I'm 22 yo girl nheb nemchi k cairokee w shabi eli nkolou ykoli kezza wmaandich flous donc ken fam ay cairokee fan hne wkas wyheb yemchi I'll be glad to add them on social and we discuss kifech nemchiw
I'm the betrayer in this case I ruined the friendship because I didn't defend my friend's back when someone was talking about the situation that happened with her badly but I apologized and tried to fix things by going to the same person and defending because at the first time I remained neutral saying everyone has its own way of dealing with things and there are so many types of people when the other talked about my friend saying that she was childish for not wanting to answer the phone
J'ai consulté chat gpt il m'a dit que non mais moi je savais que sa réponse peut-être manipulée
Can a 5-year friendship be repaired after two breaches of trust? I need an honest perspective.
I'm looking for advice about a friendship that ended recently. I'll call my best friend A and our mutual friend B to keep everyone anonymous.
A and I were best friends for almost five years. We were extremely close, and I genuinely loved her and considered her like a sister. B was also a mutual friend of ours.
The situation is complicated because A and B already had a conflict about two years ago, and I was involved in the circumstances surrounding it.
At that time, A and B had a conflict over something that happened between them. A was very hurt and decided to cut B off immediately. During the conflict and afterward, B also said some negative things about A, which obviously made the situation worse and contributed to A feeling betrayed and hurt.
However, the situation wasn't entirely one-sided. B was also genuinely hurt by what had happened. At one point, B had been ready to go out with us, but A and I kept her waiting and weren't answering her calls. From B's perspective, she felt ignored and disrespected. So both people had their own reasons for feeling hurt, and the conflict became complicated.
After that conflict, I found myself stuck between two people I cared about. I didn't know how to handle the situation properly. I wanted A and B to eventually reconcile, and I didn't want to choose sides or make the conflict worse.
Before the first major incident involving me and A, I actually ghosted A for around four months. I know this was wrong. Instead of communicating properly about whatever I was feeling at the time, I withdrew and avoided her. Looking back, I realize that this was an unhealthy way of dealing with conflict and probably hurt her and damaged the trust between us.
After those four months, I saw A again and said hello to her.
Later, I was talking with B. During the conversation, B made a dismissive and somewhat mocking comment about A. She basically asked me whether A had even said hello to me properly or kissed me when I saw her.
I answered "no" and laughed.
A eventually heard about this conversation.
From A's perspective, this looked extremely disloyal. She had just seen me again after four months of being ghosted by me, and then she found out that I had been talking with B, who had already had a serious conflict with her, and that I had laughed when B made a dismissive comment about her.
A interpreted this as me agreeing with B, participating in talking behind her back, and failing to defend her.
I want to make something clear: I did not initiate a conversation to insult A. I did not intentionally try to humiliate her, spread rumors about her, or damage her reputation. My intention was not to betray her.
But I now understand that my reaction was still wrong.
I should have stopped the conversation or immediately made it clear that I didn't accept someone speaking about A that way. Instead, I laughed and answered the way I did. I can understand why A saw that as disloyalty, especially given the history between her and B.
A told me very clearly that she couldn't be friends with someone who talked behind her back.
I apologized, and we continued our friendship.
I genuinely believed I had learned from the situation.
However, looking back, I realize that I had a serious problem with conflict avoidance. I was constantly trying to keep everyone happy and avoid upsetting anyone. I thought that being "neutral" was the mature thing to do, but I now understand that there are situations where staying neutral can actually hurt someone you love.
I also didn't have a mature understanding of loyalty. I thought loyalty meant treating everyone equally and avoiding conflict. I didn't fully understand that loyalty also means protecting someone's privacy, respecting their boundaries, and speaking up when someone is being unfair or disrespectful toward them.
Time passed, and later another conflict happened involving A and B.
This time, A explicitly told me twice not to talk about her with B.
I eventually mentioned A's name to B anyway.
Again, I want to explain the context without using it as an excuse.
