Hai frens,
Iz haz big, big worree! Iz cawt an accidenly merdered a hummy birb yesserday! Meowmy didn't yell at mineself, but! Herms *did * cry an sayd, "On noes, Jynx! Wut hab yoo dun??!" 😢
Iz a gud kitteh! I noes meen to hurt deh littel birb, Iz jus wanted ta play!' Does ai needz a pawyer?? Iz mineself goin ta prizzen??
Halp, frens!
🖤Jynx
❤️🖤❤️Iz Jynx, Queen ob Hartz, an taker ob HEDZ!❤️🖤❤️
Dis be KKMG Inbestigate Repawrter, Duncan, wif da top story dis owr. We remind owr audiens ob de recent disappeer ob fren Hoku, fren Nalu, 'n dere Meowma, affta de bery confuzzled daes wen Hoku wuz sed ta be doin a starb. Hoku hab complain bout his meowma refuse ta feed him eggsies. Him wuz shur meoma wuz maykin hims do a starb.
De nekst ting we heered frum fren Goldie sisfur wuz dat herm inbestigashun finded ebidens ob de inbolbment ob aliyuns. It den be suspect dat aliyuns hab do abduct ob de tew cattos 'n dere meowma.
A massib hunt fur de free ob dem wuz mounted, wif meny frens im on de serch effert. Affta sebral daes, a frenlee aliyun sed mind control wuz suspect.
Werld-wide protesses demanded de return ob de missin frens 'n dere meowma. Beeg crowds ob cattos, doggos, gimme pigs 'n odder adjacent frens gathered wif sines cryin out fur de release ob dem wuz mounted trio.
Frens Smuffi 'n odders finded dem, 'n did an apprehend ob de criminal aliyun, takin hims ta space jayl. Dis wuz follad by sellabrashuns awl ober, eben otrb. Grace welkimd frens ta herm bar, Ellie opened herm cafe, Applejack bake up meny lubly treetos 'n pawrtees were held ta mark de happi occashun. 'N Hoku wuz treeted ta moar eggsies dan him culd eat.
We choin wif assorted frens awl ober de werld to hail de brave Smuffi 'n hims frens hoo brot an end to de mysterius happenins.
Fren Hoku, Nalu, 'n dere meowma be restin at home ta recober frum da tryin ebents.
Dis storee hab bin inbestigate by dis repawrter wif de assist ob de Goldie sisfur 'n odders. Any errors be main. Photo artwerk curtesy ob u/SisterAntistita
--30--
Good ebening frens, iz Jynx wif a speshul innerview wif a bery speshul gimme piggy.
Wif deh assis ob deh golden pikkel, Jiggy, deh alwayz helpful, alwayz cheery, actibity plannur for deh OTRB folks, stoppeded by owr stoodio ta have a chat.
Dis innerview tooked playce afore the ebents ob las week, but deh endeering charm, an upliftin purrsinality dat iz Jiggy iz timeless. Ai hopez yoo emjoy.
*Cut to innerview tape*
Henlo Jiggy! Fank yoo so much fur joining uz todai! Culd yoo innerduce yooself fur owr viewrs not ober teh bridge?
JIGGY: Fanks yoo fur habin me, Fren Jynx! Iz an honor! I iz Jigsaw, the gimmee piggy, but all meez frens call me Jiggy. Befor comins OTRB, I libbed wif my mommy and workeded in a skool. I had lotsa frens who lubbed to gib me pets, and neow I lik to take cares ob my frens heer
Henlo an gud ebening, iz Jynx wif a follow-up to owr repawtin on teh massive kitteh and alliez protess dat happen a few furebers ago. Some of owr live pikchures were losted in deh tranzmishun, soz we wan to share wif yoo, deh viewur, moar facez ob protess an commoonitee.
