u/SavingsNatural9267

I am a new board certified engineer, but I don't know if the field is for me. I understand everything naman and I excelled during my college years, but I am not sure if I want to do this as my career. I don't think I will be a good engineer.

To engineers here who felt the same, and took the risk of pursuing another field, what do you do now? Did you ever feel na "sayang" ang pinagaralan, pera, at panahon dahil lumipat kayo ng field?

in case someone needs to hear this, yes! relationships are possible for us. we aren't hard to love. our mental health wouldn't and shouldn't hold us back from falling in love, having good relationships, and dreaming of families in the future.

to take myself as an example, i was a total wreck around a year or two ago (but ig in some parts, i still am). i am not proud of this (or i am ashamed), but i jumped from one sexual partner to another to deafen the "weird voices" in my head. it was pointed out to me na maybe i serial dated because i was depressed. ofc i was depressed. those were the worst years of my life.

yeah, sobrang fucked up ng history ko with people (but hello, never ako nagcheat). i was taken for granted, and minsan ako yung nagttake for granted. i was repeatedly told na i am hard to love, na i deserve to die.

pero despite it all, i found love. we've been dating for 6 months. we both talk about the future and super dami na naming dates kung saan-saan (may expensive restos, may kwekkwekan). i met her family, she'll meet mine soon (kapag may work na ako hehe js passed the boards).

there were ups and downs, lalo na at pareho kaming nagvivisit sa psychiatrists. but yeah, all in all, hindi talaga sagabal ang fucked up mental health sa pag-ibig. hindi dapat :-((((

kaya don't worry about it, stranger. you deserve to be loved!! you don't have to be "better" or "perfect" to be loved. basta ang alam ko, nag-exist lang ako biglang may nainlove na sa akin. the real ones wouldn't use your mental instability to not date youuu

i (F 23) am now comfortable sharing this to everyone kasi i am already in a healthy relationship with my very pretty girlfriend. pero before, from years 2020-2025, i was a harmless golddigger. funny it is that most of the time, they didn't even realize that i was using them for money.

it was during my late teens that i realized that i kinda sorta know how to persuade people. i was excellent at debates. i was also great sa college interviews and essays.

from then on, i practiced the skill of trickery and deceit. for my first time, i got 200 from a random guy sa isang anonymous chat app. no face reveals, no calls, not even meet ups, wala lahat. easiest 200 ever. from the next guy, a few months later, was 500. i bought Jollibee and nilibre ko yung whole family for dinner.

i don't recall every buck i got from them, but the highest i have ever received was 5,000 from either year 2023 or 2024 ata. the most recent and the last GCash i received was 2,000 kasi sinabi ko na nagccrave ako ng fast food. ang sabi niya, all i had to so was tell him the amount and he will send whatever the amount is. sinabi ko 200, dinagdagan niya ng zero sa dulo.

the most memorable guy probably was this med student na sinesendan ako ng pera everytime na nagaaway kami para raw magbati na kami. i did a little digging and it turns out that he was cheating on his long-term gf with me. i blocked him after that.

the thing is, I don't actually "ask" from these people I meet online. iba-iba rin ang strategy to milk them, but i guess the greatest trick is to make sure they wouldn't suspect that you are a golddigger in the first place. make them feel needed, na para kang damsel in distress tapos yung isesend niyang pera ang act of heroism niya for you.

i think the golddigging was harmless kasi i only milked people na i think were toxic. some were cheaters sa ex/current gfs nila, some were males na ang tingin sa mga babae ay katawan lang, and the likes. i never asked them a specific amount din. the amount of money they gave me is something they could earn in like an hour or half a day. barya lang yun sa kanila.

also, i never actually needed the money kasi i have scholarships na amounts to 120k+ per year. siguro, tinry ko lang talaga if kaya ko at kung magbibigay talaga sila. alam din nila na may scholarships ako, kaya siguro never sila nagsuspect kasi alam nila na marami akong pera.

iniisip ko now if magsisisi ako or hindi sa mga ginawa ko. hindi naman kaban ng bayan ang ninakaw ko eh huhu (at hindi ako nagnakaw. actually parang hindi nga siya golddigging. i just said the right words, and suddenly they're sending me money.

pero now, i have my very pretty gf and we spoiled each other na. alam din niya yung history ko na ito, at tinatawanan niya lang kasi mabait pa raw ako as a golddigger.

Hello. I need budget-friendly card wallet recos because I just got my licenses and this ID collection of mine is wearing off my main wallet.

Any recommendation will do, with the following non-negotiables:

- with 4+ card/ID slots

- budget-friendly

- sleek and presentable. PRC licenses and other professional IDs ang ilalagay

- leather/faux leather only

Thank you in advance!

**please delete this if not allowed. this is just a genuine wondering, as someone who also struggles with s****dal ideations.**

firstly, do not really want to "support" this idea. if anyone tells me they want to commit self-deletion, i'd probably be the first responder to talk them out of it. however, i can't help but wonder why can't it be self-care?

the person who wanted to "go" probably thought that this is the easiest, most peaceful path in their mental health journey. why do we even stop them when we can't promise them a better future? feeling ko kasi yung statement na "it will get better" isn't really true all the time. why would we let them suffer more by asking them to continue living rather just letting them do what they decided on with much thought?

without religious guilt or whatever, how do you refute this? i'm just curious.

whenever i see "do it scared" posts, i always self-assess if useless ba ako or am i not as good as them kasi i really can't do it scared. i have bipolar 2, and the anxiety is so bad na it was very hard for me to take risks. i am so scared sometimes na i freeze. i hyperventilate. mataas ang expectations ko sa sarili ko simula bata pa ako, kaya nadidisappoint ako minsan sa decisions ko sa instances na kailangan kong magtake ng risks. nakakatakot kasi talaga magfail.

but ang sabi ng therapist ko and people who love me, i need to try to be kinder to myself. saying "no" to situations that will greatly affect my mental health is okay. fear is okay. if i can't or dont want to do things kasi i am scared, it is okay. being scared is never a sign of weakness.

in life, hindi naman lahat ng risk ay dapat mo i-take. sometimes, you need to prioritize your mental well being more than yung standards sa'yo ng society.

maybe today, takot ka gawin yung isang bagay na yun. okay lang yun. darating yung araw na hindi ka na matatakot, or kahit matakot ka man, it wouldn't feel as heavy.

This is in Calamba City, Laguna, which has a free mental health program. I used to go to a private (and reasonably expensive) clinic for my psychiatrist but I can't afford that now. Two years na akong on-and-off sa medications and check-ups because of how expensive mental healthcare is.

I've read horror stories kasi ng public hospitals, lalo na sa NCMH, and nadidiscourage ako magpacheck-up because of that. Sobrang good naman ng experience ko sa private psychiatrist, pero hindi ko na afford.

I have Bipolar II, by the way.