I wasn't trying to gossip about A, insult her, spread rumors, or make B hate her. I mentioned A because I was explaining why I had been distant and because, deep down, I still hoped that A and B could eventually reconcile.
But I now understand that my intention doesn't erase the fact that I crossed a boundary.
A had specifically asked me not to talk about her with B, and I did it anyway.
From A's perspective, this was especially painful because she had already explained to me after the first incident that talking about her behind her back was a serious boundary for her. So even though the circumstances and my intentions were different, she probably felt that I had repeated the same kind of betrayal after she had already given me a chance.
This time, the friendship ended.
A blocked me everywhere, and some of our mutual friends also unfollowed me. Her close friends strongly support her, and I've even been told that they wouldn't want A to come back to me even if A herself wanted to.
I understand why they are protective of her. From their perspective, they saw someone they care about get hurt and they probably believe they're protecting her from being hurt again.
I've spent the past months reflecting on everything that happened.
I realized that I have a lot of things I need to work on in myself.
I have been conflict-avoidant. I have ghosted people instead of communicating. I've tried too hard to please everyone. I've struggled to set boundaries. I've sometimes stayed neutral when I should have spoken up. I've also realized that I had an immature understanding of what loyalty means in a close friendship.
I don't believe I was intentionally malicious toward A. I genuinely loved her and wanted the best for her. But I now understand that loving someone doesn't automatically mean that you know how to be a good friend to them.
My intentions were not bad, but my actions still hurt her.
I deeply regret what happened, especially because I know that A had already told me after the first incident how she felt about this kind of behavior, and I still made another mistake later.
I don't want to minimize her pain or make myself the victim.
At the same time, I genuinely miss her. She was my best friend for almost five years, and losing her has been extremely painful for me. I still love her and care about her deeply.
I don't want to force myself back into her life. I don't want to violate her boundaries again or repeatedly contact her if she doesn't want me to.
What I want to know is whether reconciliation is ever possible in a situation like this.
If someone has been given a second chance, then makes another mistake involving the same person and the same general issue of loyalty and boundaries, can trust ever be rebuilt?
Is this the kind of situation where a friendship is permanently beyond repair, or can enough time, genuine personal growth, and accountability sometimes change things?
I know I cannot control whether A ever wants me back in her life. I also understand that I may have to accept that the friendship is over.
But I wonder whether there is ever a healthy way to leave the door open for reconciliation without pressuring the other person.
If you were in A's position, would you consider this an unforgivable betrayal, or would you see it as serious mistakes caused by conflict avoidance, immaturity, and poor boundaries that could potentially be worked on over time?
I would really appreciate honest opinions, including criticism. I'm not looking for people to tell me I'm innocent. I want to understand whether I genuinely have a chance of repairing what I broke, or whether the healthiest thing I can do is accept that I lost this friendship and focus on becoming a better person regardless of whether A ever sees that change.
I need advice about a friendship breakup because I feel like people misunderstand what actually happened when I explain it briefly.
My best friend of almost 5 years and I ended our friendship after a series of situations involving another mutual friend. I want to be clear that I'm not trying to justify my behavior or make myself the victim. I know I made mistakes, and I take responsibility for them. I'm just trying to explain the situation accurately because people often hear "betrayal" and assume I intentionally spread rumors or maliciously talked badly about my best friend, which isn't what happened.
To understand the situation, there was already history between my best friend and this mutual friend. About two years ago, they had a conflict over something that happened between them. My best friend decided to cut the other person off immediately. During that period, the other friend also said some negative things about my best friend, which obviously contributed to the tension and made my best friend feel hurt and betrayed.
However, the situation wasn't completely one-sided. The other friend was also hurt by what had happened. At one point, she had been ready to go out with us, but we kept her waiting and weren't answering her calls. From her perspective, she felt ignored and disrespected. So there were hurt feelings on both sides, and I was caught in the middle of a friendship conflict that had already become complicated.