Dis haz been a KKMG SPESHUL REPAWT UPDAYTE 🖤Jynx, KKMG Wes Coast News Desk
Gud ebening, iz Jynx, wif a KKMG Speshul Repawt. Az manee knoe, yesserday waz a huge newz day, wif Prince Hoku an himbs fambly sabed frum deh aliuns an deh ebil Porshia Comtrol. Wez hab more on dat layter.
Frens turneded owt in rekord numbers yesserday to protess on behaff ob Hoku an all kitteh an alliez rites. Ritez to hab eggies. Ritez to be free frum Portia Comtrol. Ritez fur 3am zoomies. Demans fur dese ritez an more waz on dizplay round deh werld, AND alzo over deh rainbow bridge.
Layter, via deh golden pikkel, ai haz a sit-down chat with Jiggy, the primary organizzer over deh bridge, so stay tooned fur dat.
But fur meow, let's take a momen to recogniz dese faces ob protess, ob comoonity, an knoe dat wares dere comoonity , dere iz alwais hope.
Dis haz been 🖤Jynx at deh KKMG Wes Coast News Desk, wif a Speshul Repawt.
Psspss: If deh producerz oberlooked anybuddyz pikchure, we sincerely pologize.
Pleeze let uz knoe an we will do a fallow-up Repawt (gif).
Frens, dere be big protess tomorrow all over dey erff and on deh udder side ob deh bridge. Wez will hab repurrters in deh field, so post or dm yur protest pic, name an a quote, along wif locashun, so we can put yoo on deh news!
🖤Jynx, KKMG NEWS
KKMG Speshul Newz Updayte: Applejack(AJ), Jamez Beerd an Mewlleur Ouvrier de France Pâtissier awardz winnin pastry chef an biznesscat, haz gottn purrsunallee inbolved in deh missin an starbin Prince Hoku crysis.
AJ, whoo iz cloze frens wif deh royal cupple, haz jurneyed ta Seeaddle, Washuntun ta hopesfullee find deh missin hamsum sunnavagun an end Prinsess Miso's big worree.
Wut follows is herm updaytes on herms attemps in dis endevvor:
Henlo frens, iz Jynx wif a speshul news updayte. Dere haz been anudder post by deh starbin prince, Butt! Is awthintisitty iz unner qwestshun. Who iz steelin hiz identtitty? Whob stoled deh Prince?? Where iz himbs, Reely??
We comtinyoo ta serch fur answrs. Stay tooned ta KKMG fur impawtent updaytes.
🖤 Jynx, KKMG NEWS
Henlo frens, iz Jynx wif KKMG News. In lite ob deh planneded protes happinin r/otrb an elzeware thurzday, we iz re-airing dis Speshul News Repurrt on deh Eggies Fur Hoku/ Eggies Fur Ebery Cat moobment.
Stay tooned ta KKMG fur awl deh news dat matturs. Dis ben 🖤 Jynx, KKMG News, U.S. Wes Coast Byurrow
Somfang weerd iss heppinin in owr Yoo Ess Passific Norff Wess! We don kno wat yet, butt! lemmee eggsplane!
Yew may rememba we recently stortit owr furrst innergalactic dibision ob SSoR.... We met da Petroniyums who ben bisitin owr planit furra lonk tym! Butt! I wuz furrst spayss eggsplorer tew mek it tew Petroniya. (Wall, dere iss som kwestchun bowt dat - butt! das baside de point!)
Inna pitchur, yew sees mee Smuffi the wildcat an fren Maya u/Charivari8 owr Innergalactic Smuffi Skool ob Retrayn Spayss Pawfessur, tawkin tew som owr Petroniyum frens - das Spax inna frunt an Blum, owr Petroniya Hisstery Pawfessur. We meetin in da nyew iSSoR brake rum (furry comfy) tew discuss som fangs dey has notiss wile eggsplorin owr planit Eerff!
Maya an I don kno qwite wat tew fink ob it yet! Maya moasst soopryze as yew kin sees!
