u/SisterAntistita

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JYNX: "Hey eberybuddy! Iz yoo habin a gud tyme?!?"

*CROWD: Yeah!*

JYNX: "Ai can no heer yoo!!" *Puts a paw to herms ear*

*CROWD: YEAH!!!*

JYNX: "ALRITE!"

"Nows, fur deh final song ob mine set, wif yoor halp, it's gonna be EPIK!!"

"Cans ai cownt on yoo awl ta halp?!?"

*CROWD: YEAH!!*

JYNX: "OKAY!"

"Dis wut ai need yoo ta do...

Yoo awl gonna halp sing deh 'opera' part ob deh song!"

"Post pikchures ob yooself singin (pick one each time, so post lots!):"

• LET HERM GOOOO!

• OWTSIDE!!

• NO! WE WILL NOT LET YOO GO!!!

• WE WILL NOT LET MEW GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!!!!

- & -

• "Deh greeblez hab

beddur put der sites on meee!

On meeeee!

ON MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

JYNX: "OKAY?? LES DO DIS!!!"

(To deh tune ob Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen)

🎶🎶🎶🎶

[Intro]

Is dis deh reel life? Or izit fantasee?

Horked uppa hairball, mom stepped in ans mad at mewee

Open yur eyes, look up ta deh cowntur an' seeee...

Iz jus a poor void, ai needz no sympafy,

'Cuz Iz easy comb, eazy go,

Jump reel hi, stalk reel low

Sittin in deh winnow dudn't really mattur ta meeeee...

ta-uh me...

🎶🎶

[Ballad Section]

🎹🎶🎵🎶🎹🎶

Meowmy, why yoo still in bed,

Ai been yowlin in yur ear

But yoo sleep an ai not fed!

Meowmeee, mine nap had jus beguuuun,

But neow ai gone an' frew it awl awaaay...

Meowmeee, oooo-oooo-ooooh,

Didunt mean ta mak yoo sigh,

If ai not bak for treets dis timb tamorrow,

Carry onnnn, carry on,

coz deh Churu reelly matterrr...

🎹🎶🎵🎶🎹

Too layte, mine timb haz comb,

Sen shibburs up mine spine

Cos ai starbin awl deh ty-yime

Goodbye ta dis ole fud

Is gots ta gooooo!

Gotta leeb it awl behin

An replaaayce wif newwwww !

Meowmeeee, ooo- oo- oo-oooooo,

Ai don wanna wayte

Sumtimez ai wish ai hadz yoo bettur tra-ayned!

Carry on, carry onnnn

Cuz deh Churu reely matturrrs...

🎶🎵🎶🎵

[Operatic Section]

Ai see a little shilhouetto ob a bug,

Scaramouse, Scaramouse, will yoo do de pounce-dango?

Funnderbolt an' litening, bery bery fritening Mew!

(Meowilayo) Meowilayo! Meowilayo Figaro—magnifico-oh-oh-oh-oh

Iz jus a poor cat, nobody lubs mew,

(Herms jus a poor cat wif a empty fud bowl)

(Spare herm dis life from deh Portia Comtrol)!

🎵🎶🎹🎵🎶

Eezy comb, eezy go

Will yoo let mew go?

🎊🎵[DIS YUR PART!!]🎵🎊

Owtsiiiiide! (NO! We will not let yoo go!)

Let herm gooooooo! (Owtside!) (NO! We will not let yoo go!)

Lemme goooooo! (We will not let yoo go!)

Lemme goooooo! (We will not let yoo go!)

Let mew go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Oh mamamia! Mamamia! Mamamia letz me go!

🎵🎊[ALL TOGEDDER NOW!]🎊🎵

Deh greeblez hab

beddur put der sites on meee!

On meeeee!

ON MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

[Rock Section]

🎸🎵🎶🎵🎸

So yoo fink yoo can bafe me an' shampoo in mine eye?!

So yoo fink yoo can trim all mine claws an' leeb me ta driiiii- ii- iy?!

Oh, baybee, can no do dis ta mew, baybee!

Jus gotta get owt, jus gotta get rite owtta heer!

🎵🎶🎵🎶

[Outro]

Nuffin' but Churu matturs, anywun can see,

Nuffin' but Churu matturs...

Nuffin' but Churu matturs.....

ta meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew...

....Any way deh win blows...

....

🎶

🐾

Hemmo awl you bootiful frens!

Jiggy and I work very very hard to do awl da mixings and bakings so now we has a huge yummy buffey for you to enjoy!!!

Step rite up and serb youself! Enjoy da tastee treats and feel few to let us knowed what you like best!

