u/Scary_Note_8797

Hi, i’m thinking of moving to portland and wanted to how the recovery is there. are there a lot of young people?

the grief is going to swallow me whole. i feel stuck. everyone has move on but me, even him.

My ex is an alcoholic. i am one too. i got sober before he did and i found out he was cheating on me. we broke up. we got back together for a period and he wouldn’t drink around me but went out the night we broke up and started dating someone else.

we talked on the phone the other day. he’s sober (one month) and he’s going to therapy and getting on meds. i know we aren’t together and this might be selfish but i don’t understand why he’s doing all of the things that i encouraged him to do after we broke up.

i’m in a stage where i miss him and want him back but i do not want him back. he stared dating someone else the same day we stopped talking. i can’t ever take him back or have sex with him knowing that he replaced me so soon. knowing that he’s had sex with someone else and is doing all of the things we used to do with her. i want him back but i can’t have him back. there is no coming back from that. he’s ruined everything that we had. there’s no hoping that things will be different. it’s just something i have to get over.

Heo!

For context i’m a cuties picker. i did my nails on Tuesday. soaked in acetone and then pained with gel and cured. i woke up with itchy fingers and throughout the day my thumb was swollen. i attempted to take the polish off with acetone and it barley came off. then i went to urgent care because my thumb is swollen in pain and stiff , cant move it. they told me to soak it in warm water and put neosporin on it. she said i wasn’t allergic but i clipped the skin in my nail. i took a benadryl and went to sleep. my fingers are still itchy one of the things feels better but the other thumb is still hard to move stiff and hurts. there is also blue under the nail. help!

I woke up today longing to be held by you. to wake up next to you one more time. to have you pull me close to you. i wish i woke up next to you before everything fell apart.

i realized that i will never be held by you again.

the absence of me probably does not seem as loud for you. you’ve replaced my arms with another pair.

i tried to do that, but the absence of you was louder. will i compare every pair of arms that hold me to how safe i felt in yours?

there’s a different type of grief I feel when I realize that everyone else has moved on but me.

Songs for today:

right where you left me - taylor swift

cellophane - FKA twigs

I don’t want to go to bars but i do miss getting dressed up and going out. i would feel uncomfortable wearing a slutty outfits to dinner and idk where else to go for that.

there is a 2000 Jeep Cherokee Limited for sale for $11k with 194,000 miles. no major issues. this is my first time buying a car and i’m a 24 year old with no experience with cars but i really want this car. is it something i can learn and maintain on my own? is that overpriced?

casual sex in AA. what are your experiences?

He went on a date with someone the day we stopped talking and they’re still seeing each other.

for context we were off and on for two years. in april, we spent a few days together knowing that we would stop talking afterward. we ended things. i went home he went to the bar hooked up with one girl and then got another girls number.

a few days later, i sent him pictures i took of him from a photo shoot and he said i left my clothes. we spent a few days together and he was texting one of the girls he met. i started crying when i found out and he started crying too. he begged me not to leave his house and i stayed. i came back that day on my lunch break and he said he was going out of town that night so i had to go home and we had to stop talking.

he ended up going on a date that night instead. i saw them walking down the street together a week later and i found out that they are still seeing each other.

i think the worst part is that he’s moved on while i‘m still depressed and grieving. i can’t eat i can’t sleep i don’t feel like doing anything.

at this point i don’t even want him back because knowing that he’s been with someone else ia gross. knowing that he could replace me in one day is sick.

I’m just thinking about my previous relationships. the guy(mykel) always made me feel like i wasn’t good enough. that dynamic never changed, two years of feeling small. drugs, drinking, his ex, the girl he cheated on me with, the girl he rebounded to were more important. there are so many people who make me feel so loved, i have so many friends that i feel love from. i’ve been in relationship where i felt valued and respected. why do i keep going back to the one who made me feel like i wasn’t enough?

He‘a already seeing someone else. i broke no contact and we spent the whole day on the phone. he made a joke about coming over and i asked if he would actually come over. he said no because he’s seeing someone else they’ve never had the “we’re exclusive“ conversation. he said he see’s her once a week and they’ve been talking for two months. we talked about our relationship and funny things that happened to us during sex. he said he didn’t want to see me because “he didn’t know what would happen”

for context he cheated on me but now all of the sudden he’s mr. loyal to some girl he started seeing the week we ended things. a girl he’s not even in a relationship with.

that man just does not like me. it’s as simple as that. lollllllll

any advice on how to cope knowing that they have moved on?

I got a missed call from a no caller id the other day. i have a pretty good feeling that it was my ex. no one else has done that kinda stuff to me before. he was blocked. there was only one call. and i’ve been spiraling ever since. i called him back but i'm blocked. i called using no caller id and no answer.

i have him unblocked now so that if he does call i will know.

did he call? why did he only call once?