were wrong.

Eli was considered one of the final bosses and one of the best eye-laser users among the Boanerges. Despite how powerful his enemies were, nobody was able to successfully take him down or withstand his eye lasers.

Although he enjoys using the Thunder Baton to decimate xenoids and rebels, Eli personally finds it much more fun to shoot them with his eye lasers.

***​Overview:

Eli is a very strict and loud man, but he is still a good man who genuinely cares for his brethren. He always tries to act as a father and mentor figure to them.

He expresses his care through discipline. He saw himself responsible for all his juniors and never gave up on any of them. He wanted them to overcome their fears, limits, and weaknesses/flaws, to be their best selves and being the best of glory to the Master of the universe.

Like all other templars, Eli had already achieved his life goals and dreams, so, everything he did by then is for the love of the game.

And though he's loud, he's very patient, very coolheaded and rarely gets angry.

That is Eli during work. When he is on break with his friends, however, he is a very lighthearted and silly guy. Sometimes he shows this side to his juniors by sarcasm or rough pranks.

One of his favourite pastimes is playing football, playing the glockenspiel and smoking. (In reality, his pipe is a mock-pipe that blows bubbles.)

He discovered video games during his lifetime thanks to his great-grandchildren, and the first game he became a professional at was Wolfenstein.

He did watch Indiana Jones, and his favourite movies of the franchise are Raiders of the Lost Ark and the Last Crusade.

u/Samuel_AbdulMasih — 9 days ago

I'm in love with Still in Love's hands!

Recently, and quite suddenly, I have found myself thinking about it for over a week now, and the realization has genuinely excited me. 

(Legit. Unironically.)

I am a left-handed man, so I have always considered left hands to be somewhat special. Yet I have NEVER been this infatuated with a hand before.

I'm worried that SiL has raised my standards in women's hands.

Hands are something that even I tend to overlook, despite how important they are and how much they can reveal about a person. They can be remarkably expressive, perhaps even more so than the eyes or any other feature. Nearly every act of love involves the use of hands. There is therefore something undeniably alluring about a woman with beautiful, well-cared-for hands.

Anyway, this is beginning to drive me insane. Still in Love has astonishingly attractive and flawless hands, especially her left hand. There is something genuinely beautiful about it, and I cannot help but admire it. Her hands are a perfect 10/10.

Don't get me wrong. Still is beautiful overall, but there is something PARTICULARLY captivating about her left hand. It looks especially striking with that vibrant red nail polish on her left RING FINGER, which complements her eyes and pale complexion so beautifully. It almost feels as though all of Still's beauty has somehow been concentrated in her hands.

And the way she covers her left hand and holds it at times, it only makes it feel even more shameless to look at her hand. It somehow makes it even harder not to notice.

-I bet... NO, I am certain that her left hand would give amazing, life-changing handjobs-

I want to hold her hands and feel them. I want Still to ruin me with her hands.

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/144461127 https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/141076356 https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/140482411 https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/144164241 (?) https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/8900344 (?) https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/9842095

u/Samuel_AbdulMasih — 12 days ago

I'm in love with Still in Love's hands!

Recently, and quite suddenly, I have found myself thinking about it for over a week now, and the realization has genuinely excited me. 

(Legitimately. Unironically.)

I am a left-handed man, so I have always considered left hands to be somewhat special. Yet I have NEVER been this infatuated with a hand before.

I'm worried that SiL has raised my standards in women's hands.

Hands are something that even I tend to overlook, despite how important they are and how much they can reveal about a person. They can be remarkably expressive, perhaps even more so than the eyes or any other feature. Nearly every act of love involves the use of hands. There is therefore something undeniably alluring about a woman with beautiful, well-cared-for hands.

Anyway, this is beginning to drive me insane. Still in Love has astonishingly attractive and flawless hands, especially her left hand. There is something genuinely beautiful about it, and I cannot help but admire it. Her hands are a perfect 10/10.

Don't get me wrong. Still is beautiful overall, but there is something PARTICULARLY captivating about her left hand. It looks especially striking with that vibrant red nail polish on her left RING FINGER, which complements her eyes and pale complexion so beautifully. It almost feels as though all of Still's beauty has somehow been concentrated in her hands.

And the way she covers her left hand and holds it at times, it only makes it feel even more shameless to look at her hand. It somehow makes it even harder not to notice.

-I bet... NO, I am certain that her left hand would give amazing, life-changing handjobs-

I want to hold her hands and feel them.

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/144461127 https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/141076356 https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/140482411 https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/144164241 (?) https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/8900344 (?) https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/9842095

u/Samuel_AbdulMasih — 13 days ago

Anything but Yukino 😭 (any tips to collect carats more effectively?)

Not so lucky today (don't get me wrong, they're great), wasted all the carats and I'm not going to pay for more.

I'm kinda new to the game, are there effective ways to collect carats?

u/Samuel_AbdulMasih — 15 days ago

I'm a very weak scumbag, but ever since I found Power Metal, I feel amazing and powerful, even for a very short while. Ice cream.

Power Metal albums have the most badass album covers and themes I enjoyed watching in movies (fantasy and sci-fi) It just makes me forget the constant pain and feel a short surge of power and energy.

Too bad I'm also losing the joy and excitement I used to feel for anything, especially music. I'm trying to force myself to have interests and engage in what I'm "passionate" about so that I'm not a normie/basic on top of being a useless loser.

Music really helps me focus, considering how I'm feeling like my brain functions are deteriorating, also find ideas for my stories, too (which I'm struggling to put on paper)

I always wished I was strong enough to bring some glory to God, and maybe be free​. Instead, I'm a small skeleton humonculus. I can't believe how much I​ sabotaged myself.

Anyways, the ice-cream was nice.

When pain takes over, short term pleasure is the only thing that might work. Even a few minutes of pleasure, or just a temporary distraction to shut the mind and forget the pain will be all that's needed.

Currently listened to Prophet of the Last Eclipse (by Luca Turilli). Give it a try.

u/Samuel_AbdulMasih — 16 days ago

WE'RE GETTING YUKINO BIJIN❗❗❗ 🗣️❄️❄️❄️

I play global 🌐 so i have to wait another year 🕘🗓️ for 「SOUNDS OF EARTH」🌏🎻 (my #1🥇 favourite), but「YUKINO BIJIN」⛸️❄️ (my #2 🥈favourite) is released to global 🌐 this month 🗓️8️⃣ this (Special) week 🗓️ just 3 days away 🗓️3️⃣ woohoo 😃 I am so happy about this information ℹ️😃 I'll save 🥕 💎 and will definitely get her 🤍🤍🤍‼️‼️‼️

(Cygames art only because glory to Cygames 🗣️ 🌟)

u/Samuel_AbdulMasih — 18 days ago

This comment aged horribly very quickly 💔

I made it yesterday (Aug 1), and it's only a few hours ago (Aug 2) that I learned of Tsurumaru's passing ​😢

u/Samuel_AbdulMasih — 19 days ago

The Bakushin logic 🗣️

She's super fast, even ​her mind is ahead of us lol.

But I ​kinda get this logic behind it ngl.

(​I won these 3 races.)

u/Samuel_AbdulMasih — 19 days ago