Is gud to eat da snacks an discuss what you plan to do during big partee festibul nex week!

Happee October!

(Whether your fren performed it yesterday or you’re even trying to work on one now, or even DooeyH’s from last week, put it in the comments, with the pic of them singing it or not, up to you. I was so blown away by how creative you all were and some came in late or got buried in comments and I think everyone should get to see them! I would compile them myself, but I would be afraid I would miss someone’s and would feel terrible.

Picture of Miss Jynx for attention, and her version was incredible!)

Hi frens, iz Jynx. Mine meowmy iz habing a big depress, an says herms need a kitteh dopameen fix, wuteber dat meens.

So pleeze shar yoor cyootest pikshurs ob yoo az illegal smols or smols dat aren't illegal!

Ai post onez ob mineself too, but firs heers mine sisfur Coraline! Ai post herms firs acos herms jus SO CYOOT❤️🥰! Deh ober illegal smol iz a fostur kitteh dat meowmy took care ob befur herms gotted me.

Fanks in abvance fur yur halp!! ❤️❤️❤️

🖤Jynx

Hai frens,

Iz haz big, big worree! Iz cawt an accidenly merdered a hummy birb yesserday! Meowmy didn't yell at mineself, but! Herms *did * cry an sayd, "On noes, Jynx! Wut hab yoo dun??!" 😢

Iz a gud kitteh! I noes meen to hurt deh littel birb, Iz jus wanted ta play!' Does ai needz a pawyer?? Iz mineself goin ta prizzen??

Halp, frens!

🖤Jynx

❤️🖤❤️Iz Jynx, Queen ob Hartz, an taker ob HEDZ!❤️🖤❤️

Dis be KKMG Inbestigate Repawrter, Duncan, wif da top story dis owr. We remind owr audiens ob de recent disappeer ob fren Hoku, fren Nalu, 'n dere Meowma, affta de bery confuzzled daes wen Hoku wuz sed ta be doin a starb. Hoku hab complain bout his meowma refuse ta feed him eggsies. Him wuz shur meoma wuz maykin hims do a starb.

De nekst ting we heered frum fren Goldie sisfur wuz dat herm inbestigashun finded ebidens ob de inbolbment ob aliyuns. It den be suspect dat aliyuns hab do abduct ob de tew cattos 'n dere meowma.

A massib hunt fur de free ob dem wuz mounted, wif meny frens im on de serch effert. Affta sebral daes, a frenlee aliyun sed mind control wuz suspect.

Werld-wide protesses demanded de return ob de missin frens 'n dere meowma. Beeg crowds ob cattos, doggos, gimme pigs 'n odder adjacent frens gathered wif sines cryin out fur de release ob dem wuz mounted trio.

Frens Smuffi 'n odders finded dem, 'n did an apprehend ob de criminal aliyun, takin hims ta space jayl. Dis wuz follad by sellabrashuns awl ober, eben otrb. Grace welkimd frens ta herm bar, Ellie opened herm cafe, Applejack bake up meny lubly treetos 'n pawrtees were held ta mark de happi occashun. 'N Hoku wuz treeted ta moar eggsies dan him culd eat.

We choin wif assorted frens awl ober de werld to hail de brave Smuffi 'n hims frens hoo brot an end to de mysterius happenins.

Fren Hoku, Nalu, 'n dere meowma be restin at home ta recober frum da tryin ebents.

Dis storee hab bin inbestigate by dis repawrter wif de assist ob de Goldie sisfur 'n odders. Any errors be main. Photo artwerk curtesy ob u/SisterAntistita

--30--

Good ebening frens, iz Jynx wif a speshul innerview wif a bery speshul gimme piggy.

Wif deh assis ob deh golden pikkel, Jiggy, deh alwayz helpful, alwayz cheery, actibity plannur for deh OTRB folks, stoppeded by owr stoodio ta have a chat.

Dis innerview tooked playce afore the ebents ob las week, but deh endeering charm, an upliftin purrsinality dat iz Jiggy iz timeless. Ai hopez yoo emjoy.

*Cut to innerview tape*

Henlo Jiggy! Fank yoo so much fur joining uz todai! Culd yoo innerduce yooself fur owr viewrs not ober teh bridge?

JIGGY: Fanks yoo fur habin me, Fren Jynx! Iz an honor! I iz Jigsaw, the gimmee piggy, but all meez frens call me Jiggy. Befor comins OTRB, I libbed wif my mommy and workeded in a skool. I had lotsa frens who lubbed to gib me pets, and neow I lik to take cares ob my frens heer

Henlo an gud ebening, iz Jynx wif a follow-up to owr repawtin on teh massive kitteh and alliez protess dat happen a few furebers ago. Some of owr live pikchures were losted in deh tranzmishun, soz we wan to share wif yoo, deh viewur, moar facez ob protess an commoonitee.

