u/SevereTell

Found out earlier this year that I’m at 33% body fat which is almost all abdominal and visceral. Since then, I’ve started to slowly build healthier habits to reduce my cardiovascular risk (both diabetes and heart disease in my family) but I’ve never lived like this before lol.

At baseline I’ve always been a size S in clothes, I never worked out or lifted weights and have minimal muscle mass, previously walked <2k steps a day, my only form of exercise is hiking a few times a year, and I mostly eat processed carbs and only like protein when it’s fried.

Now I’m lifting three times a week, trying to aim for 8k steps a day, trying to cook meals at home and hit 90g of protein a day, today I’m going to my first yoga class bc I’m horribly inflexible, and slowly upping my fiber intake from essentially zero. I’ve introduced these changes slowly since Spring and I’m seeing essentially zero changes in the mirror (probably bc I’m still binging shin ramen and Ben and Jerry’s weekly, old habits die hard) but it’s wild how I’m now constantly doing something. Before I used to sit around at work and then come home, order fried chicken, and sit in the couch til bedtime. Now I’m constantly at the grocery store or cooking or washing dishes or doing laundry to make sure I have clean gym clothes or going for a walk bc my step count is too low or I guess today I’m going to a yoga class bc I can’t be trusted to stretch at home lol. Does it just stay like this forever?? I kind of miss couch rotting but now when I do it I’m aware of how shitty and stiff I feel. What the hell?

Update: holy crap I didn’t expect this many responses, thank you everyone for sharing! I’m back from yoga, got in a 2 mile walk after and made some lunch. Reading comments while I put off washing dishes LOL. Just to clarify, I didn’t mean for this post to sound like I was complaining about my appearance, this isn’t really about aesthetics for me. Like hell yeah it would be cool to be ripped but I’m more focused on like… not aging miserably. I think the title was misleading in that regard, sorry. I posted bc I really am just truly baffled by how much free time I had before to couch rot BECAUSE I wasn’t taking care of myself vs how I’m constantly doing stuff to care for myself now, and how much that entails that other people were doing automatically all along. Kind of along the lines of “you never know what’s going on in someone’s home behind closed doors,” I thought we were all just eating dinner and watching TV LOL. Now I’m on the other side like damn, you people live like this??? Really appreciate all your perspectives and encouragement as I adjust to this healthier lifestyle!

Update#2: u/KactusEvergreen made another post articulating my actual question without all my additional spazziness lol, wanted to shout it out and thank her!

Like… what does this mean? What does it feel like and look like? I’m imagining a gush of blood every time you pee, so doesn’t that mean there’s now blood all over your vaginal canal and entrance and you’d need to wear a liner at the very least? Is it controllable? What do you do to cause it to happen? Can you resist it happening?

I’m trying a menstrual cup for the first time (Saalt Regular) and definitely don’t think this is right for me. I had to cut the stem off bc it was poking out and bothering my entrance. It’s a bit of a struggle to get in and out and when it’s in, I can tell that it’s harder to pee and I don’t feel like I can empty my bladder fully. I’d like to try a disc instead but I don’t want to purchase a dozen different ones that I’ll end up throwing out. The whole point is to reduce waste and it sucks if it’s not a good fit. Can anyone recommend a disc that might be a good fit?

I did the knuckle test and I have a high cervix, so I bought the Saalt normal size but when I pee it feels like my stream is weaker and it takes longer to empty/at the end I have to try several times to get the last bit out. Does this mean I should be using the small cup? I’m a little nervous that if it’s smaller it’ll be harder to grab and get out :(

Hi all! I'm a mid-30s woman who realized I was deeply codependent after my first situationship. It was a terrible 6mo-long ordeal, he kept saying he "wanted" to be exclusive but then he would sleep with other women while saying we "weren't ready yet" for exclusivity and I kept trying to understand his perspective and overperform to earn love and be validated as good enough to make up for the emotional neglect I experienced in childhood. Just your classic low self-worth and perfectionist combo, super fun lol. I did 2 years of intensive trauma therapy and worked extremely hard on building up self-confidence, self-acceptance, and self-love. My goal was to get to a place where I genuinely enjoy my company and my life, so I wouldn't every stay in a situation where I'd feel like any partner needs to save me or complete me. I changed jobs for a less toxic one, advocated for a nice pay raise, got an apartment that removed some unhealthy things about my last living situation, started traveling solo, leaned into friendships, and developed new hobbies.

