u/Sirensayo

Sometimes, I like to think about how the story and relationships would go if the MC was actually the player. Not a hunter, no prior connections to the LIs, no tragic back story, basically if YOU were put into MCs place as yourself, not the character you customised. Because not all of us players are able bodied enough to actually be a hunter, not all of us are girls, not all of us are confident and extroverted like MC, some of us are ace, some of us mentally ill, some of us need accommodations etc. And none of us have a real-life aether core inside us. Our lives in universe would be vastly different to the MCs story.

So, players, if YOU were in the LADS universe, realistically who do you think is the most likley LI you'd actually connect with and end up with? What kind of job would you have? What would your life look like? Would you even have an evol at all?

I'd probably be in a similar position as I am irl, just trying to live in a world definitely not made with people like me in mind. I'm too disabled to be a hunter, I'd probably just have some boring normal job and get very annoyed when wander attacks delay my train ride home. As for which LI is most realistically compatible with me, I'd say Zayne. Not just because I'm biased and he's my main. But because the man is a doctor who can actually understand and help me with my health, and he's very blunt and straightforward, emotionally mature and intelligent and gets shit done quietly and efficiently, which I really need people to be. As much as I love Sylus, I'd absolutely not survive the stress of the N109 zone (I'm also fucking terrified of guns so I'm not setting foot in that man's base). So even if I love the others as characters, I wouldn't realistically be compatible with some of them you know?

MC out here on the battlefield risking their life, and I'm sitting in a doctors waiting room wondering when AKSO is going to finally install a wildlife camera to live stream Clopidogrel eating his nuts to the waiting room TV.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Lot of talk about the vaginal anatomy, medical diagrams of the vagina and penis, mentions of sex and packers.

I see a fair amount of posts in trans masc communities asking about pain during sex, using tampons/cups and just generally putting things inside you. Most people on T jump to the assumption it is some kind of side effect, since T can cause dryness. Which is a valid assumtion. But I'm going to hopefully save a bunch of you the confusuion that I had. If dryness isn't the culprit, you may be intersex. NOTE: I am not a doctor, I am just intersex and had to learn how my body worked by myself because no one ever told me. I have this (and likley another variation I'm yet to identify). So all of this comes from firsthand experience and a bunch of crawling through intersex articles.

Vulva hypospadias is an intersex variation where the urethra and uretheral opening are lower than they are meant to be, sometimes fully inside the vaginal canal. Hence making things going inside said canal painful as it is jabbing against, or sometimes even into (depending on your placement) the canal. While it is not a severe variation that casuses any immidate dangers to your health, it can cause some issues just as increasing the risk of UTIs, since bactria from penetration/periods is being caught in the urethra. If you have had a history of UTIs, hypospadias may be the reason. As already stated, pain with penertration can be a sign. And in the case of us trans guys, it can make the use of STP packers nearly impossible (depending on placement) and will be something that has to be taken into account when persuing bottom surgery that re-routes the urethra or closes the vaginal canal.

It can be kind of difficult to see, given how deep inside the vaginal canal the urethera can be, but knowing where yours is can be helpful to know for health and transition reasons. Keep in mind, this variation CAN occlour alongside other variations. If you aren't able to find your urethera at all, there may be another variation at play alonside it. Here are some diagrams to reference.

https://preview.redd.it/od8mlw0sferh1.png?width=250&format=png&auto=webp&s=5750f4f56b818bbaed05b61bfd265a60349168dd

https://preview.redd.it/09t0y3xtferh1.png?width=250&format=png&auto=webp&s=bc270ab35403d1b4474263f6a8b889d2dec4c170

https://preview.redd.it/84z527g7herh1.png?width=250&format=png&auto=webp&s=5d905075b6debaa2b483694a00df17aefe455870

HOW TO CHECK:

*If you have a trusted partner, you can ask them for help. They may be able to see clearer than you can from your position. If you don't be ready to poke around.

1. Good lighting. Have a torch, penlight, set up a lamp, some form of lighting that will let you see clearly.

2. Spread out. Legs, lips, everything. You need to be bale to see your opening and the area above it.

3. If you can't see the urethra in it's typical place below the clit and above the opening, there's your teltale sign. You may have to use a mirror or camera to get a close up view when searching for it deeper inside. You can use your (lubricated) fingers to feel around (be gentle) for any holes or areas that are tender and cause pain to touch. If you have another variation alongside VH such as sleeve hymen, it may be very difficult to get a good look inside at all.

