u/Sensitive-Hornet-883

How are you feeling? I've been in my head a lot and very reserved with my thoughts, feelings, and personality. Im usually out going and bubbly and sweet but since August began I've been very disconnected. Almost dissociative in a way, but with purely myself. When it comes to others im 100% locked in for them, well at least 80%.

I was wondering if any other Aqua 1H/stellium people put there have been feeling the same? What do you think is causing this? Someone please help with an answer 🫠

Right right right of course not. They disconnect and move on.

I'm sure thats the answer... but my aquarius ex was a deep feeler wirh little words to say about it. Im sure we all know that Aquarius get a bad rep for being heartless and emotionless but we know they're not. I die on that hill lol

So for the Aquarius out there that have water moons and venus placements.... do you ever think about your ex? If so, in what way? Good riddance, I hope they're doing well, I miss them, or dodged a bullet kinda way? Obviously its situational.

My Aqua ex n I ended on bad terms, but we had an amazinf relationship when it was good. Hes confided in me a lot about things hes never told anyone before. He's told me im the best thing to have happened and how I've changed his life. I believe it. We've been broken up for a good couple months now, and I do not want to get back with him but with a love THAT intense, its hard to forget him. I do think of him a lot, especially with music we've bonded over.

Do you think an Aquarius like im describing would think about me the same way? Again, not in a "i wanna get back with her" kinda way but in a "i hope she's doing well. This song makes me think of her" kinda way.

TW: DV & drugs

I faced another disaster, my first big one without you. I wanted to call you and beg for help through my tears of my latest mistakes.

Im not that smart.

I care too much, I need to care less about people.

I trust the wrong people.

Im the real addict.

Everything I would fight you over or get so hurt when you nearly spat these in my face... they held truth, admittedly.

I swung open the door and dove into months of addiction, because you werent there.

Coke.

More coke.

Nos

Ketamine

Coke & Ketamine

Meth.

And more Coke.

I thought this guy was on the same page as me. I trusted a stranger more than I could trust myself.

I supported and catered to his needs the way i never did for you. As if i tried to show that I'm capable now.

I let him so quickly use me until I almost forgot who I was. The way you always wanted to do to me.

I think..

I've much rather it been you,, than him.

Regardless, I lose

But at least I'll be able to

kiss

and hug you

one more time.

I miss you sometimes.

Only when im in a darker place than where you've put me before.

TW: DV & drugs

I faced another disaster, my first big one without you. I wanted to call you and beg for help through my tears of my latest mistakes.

Im not that smart.

I care too much, I need to care less about people.

I trust the wrong people.

Im the real addict.

Everything I would fight you over or get so hurt when you nearly spat these in my face... they held truth, admittedly.

I swung open the door and dove into months of addiction, because you werent there.

Coke.

More coke.

Nos

Ketamine

Coke & Ketamine

Meth.

And more Coke.

I thought this guy was on the same page as me. I trusted a stranger more than I could trust myself.

I supported and catered to his needs the way i never did for you. As if i tried to show that I'm capable now.

I let him so quickly use me until I almost forgot who I was. The way you always wanted to do to me.

I think..

I've much rather it been you,, than him.

Regardless, I lose

But at least I'll be able to

kiss

and hug you

one more time.

I miss you sometimes.

Only when im in a darker place than where you've put me before.

My Cancerian longing & desire paired with the passion & romantics of my Leo (tiny award to the Libra mars in me who craves romcom lifestyle) are wondering when and how did you realized that the person you married/settled down with was your forever person?

Im still grieving a breakup that I thought was my forever. I just wanna know the signals of when I meet my forever.. im exhausted but god relationship honestly rule my life, for better and for worse. A lot of my chart revolves around personal/romantic/surface level relationships in my life lol I love love and im honestly an amazing partner despite expected human flaws. I wanna get married to a wonderful person who is just as crazy and passionate and loyal as me and never have to worry otherwise. I want a love and a life where we always laugh and never get scared to talk to each other. I cant marry myself lol I know my person is out there but im beginning to feel disheartened by the thought that I may be dreaming too big.

If you have the same chart as me I'd REALLY like your intel. Im aware everyone is different but we're all astrology nerds here and I think we can agree that there is a slight truth/pattern to us especially with same planetary positions and signs.