Dis haz been a KKMG SPESHUL REPAWT UPDAYTE 🖤Jynx, KKMG Wes Coast News Desk

Gud ebening, iz Jynx, wif a KKMG Speshul Repawt. Az manee knoe, yesserday waz a huge newz day, wif Prince Hoku an himbs fambly sabed frum deh aliuns an deh ebil Porshia Comtrol. Wez hab more on dat layter.

Frens turneded owt in rekord numbers yesserday to protess on behaff ob Hoku an all kitteh an alliez rites. Ritez to hab eggies. Ritez to be free frum Portia Comtrol. Ritez fur 3am zoomies. Demans fur dese ritez an more waz on dizplay round deh werld, AND alzo over deh rainbow bridge.

Layter, via deh golden pikkel, ai haz a sit-down chat with Jiggy, the primary organizzer over deh bridge, so stay tooned fur dat.

But fur meow, let's take a momen to recogniz dese faces ob protess, ob comoonity, an knoe dat wares dere comoonity , dere iz alwais hope.

Dis haz been 🖤Jynx at deh KKMG Wes Coast News Desk, wif a Speshul Repawt.

Psspss: If deh producerz oberlooked anybuddyz pikchure, we sincerely pologize.

Pleeze let uz knoe an we will do a fallow-up Repawt (gif).

Frens, dere be big protess tomorrow all over dey erff and on deh udder side ob deh bridge. Wez will hab repurrters in deh field, so post or dm yur protest pic, name an a quote, along wif locashun, so we can put yoo on deh news!

🖤Jynx, KKMG NEWS

I KNOW dis da same guy! He sewwing da onions??

Somfang weerd iss heppinin in owr Yoo Ess Passific Norff Wess! We don kno wat yet, butt! lemmee eggsplane!

Yew may rememba we recently stortit owr furrst innergalactic dibision ob SSoR.... We met da Petroniyums who ben bisitin owr planit furra lonk tym! Butt! I wuz furrst spayss eggsplorer tew mek it tew Petroniya. (Wall, dere iss som kwestchun bowt dat - butt! das baside de point!)

Inna pitchur, yew sees mee Smuffi the wildcat an fren Maya u/Charivari8 owr Innergalactic Smuffi Skool ob Retrayn Spayss Pawfessur, tawkin tew som owr Petroniyum frens - das Spax inna frunt an Blum, owr Petroniya Hisstery Pawfessur. We meetin in da nyew iSSoR brake rum (furry comfy) tew discuss som fangs dey has notiss wile eggsplorin owr planit Eerff!

Maya an I don kno qwite wat tew fink ob it yet! Maya moasst soopryze as yew kin sees!

Dey seys iss pawsabull som nuddur ailliyums - or eben sombuddy elts we dursnt kno bowt yet - haff been dewin menny weerd fangs in da NW Yoo Ess coassstul regions! I kno, iss hard tew tell, wiff da hoomons ackin weerd awl de tym, butt! dere iss repurrts ob boff hoomons an kittehs beyin affectit!

Som may eben bee - tuk ober an dun a mine comtrol on! I kno! Issa shokin ideya!

Anna cows beyin affeck, tew - das purrty grewsom an we nowt shurr iss relaytit, sew we nowt go intew it yet! Plus de corns geddin sqwish in circulurr patturns... Furry strandg!

We at de furry beginnin stayjiss ob traiyin tew lern moarr, sew iff yew has moarr infurmashun.... Yew let mee kno! An iff yew has kwestchuns, we will trai tew gets Blum an Spax tew chek intew it moarr! Or mebbee dey awreddy kno de ansa an we jess dint fink ob de kwestchun yet!

Enny kittehs in da Passificc Norff Eess Yoo Ess dat has enny repurrts ob weerd acktibbitty, yew comtack us tew!

Okey! Dass awl fur nyow!

Henlo eberywun, iz Jynx wif KkMG News. In deh stormin comtrobersee an qwestshuns surroundin Prince Hoku latelee, deres one kitteh deeply affeckted an worried fur herms hubbant, an that's Prinsess Miso.

Teh Prinsess grayshushly say down fur an innerview wif mineself in deh KKMG Wes Coast stoodio.

Fank yoo fur bein heer Prinsess. Ai knoe fings hab been ruff fur yoo latelee.

Miso: Iz okay. *sniffs* fanks fur habin me.