4. If you still can't find anything, pee. I'm not joking. Watch where it comes from, if it is coming from the vaginal canal? Your urethra is definetly in there.

5. If you can't see it at all, don't freak out. That just means it's quite deep inside. The fact you've made it through your whole life being able to pee means the opening IS there and IS allowing wate to exit your body. You'd know pretty damn fast after birth if something was preventing you from peeing at all.

You can always see a medical profesional if you have concerns, and will have to anyway if you are going to get bottom surgery. But that is expensive as hell, hence why I'm writing all this out. Not everyone has the means to get a formal check.

INTERSEX IDENITY

Yes, hypospadias is an intersex variation. One of many. Unfortunetly, the variations that affect the vagina are severly under-researched. When you serach hypospadias, you will find mostly penis variations. Yay for medical sexism! The vagina is under-researched yet again! And throw in intersexism as well! However, what is known is that it isn't one of the rarer intersex variations, and while it can cause complications it won't cause any major health risks on it's own. Weather or not you want to claim the intersex label for yourself is up to you, but by definition of this being 'atypical sex characteristics' it is intersex.

BOTTOM SURGRY

Given the diffrent kinds and your exact desires for which surgery you want, you may not have to worry about it at all. But if you are looking into a surgery that will close the vaginal canal or aims to re-route the urethra into a penis (like phallo or meta), it is something you will have to work out with your surgeon. Closing the vaginal canal with the urethra inside it? You won't be able to pee at all, bad news. It will have to be re-routed if you want your canal closed. If you already wanted a re-route through he penis/bottom growth, that is possible, it just may be more complex than usual since the urethra will have to be closed from inside your canal and re-routed and lengthened outside the canal. If you don't plan on a penis creating bottom surgery, but want something like nullification, the urethera will have to be ajusted so the canal can be closed up but you can still pee.

THE STP ISSUE

Many STP packers are designed with perisex anatomy in mind, and the 'cup' (I guess we'll call it that) doesn't extent far back enough to cover the vaginal canal. Meaning if you try to use one? You'll just end up peeing everywhere. There ARE options though. So if you are looking for STPs, make sure you are getting one with a 'cup' are that extends far back enough to actually catch everything. I haven't tried any, so I can't say which ones work, but if anyone does? Drop it in the comments.

TO WRAP UP:

If you've been having issues with penetration, UTIs, STP packers, and finding your urethra, you may have VH or VH alongside another variation. Congratulations! You are the I as well as the T in the acronym! It is entirely up to you and your transition plans how you handle all this. But don't freak out, there's nothing wrong with you, you're just built diffrent. Be careful with sticking things in yourself, make sure you're clean and healthy down there and if you are looking in to bottom surgery, take your variation into account.

One of the things I hate the most about trans masc spaces is seeing endless posts from people along the lines of "my bf said something iffy" or "my gf doesn't want me getting on T" etc. And they have paragraphs of massive red flags their partner is a chaser or transphobe. I don't blame these people at all, sometimes the red flags are hard to spot when you think you're really in love, have past absue or the partner is a good manipulator. So let me break down some massive red flags and types of chasers to avoid like the plauge.

1. The de-trans chaser.

The most common kind and exactly what it sounds like. They don't see you as a man/masc, and their goal is to de-transition you with the power of their mediocre sex. To "fix" you.

The red flags:

• misgenders/deadnames you to friends and family/behind your back.
• discourages you from going on T, getting surgrey, dressing masc, cutting hair etc.
• sexualises your chest and pre-op organs even if it makes you dysphoric
• has a c*ntboy fetish
• infantalises and feminises you.
• is pushy with sex and kinks that involve you being in a "feminine" roll (calling you things like babygirl, good girl etc)
• doesn't want to be seen with you/treats the relationship like it's a secret.
• If they are in fandom spaces, their only trans masc head canons are for soft, twink-y, feminine boys. If they make their own characters, their only trans masc characters fall under that category too.
• Not always, but usually are more conservative than you are
• Will only partake in PiV sex where you are the bottom (if partner has a penis)
• does not include you in their sexuality (i.e. a man calling himself straight while dating you- a man. He does not see you as a man)

These people get off on the idea of their sex game being so good it "fixes you" or "puts you in your place". Some may also have a saviour complex and see you as a "lost and confused little girl" that needs some hero to come in and "save" them by making you into some submissive tradwife. It's not about liking masculine women, because then they'd just date tomboys. It's spesifically about de-transitioning you.

