u/ShouldNotHaveWokenUp

I’ve known for a while that eventually I’d have to cut my parents off. I’m 19, a trans guy and I’m currently in uni. And just now is it really hitting me. I think it always felt like it would be something I would never have to actually think about but now I’m realising that I’m getting to the point where it’s inevitable.

To explain why this time next year me and my parents will probably never be in contact again. It’s partly because my parents have at times not been great, mostly because I’m trans. As much as I want to forgive my parents for how they’ve treated my mental health problems, sometimes physical health. How they’ve reacted in certain situations related to that. How my autism diagnosis is used as a threat and yet not taken seriously. How they don’t understand that I am an adult now. How they generally don’t respect me. It’s hard to forgive any of that. But the biggest reason I won’t be speaking to them in probably a few months time is they can’t accept that I’m trans, and I can’t stop putting off fully living my own life to avoid an argument. Even though part of me doesn’t want to cut off my parents, I’ll have to because if I don’t I’ll be arguing for the rest of my life. That or they’ll choose to cut contact with me.

I think the main thing that’s getting to me is realising that they won’t be there for any of my next milestones in life. I’m going to graduate uni without them, be starting a writing career without them, I’ll get married and have a family and they won’t be a part of any of it. I know that it’s for the best since even now while I’m sad about all of that, I can’t stand my parents. It’s still sad to think that they won’t be able to put aside how they feel just to be there for me. And I know for a fact they won’t. Even knowing that the last conversation that I’m going to have with my parents WILL end in an argument, and knowing that I’m going to have to tell them to not tell any other family members to harass me about it otherwise I have to cut them off too, and despite that I’ll still lose most of my family. The only bright side to it is that I have my friends, but that just isn’t the same as having my parents and my family.

Hi redit, so I’m being driven insane.
I just want to ask what is the way to tell that the guy I like actually like me back because I feel like my friends will always be more inclined to tell me I’m not just seeing things that aren’t there.

Basically I feel like everything I notice can either be written off as pure coincidence. Him just being friendly. Or something else. On top of that I don’t have great interactions to go base any of this off of. Our only one on one conversation was cut short by me having to go to A&E.

Does anyone have anyway for me to tell? I’m in the same friend group as him and so I don’t want to wind up doing anything too obvious and make things awkward but if he likes me then I want to be able to flirt or at least be giddy about it all and not feel crazy.

Nearly forgot to add. I’m a trans man. He’s gay. We are both autistic.

Update: the situation is more confusing.

I have been losing my mind, previously I wrote things off a bit as I was being delusional, and I got some confirmation about that when some of our friends have also said that they really don’t think it’s crossed his mind at all.

Except I’ve gotten a lot closer with him. We have a lot of deep conversations that usually last hours. I stay with him a lot these days, to the point where it’s a joke that I live in that flat. After spending like a full day and a half there we are already talking about me going back tonight, I only got home like 2/3 hours ago. I can’t tell if it’s a joke or not.

There was also this small moment that I feel insane for even noticing at all. He sort of grabbed my finger, idk how else to put it but it was different from some of the stuff he normal does. Or maybe it wasn’t different? And I’m just reading into it funny.

I also had someone today ask me if there was something going on between us, but she knows how I feel so idk if that’s her reading into it because of that. I’m also getting encouragement to ask him on a date maybe from someone who previously said it’s definitely not crossed his mind at all.

I’m going insane. He’s an amazing friend and he’s helped me so much that I wouldn’t want to ruin the friendship by telling him. But also I feel like regardless of whether he likes me or not I might need to tell him just to avoid him hearing about it from someone else.

Another update:
Soo, last update was a few days ago. Didn’t think this would be getting any updates let alone two.

I have spent most nights in his the past while as we are watching a show together, he asked me to come over and idk, there is alot of banter and deep talk but also he’s said some things very sincerely that again I cannot tell if I’m looking into it and he just likes my company or if it means something.

He said he likes hearing it when I apologised for yapping too much.

He made a small comment of telling me not to call my own book drafts not very good

He agreed when I said I’d like to think I’m easy to talk to

He called me agreeable.

I don’t know, I feel crazy and like a detective.

He also seemed to go quiet when I was talking about this guy I’ve started speaking to. But he may have just been tired?

We also have been deep talking a lot about my past relationships.

I’m writing this while he’s asleep next to me, idk what to do because I’m so so close to spilling and just telling him.