I do feel like I've gotten to a really good place, and a few months ago I essentially graduated therapy (my lovely therapist moved but gave me her blessing to stop sessions and start dating, and said she was very impressed with my progress). I matched with this guy a week ago who seemed really nice and communicative. He sent me a sweet message, we chatted back and forth using voice notes for a week, and I did a great job of staying present, not projecting a whole future with him or anything, just enjoying our conversation and enjoying slowly getting to know someone. He asked me out and made dinner reservations, I got all dolled up, we stayed for a while after the meal talking nonstop, he walked me to my car and he initiated a cute little first kiss. He texted me late after I went to bed saying he enjoyed the date and said he'd text me the next day. I replied back in the morning agreeing and continuing the conversation, and got left on read.

I am trying to self-regulate and soothe my disappointment. In the past I would've totally crashed out LOL but here I am working on accepting that I cannot predict what someone else is thinking, it was on him to communicate honestly and he clearly didn't, and this wouldn't be a good partner fit for me anyway. I'm also trying to remind myself that it's healthy and normal to feel excited when you connect with someone and disappointed when that doesn't pan out, and I shouldn't be ashamed of wanting/seeking connection. But I'm also really upset about being ghosted this way. The last thing he messaged me was that he'd text me again the next day, so the sting of being lied to hurts. Also before we met we briefly did talk about how messed up it is to ghost people, and now I remember him saying he was guilty of doing it which should've maybe been a red flag for emotional unavailability.

I find myself wondering if I should send him a message asking him to confirm that he is not interested, something along the lines of "you don't need to give me an explanation, it's none of my business why, but I would appreciate it if you could confirm that your interest has changed, thanks." My reasoning is that it would be a practice in asking for what I need, which is something I am actively working on. My hesitation is that I might just be looking for a response from someone who clearly doesn't want to give me one. It just sucks that we had such a lovely fun time talking and getting to know each other, and I was fully looking forward to seeing him again and seeing if we could be compatible. But instead it just gets cut off for no reason I can understand. Maybe he wasn't attracted to me, maybe he had unrealistic expectations, maybe something in me intimidated him. I have no idea. But he spoke multiple times about how online dating dehumanizes people and how we should all give each other more grace, so it bothers me that he doesn't extend that to the people he dates.

Okay I know this isn’t encouraged, but I like to browse anti comments and see just how far people will go to discredit BTS, especially when they’re obviously twisting reality to suit their narrative.

There’s a bunch of comments making fun of Jimin for “forgetting” to sing the first few notes of his part, saying it’s proof of what a bad performer he is and how he must not be used to singing instead of lip syncing. And I’m like, are we watching the same halftime show??

He VERY CLEARLY is making eye contact with the camera, mouths the notes on time with the music, and chooses when to bring the mic up to his lips to sing. BTS does this all the time (usually Yoongi tbf) to prove they’re actually performing live instead of mouthing along. It’s very obvious to me that this was on purpose and it gave me a good chuckle to watch haters bend over backwards insisting the talent isn’t there when it clearly is.

I’m a new fan as of this year and the Arirang release, got introduced to the boys through their Hot Ones episode and watched their Rolling Stones interview where RM said their haters sit at home praying for their downfall. I thought he was being dramatic when I heard that, but after seeing the hate comments for myself I stand corrected. These people are really delusional, which is ironic bc that seems to be the first insult they throw at fans. Anyway I bought tickets to their Chicago show and the halftime performance has me even more excited to see them live! They killed it!!