Also to note for this one in lasbian spaces in partucilar: while trans masc lesbians are a valid thing, not every trans masc attracted to women identifies with lasbian. Some fem lesbians have this detrans fantasy were they "save" trans mascs and "turn them back into butch girls". So do be aware that if you date women, and do NOT idenitfy as a lesbian, to look out for the people who see you/want to keep you as a butch cis woman and not a trans masc. Again trans masc lesbians are a thing and that's completely seprate to this. A cis butch and trans masc are different things and any reasonable person understands that. But there ARE detrans chasers in lesbian spaces that target trans masc lesbians.

2. The "filth" chaser

Less common and much harder to spot. These people are very gender essentialist and fem-supremecists. They view femininty as "good, pure, sweet, holy" etc and masculinity as "gross, barbaric, perverse and unholy". They're harder to spot because they will encourage you to go on T/get surgury etc. But not because they actually see you as a man/masc or love and care for you. It's because they get off on watching a "sweet, innocent, pure" woman become a "corrupted, disgusting, ugly" (fake) man.

The red flags:

• Puts men/mascs down and props women/fems up. Not in a feminist, gender equality way. But in a TERF/TRF-y "man bad, woman good" way.
• Treats feminity as something powerful and divine but masculinity as evil and dangerous.
• Has kinks that sexualise/fetishise filth (wet and messy, sweat, dirt etc). This on its own is fine so long as it's consetually and safely done, no kink shaming here. But when it's paired with everything else, it's a sign they view your masculinity as a disgusting, corrupting, dirty thing to sexualise.
• Pushes you to present in masc ways you don't want to (upping T doses when you don't want to, growing a beard when you don't want to, getting surgrey when you don't want to etc)
• Puts down your feminine side. If you wear a skirt or keep long hair or have a "feminine" interest, they'll go all "are you even trying to pass?" on you.
• Has very ridgid and traditional views on what is and isn't masculine, nitpicks how much you do/don't pass under a traditionally masculine framework.
• misgenders you, because they don't actually see you as a man/masc. They see you as a "fake" man, a girl pretending to be a man for their fantasy.
• In fandom spaces/ OC and writer spaces, their head canons and trans masc OCs are only "conventionally unattractive", fat (theres overlap with fat fetishists and these kinds of people), unhygenic, rude men.

Do not be fooled by their seeming encouragement when they encourage you to transition. They do not see you as a man/masc. They see you as a girl thats has been "corrupted" and "roachified", which is a sexual thing for them. They won't let you become the type of man YOU want to be, but the "fake man" THEY want you to be so they can get off on watching you go from a pure little girl to a flithy man.

3. the "borderline p*do" chaser

Sometimes these people overlap with the de-trans chasers. They are attracted to exclusively young, bareley legal, pre-t, babyfaced trans guys. They infantalise the fuck out of you, don't want you phsycically transitioning because they want to keep you looking young. They go after trans guys in particular either because they're also de-trans chasers, or because young trans guys tend to be more vunerable and easier to manipulate due to lack of life experince, dysphoira/unaccepting community making mental health bad and they to some level think AFAB people are dumber and easier to control.

The red flags:

• discourage you from going on T/getting surgury
• most of the time, are older than you
• want you to keep your lighter pre-t voice, be full body clean shaved, dress and act "cutsie" and feminine when you don't want to.
• infantilise you and treat you like you are dumb, don't know or understand what you want/need.
• these people will prey on age regressors and those who have extra support needs too.
• Never use adult language for you like "man", it's alway "boy". That's if they even gender you correctly at all.
• Push you into dom/sub dynamics where you are the sub when you don't want to (especially age related kinks). Of course, a dom/sub dynamic by itself and done safely with your consent is perfectly fine. This is another one of those things thats only a red flag when it's combined with the rest of the list.
• They typically go for short and smaller breated/hipped people with a softer face too.
• Suspiciously into loli/shota adjacent characters and short femboys. These are the only characters they will HC or write as trans.