Run down of my chart:

Cancer Sun + Mercury 6H

Leo Moon + Venus 7H

Libra Mars + Chiron 8H

Aqua Ascendant / stellium

2 months of not talking or seeing each other felt like 9 months. I grieved so hard these 2 months, even got therapy. I still struggle from time to time. I still have periods of sadness where I contemplate calling you, driving to see you, and just checking up. I still dont want you. I cant, youre far too damaged and refuse to get help. So WHY is it that i finally put myself out there and hook up (ew) with an old friend, that I feel guilty as if in an hour youre gonna text me and want to make things work. This is crazy. Am i crazy? No, im processing.

Birthday: 7/7

​

Im so sad about my birthday this year. Its my first birthday alone in quite some time... freshly single as of 5/15, living alone in a new state, im in debt due to my last relationship so i cant do anything, and I made 2 good friends but I dont think they'll do anything for me (im not offended by it, we're not close like that).

Last year I was in a car accident that made me cancel all my plans that were made, my family is in another state (i will be flying to see them the 10-13th) but i want to celebrate my birthday on my day... ykbow? I'm just feeling sad. I'll be 29 and I'm essentially starting my life over. I always make birthdays special for others, all i ever want is a surprise party or a cake. What do I even do alone on my birthday?

​

A sad crab. :(

3 weeks and some days no contact.

Im struggling bad. This was someone (34M) who I (28F) thought was my one. We planned everything and our lives together. I ended things because he 1.) Had addiction issues and 2.) isnt capable of reciprocating emotions, empathy, and frankly, love. I dont wanna use the term avoidant but he is one. He even knows this. He just chooses not to face his issues or feels like he doesnt deserve good things, both of them honestly are his issue. I was tired of constantly taking fault for our problems. I was sad when id ask for help and he didnt budge or when I needed affection and he coldly would tell me to hug my cat (as example). Somewhere along our relationship he stopped loving me and started resenting me. In a more screwy perspective, he ACTUALLY tried to not lean into his avoidant ways, but it never stuck. Thats what hurts more, is i saw him try and i know he loved me, but something in him wouldnt allow himself to drop his guard or ego or pain.

So here I am now, grieving a love that could have been beautiful. Sobbing at work. Writing letters to him that he'll never see. Missing and loving this person who, for all I know, is drowing himself in his addictions. If only he knew how much i still care for him, and how badly I hope he gets better, that if he came to me as a changed man (and wanting that change for himself) I would let him in all over again.

Thanks for letting me vent.

I just now realized this, and Ive been so scared of this return for a year now for this exact reason.

I met who I thought was the love of my life 2 years ago. I changed my whole life with him, better and worse. Moved states and became more of an adult and learned a lot about myself, while simultaneously inching closer to creating my happy future fantasy life. But this relationship has failed ao many times now and this just may be the last time. We've tried to make this work so many times that its at a point where I think we essentially resent each other yet neither of us want to end things... Is this my Saturn return happening and trying to make me see/understanding something?

A few insights from my chart that I think could help explain?

Cancer sun/Mercury 6H

Leo moon/venus/Juno 7H

Libra Mars/Chiron 8H

Aqua Rising + Jupiter/Uranus (R)

Aries Saturn (Empty House)

I am extremely sad... i really qould appreciate any info, positivity, lessons to look for, literally ANYTHING to make this transition easier.

Hi friends, I was wondering how many Aquas tend to run away from problems instead of dealing with it. Or if they are "confronting" said problems, the Aqua will still push fault on anything/anyone else? Obviously this is a very unhealed/unevolved trait. If you used to do this, when did you stop? HOW did you stop? Im very patient with my Aqua.... but we are not on good terms and I refuse to be with this Aqua until they are healed. I love him, but he doesn't seem to love himself or us enough to take accountability and change. Hes 34 🙃 but has a lot of issues both from the past and I can bank on it with himself.

Just curious if anyone has lived this life and/or have made better versions of themselves, as an Aqua sun/stellium. Hes also got an Aries Juno which is even more solidarity type of mindset.

And yes, im taking time away from him until he can heal or we just wont ever be together again. Doesn't change the fact I love him and im grieving.