Just wanted to use this selfie Sunday to share how far I’ve come since last year. 😊 I’m now 2 months on T and am starting to see some effects of it on my body in terms of muscle, too. I‘m still glad I built a solid base before starting T though.
A little euphoric selfie Sunday post, because despite my impatience with all the changes, I love what T is doing so far. 7 weeks in my voice has dropped noticeably, my lifts have gone up and even the random horniness is giving me euphoria 😂 I found an old video today where I was checking how my voice sounded in different languages and holy shit the difference to today? Insane.
Wishing everybody a good start into the new week 💪
…for the time being till T does its thing, might as well dress up as one.
Happy Selfie Sunday everyone. This took me ages to recreate today(reference in second pic) and I’m still not 100% happy with it, but the lighting literally ran away from me. I actually straightened my precious curls for this one (holy shit is my hair long and thick 🙈)
Three weeks on T this Friday by the way - life’s good. 😁
Technically not a selfie BUT the first pic in months in which I am actually smiling and don’t get dysphoric seeing it. Two weeks on T. 🥹
Hey everyone, I finally made it to „the other side“ and got my T. 8 days on it now and it’s already doing a lot. My voice even dropped a bit the other day at the gym, my high notes have gone bye bye. 😬 I feel amazing. But honestly how do you deal with the impatience of „okay now do something else“ 🙈 my adhd brain can’t comprehend the word „slow process“
Come on, do something already, magic boy goo. (Don’t come at me for the glasses I KNOW they‘re feminine but my eyesight failed me today lol)
Obviously after 3 days on T it didn’t feel much different and I could hardly compare it since I had to switch up exercise order, but I can’t wait to see how big the difference is in terms of how the workout feels and how fast the muscles grow.
It finally happened after months and months of waiting I was finally able to start T today, one day after my 37th birthday. Can’t wait for the changes. 🥹 I am so relieved and happy right now.
(Yes, I had to burn off all that cake somehow… pull-ups on my balcony seemed like a completely normal thing at the time)
So I posted 2 days ago about being soo close to starting T. Unfortunately the letter stating my insurance will cover the T for my endocrinologist arrived late this afternoon so not in time for me to start on my actual birthday, but I happy cried anyway. Couldn’t have asked for a better birthday gift and hopefully I can pick up my prescription tomorrow already. 🙏
I got some good news from my insurance today - I think. It sounds like the medical services recommended for me to go on T, which means the insurance will likely issue the paper saying they‘ll cover the cost and then my endocrinologist can finally prescribe it. Fingers crossed I get it before Thursday. It’s my bday and it would be SO awesome to start T then. Also felt like an absolute unit at the gym today and wanted to share 🙌
Since starting T is taking longer than expected (approval process is VERY slow) and I am constantly being she/her‘d and Ma‘amed and sent to the women‘s changing rooms at work despite being 5‘11“ maybe you have some tips for me I could implement? I try dressing age and workplace appropriate, I work out and diet as well as I can and the haircut is there because the perm gives my otherwise very shiny and dead straight hair some structure and cutting it short would probably make it look like a pixie. Voice test says my voice pitch is more in the androgynous to male range already but I feel like at least in some cases it’s the voice where people go „oh“. Unfortunately I’m a very hairless person so things like dyeing or tinting the peach fuzz above my lip aren‘t possible. Maybe someone has an idea about a tweak that would help?
Edit: thank you so much everyone for the tips and kind words. I made this post bc I am incredibly frustrated with how long I have to wait for T and the uncertainty of it all at the moment. I am doing everything I can do get that T train moving, but it takes like 6 months of mandatory therapy, then an indication letter from the psychologist, another letter from the endocrinologist, then you have to submit everything to the insurance and when I did that yesterday after my endocrinologist finally did their part after 6 weeks of nothing I got a response saying it may take up to five weeks for them to decide. Hence my need to do SOMETHING OTHER THAN WAIT FOR T 😭
So I finally got everything I needed to apply for T with my insurance today, let’s hope this is one of the last pics of me pre-T 🥹🥹🥹
The letter from my endocrinologist that I need to apply for coverage for my T with my insurance finally arrived today after SIX WEEKS of endless waiting and bugging them and waiting again 😭🙏
Needless to say I submitted everything to my insurance right away, please send good luck that they don‘t take as long as the endocrinologist to approve it and that I can start T soon 💕
I need help, I took a bunch of pics today but I can’t decide which one to put in my dating apps. I like em all but I think most people will look at some of them and think I am quietly judging their life choices (which I probably am, but I‘ll keep it to myself, promise 😭)
Which one would make you swipe right?
Hey, so I just wanted to share that I passed a major milestone today! I officially changed my name and gender marker. The process itself was incredibly underwhelming in the sense that I did not even get ONE document with my new name on it right away and it only got changed in the system and now within the next weeks I can order a new birth certificate and get a new id etc. - but my colleague at work baked a cake for me with trans coloured stars, got me a happy birthday rainbow candle and trans coloured stickers with my new name. 🥹 and then we all had secco in the office to celebrate so that was kinda nice. Everybody at my work is so cool about it. 🫰
Since today marks a very important day in my calendar, yet the act in itself was totally anticlimactic I thought I’d celebrate a little bit with you guys: I finally changed my name and gender marker officially today.
It’s funny that at this point the only thing I have got to show for it is a receipt over the 40€ it cost me to get it changed in the database. I still have to order a new birth certificate, new marriage certificate, get a new ID and a new passport. But apparently, somewhere in a system, I am officially Sawyer now. 🎉
… for me it’s not even the dysphoria. It’s having to come out again and again and again and again. To my parents, my kid, my grandparents (have yet to do that one), my co-workers, friends, people on dating apps - I am exhausted by that before even starting T. Part of me wants to just go fuck it I don’t wanna be trans anymore I’m just gonna cosplay a girl for the rest of my life because I am so OVER explaining myself.
I put off coming out at work simply for the reason that I was so fed up with it and the only reason I did it was because constantly being misgendered was hurtful aswell.
Honestly if I had the option, I’d just move to a different country once sufficiently long enough on T and say good riddance to everybody I knew because I simply can’t anymore 😭
Yes paperwork, getting therapy, appointments etc sucks balls aswell - but I think what bugs me most is that you have to explain yourself to everybody comes ON TOP of all that when you‘re already running on fumes through separation, organisation etc. (And the fact that most people actually wait for you to have legally changed your name and gender marker to start using it 🙄)
Anyway just needed to get that off my chest.
I‘m having more and more fun taking portraits of myself these days lol. Still waiting on my T, still no fixed start date. 😮💨 I’m off to Mexico in a week and right after that can finally change my name and gender marker officially.
And the most random thing that gave me gender euphoria today: cracked open a coconut with my bare hands. Yay. (The fight to get the pulp out was much harder though)
Happy Sunday everyone.
…I „tried on the look“. 😂 I got a lot of comments on recent photos saying I looked like Hermes or Achilles from the Song of Achilles sooo I thought I’d use AI to give myself a uniform - and now my question is: where do I wear this to? 😂 Would it be acceptable to go to work like this? 😬