These people don't go for you because they actually love you and see you as a grown man. They want the closest thing they can get to a child without actually going for a child. They want a little boy, not a man. And because pre-medical transition guys tend to be softer featured, softer voiced and shorter than cis guys, as well as more vunerable, they make perfect targets for people like this.

4. the femboy/c*ntboy fetishiser chaser

These guys are kind of complicated, because they get off fem/c*ntBOYS so they DO see you as a man to an EXTENT, but to them a fem/c*ntboy and a man are two diffrent things. Just being attracted to feminine men is perfectly fine (we love a feminine guy in this house), but these guys see a man with a vagina as a whole seprate (inherantly sexual) gender/sex that exists as a sexual fantsay and not a real person with a whole idenity and personality outside being a femboy. They often also fetishise intersex people, or at least the fantasy image of what an intersex person is (i.e. boy with a vagina).

The red flags:

• pretty obvious, but has a c*ntboy/femboy/intersex fetish
• mpreg/breeding fetish. Again, one on it's own isn't really an issue, it's the combination of this and the rest of the list that is. Also side note: SUPPOURT TRANS AND INTERSEX PREGNANT MEN OR DIE BY MY SWORD. It is NOT an inherantly sexual, taboo, degrading or feminine thing to carry a child, it is a completely natrual process and part of life for many people.
• discourages you from getting bottom surgery. May also discourage T, wanting no bottom growth on you. But some do fetishise bottom growth. Either way, they will want you to keep your vagina even if you don't want to.
• Forces you to always be the bottom, and do PiV sex even if you don't want to.
• Puts you into the submissive role even if you don't want to.
• Wants you clean shaven, dressed feminine and playing up the femboy stareotype 24/7
• ignores your dysphoria and continues to point out and sexualise features you are uncomfotable with.
• infantilises you.
• over sexualises everything you do/about you
• pushy with sex/kinks you don't want

Basically, while they may view you as boy-adjacent, they don't respect you as a person. You are a sex object to them. You are not a man/masc, you are a "kinky uwu puppy bottom c*ntboy" and nothing else, not a human being whoes gender is more than just boy with a "bonus hole".

In conclusion, know the red flags, call out the red flags in your friends partners, avoid the red flags for yourself. Have standards, have self respect. Even if you yourself are into some kinky shit that involves your gender/body, do not let yourself be treated with disrespect and as an exotic sex pet. Set boundaries, have safe words, talk things out. Dump your chaser transphobe partner.

Green flags in partners of trans guys:

• ALWAYS genders you correctly. Even when you aren't there and corrects others about you. Unless it is a safety situation where you have given explicit permission to be misgendered in front of something like unaccepting family, your partner should ALWAYS gender you correctly and see you as your gender.
• Respects your boundaries. If you say no, they do not push. They immidtaely stop, apologise and move on.
• Respects your dysphoria. If you don't want them touching/mentioning a body part, they won't. No questions asked.
• When it comes to sex, it is ALWAYS done safely with consent and if you need to stop, they stop.
• Let's you do whatever the fuck you want with your transition and body. They have no place to discorage you from T, surgrey, cutting or growing hair, shaving, your chosen pronouns etc. That is YOUR decision and your decision only. They will respect your decision.
• Does not nitpick how well/not well you pass. It shouldn't matter to them, they should love you for you regardless.
• Does not infantilise you or treat you as stupid
• Does not brush off your conerns
• DOES NOT HATE MEN. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. You are a man/masc, those 'kill all men' statements AFFECT YOU. They should not see your identity as a man/masc and masculinity as a whole as a bad thing, nor see you as 'one of the good ones'. Be mad at the PATRIARCHY, not the average ass man that hasn't done anything horrific. And especially not you for being a man/masc.
• Includes you in their sexuality. If a man is dating you, he is not straight. You are a man/masc, he should have space for your gender in his sexuality.
• Supports other trans men/mascs, cares about your rights, fights for you and your brothers.
• And most importantly: shows up for you when you need it. weather it be a phone call on a bad day or at your bedside right after surgrey. They will be there for you through everything you need them for.