Dey seys iss pawsabull som nuddur ailliyums - or eben sombuddy elts we dursnt kno bowt yet - haff been dewin menny weerd fangs in da NW Yoo Ess coassstul regions! I kno, iss hard tew tell, wiff da hoomons ackin weerd awl de tym, butt! dere iss repurrts ob boff hoomons an kittehs beyin affectit!
Som may eben bee - tuk ober an dun a mine comtrol on! I kno! Issa shokin ideya!
Anna cows beyin affeck, tew - das purrty grewsom an we nowt shurr iss relaytit, sew we nowt go intew it yet! Plus de corns geddin sqwish in circulurr patturns... Furry strandg!
We at de furry beginnin stayjiss ob traiyin tew lern moarr, sew iff yew has moarr infurmashun.... Yew let mee kno! An iff yew has kwestchuns, we will trai tew gets Blum an Spax tew chek intew it moarr! Or mebbee dey awreddy kno de ansa an we jess dint fink ob de kwestchun yet!
Enny kittehs in da Passificc Norff Eess Yoo Ess dat has enny repurrts ob weerd acktibbitty, yew comtack us tew!
Okey! Dass awl fur nyow!
Henlo eberywun, iz Jynx wif KkMG News. In deh stormin comtrobersee an qwestshuns surroundin Prince Hoku latelee, deres one kitteh deeply affeckted an worried fur herms hubbant, an that's Prinsess Miso.
Teh Prinsess grayshushly say down fur an innerview wif mineself in deh KKMG Wes Coast stoodio.
Fank yoo fur bein heer Prinsess. Ai knoe fings hab been ruff fur yoo latelee.
Miso: Iz okay. *sniffs* fanks fur habin me.
Dis jus in: Dere been protes all ober dey wurl todai in suppawt ob dey #EggiesfurHoku moobment. Dis grassroots uprizin ob cattos an alliez appeers to be growin by deh howers.
Wez wuz on dey seen to speek wid one ob deh mane organizers ob dey moobment, fren Olaf u/No_Sense3670, who had dis to say:
(Cut to video of fren Olaf)
"Ai stand by mah fren Hoku an him need fur eggies!
Ai no like eggies mineownself, butt Hoku do an him ask so politely.
It just sad him was denied because ob onions."
(end of clip)
Dems wize werds, fren, an it seems like dis deh sennamint ob mos protesturrs.
We'll hab mor az dey storee debelops.
Dis been 🖤 Jynx, Wes Coast an Celebratee Repurrter, wif a KKMG News Update📸
Braking Mews: Hoku's Meowmy Admits Starbin Hamsum Sunnavagun!
Inna statemen todai ( https://www.reddit.com/r/legalcatadvice/s/f40EawHA3Z), Hoku's Meowmy (u/jellosquid808) tryed to do sum dambage comtrol, an jushissfy herms starbin ob deh belubbed prince by blamin dey omions. Herms alzo amitted dat herms inbited deh ebil "Porshun Comtrol" inna hawse, an dey collaburrate on steelin Hoku's fud at ebery meel. Manee cattos ar stunned by dis admishun, and dis may hab onlee energizeded dey Eggies fur Hoku mobement. Wez hab mor az dey storee debelops.
Dis been 🖤 Jynx, KKMG Wes Coast an Celebratee Repurrter 📸
Sawry, Iz waz wif mai woodlan frens!
🖤Jynx, Pawrencess of the Void Floofs
Dis Braking News: Prince Hoku, well-knowd Hamsum Sunnavagun an deh elebenty billyunair ownur ob Hoku Airlimes, haz been forced to STARB by himbs meowmy in a case of no share deh eggies, eben tho himb askeded politelee! We iz ankshuslee awating werd dat dey Primce will surbibe, an will keep yoo updaded az deh storee debelops!
Dis haz been 🖤Jynx, U.S. Wes Coast an Celebratee Repurrter fur KKMG Mews📸