LOVE YOURSELF, LOVE YOUR FELLOW TRANS GUY, FUCK CHASERS. CALL THAT SHIT OUT. DUMP YOUR CHASER PARTNER.

I don't know what the fuck just happened, it was literally 10 seconds and it was done. And I don't know what to do. I have kept the ferrets locked away from the dog for weeks now, zero breaches, zero issues. The ferrets are kept in big cages in the back yard, the dog in the house. The cages are always closed and locked whenever the dog is out, and the dog is always inside when the cages are open. We even lock the cages up when people that the ferrets are unfamiliar with come over. They hadn't gone anywhere near each other. But some fucking how, one of them got out, and the dog just shook him to death. It was so fast I didn't even realise what happened for a moment, pulled the dog away and... yeah, dead. Last breaths right before my eyes.

I've had ferrets die before, but only ever of old age or simply just not making it past the first few days after birth. I've never actually witnessed the death, let alone a literal dog attack. I don't know what to do. I'm so mad at the dog, but I know she's just a dog, she doesn't know any better than to hunt for food, and she's never so much as barked at a person before. I'm not sure if I can keep the dog around, her original owner was a friends mum who died, the whole reason I took her is because the friend can't keep her where she lives, but still wants to be able to see the dog. I can't just dump her at a shelter. That's cruel to the friend and the dog. But now I'm going to be scared every time I take the ferrets out that SOMEHOW this will happen again.

I seriously don't know how he got out. I can't see any holes in the cages. And before anyone says, "This is why you don't have any other animals with ferrets." My childhood dog's co-existed with the ferrets for 5 whole years before they both died of old age. They didn't care at all about the ferrets. We kept them separated, and the dogs sniffed the cages maybe once before losing complete interest. Same breed as this dog, too. I know every animal is different, some will have a high prey drive, some won't, even the same breed. And you're not going to know until you see the behaviour. Well, I've definitely seen it now.

I don't know what to do. I feel horrible for my friend who's already lost her mum and can't keep the dog herself. If I give the dog up, she won't be able to see her anymore. But I'm also now very aware of her super high prey drive and the fact it could be dangerous if I let her anywhere near the back door.

Someone sedate me why does insane shit always happen to me.

I danced as a kid but had to stop because my parents divorced and drained their banks on court battles. Admittedly, I was not super great at it as a kid, I was really left out by the rest of the class because I couldn't afford good dance gear and was extremely quiet and "weird". But I still went, I still tried my best because I just genuinely loved ballet. I was so shattered when I had to stop, I always said I'd go back eventually when money was better.

Money did get better, but puberty hit and dysphoria beat the absolute shit out of me my entire teenage life. I knew I wasn't a girl at 14, but I couldn't even think about coming out safely until 18. I kept wanting to go back to dance, but the leotards and skirts gendered roles really made me feel horrible about it. I felt like the one thing I adored had turned on me, I'd literally have dreams about being back in ballet, but as a lean, muscular male dancer.

So now I'm 23, out and on T for 6 years, and surgery is hopefully within the next few years. And that childhood ballet dream is still cooking in my head. 6 year old me is still clawing at the bars of her cage in a tutu, begging to be let out.

I know there's adult classes out there, I know theres been a more inclusive push in recent years, I know men can do pointe, but I'm still very weary. I've heard a lot of horror stories about how trans guys in girl dominated spaced can be treated. Some of them seem deeply personally offended by the fact I "chose the oppressor" or whatever, like I betrayed some kind of unwritten sisterhood. And I know ballet is a very girl dominated space. So, while I'm fine with keeping to myself and not really making friends at classes, I'm still worried I'll get the dirty side eyes and scowls. I'm also afraid of teachers trying to enforce dress codes and refusing to let me wear male gear or putting me into girls' roles just because I used to be one and want to pursue pointe again.

Theres not many options for stuidos where I live (aus), so I'm just kinda hoping, and preying things will be ok. Am I being paranoid? Are there any other trans guy ballet dancers out there? What's it like? Is coming back after so long, and no longer a girl a battle to be respected?

I don't want to crush my childhood dreams, but I'm also very aware of the safety aspect of it as a trans guy.

Be brutally honest. Do I give up on this and save myself potential harm, or is there a chance it could work out with minimal issues?