Before the first major conflict involving me, I actually ghosted my best friend for around four months. Looking back, I know that was unhealthy and unfair. Instead of communicating properly when I was struggling, I withdrew and avoided the situation. After those four months, I saw her again and greeted her.
Later, I was talking to the other mutual friend. During that conversation, she made a dismissive comment about my best friend, basically asking me in a mocking way whether my best friend had even said hello to me properly or kissed me. I answered "no" and laughed.
My best friend eventually heard that conversation. From her perspective, she had just seen me again after four months of not speaking, and then I went and laughed with someone who was making a disrespectful comment about her. She interpreted my reaction as me agreeing with the other person and being disloyal to her. She felt that I was participating in talking behind her back.
I want to clarify that I did NOT initiate the conversation about her, I did NOT insult her, and I did NOT intend to humiliate or attack her. But I understand that I still handled the situation badly. I should have immediately stopped the conversation or defended her instead of laughing and answering the way I did.
I was extremely conflict-avoidant and afraid of upsetting people. Because these two people had already had a serious conflict, I was constantly trying to remain neutral and keep peace between everyone. But I now understand that staying neutral doesn't mean staying silent when someone you love is being disrespected.
My best friend told me very clearly that she couldn't be friends with someone who talked behind her back. I apologized, and we continued our friendship. I genuinely believed I had understood what I had done wrong and that I wouldn't repeat the same mistake.
Later, there was another conflict involving the same mutual friend. This time, my best friend explicitly asked me twice not to talk about her with this person. I eventually mentioned my best friend's name anyway.
Again, I want to be very clear: I wasn't trying to gossip about her, insult her, or damage her reputation. I mentioned her because I was explaining why I had been distant and because I still hoped that the two of them could eventually reconcile. But I understand now that this doesn't excuse what I did. My best friend had specifically asked me not to bring her up, and I crossed that boundary.
This second incident was especially painful for her because she had already told me after the first situation how important this boundary was to her. So even though my intentions were different, from her perspective it probably felt like I had repeated the same kind of betrayal.
After that, she completely ended the friendship. She blocked me everywhere, and some mutual friends also unfollowed me. Her close friends strongly support her and have told me that they don't want her to come back to me, even if she ever wanted to.
I've spent the past months reflecting on everything. I realized that my biggest problems were not that I wanted to hurt my friend or secretly wanted to betray her. My problems were that I was extremely conflict-avoidant, I ghosted instead of communicating, I tried to please everyone, I didn't know how to set healthy boundaries, and I didn't understand that sometimes staying "neutral" can itself hurt someone you love.
I also realized that I had a very immature understanding of loyalty. I thought that being a good friend meant avoiding conflict with everyone and treating both sides equally. Now I understand that loyalty doesn't mean blindly taking someone's side; it means being honest, protecting their privacy, respecting their boundaries, and speaking up when someone is being unfair or disrespectful toward them.
I deeply regret my actions. I know that my intentions don't erase the impact they had on my best friend. I also know that I was given a chance after the first incident, and the fact that I made another mistake later makes the situation much more serious.
But my question is: Does making serious mistakes in a friendship necessarily mean reconciliation is impossible forever?
I don't want to force my way back into her life. I don't want to violate her boundaries again or pressure her to forgive me. I want to genuinely work on myself and become a healthier, more loyal, and more emotionally mature person.
If someone has been deeply hurt by you and has completely cut you off, but you genuinely understand what you did wrong and are willing to change, is there ever a possibility that, after enough time, they could become open to reconciliation? Or once someone has been hurt twice, is the friendship permanently beyond repair?
I know I can't control whether she ever comes back. I just want to know whether people have experienced situations where a friendship seemed completely over, but after years of growth, forgiveness and maturity, the two people eventually found their way back to each other.
I need advice about a friendship breakup because I feel like people misunderstand what actually happened when I explain it briefly.
My best friend of almost 5 years and I ended our friendship after a series of situations involving another mutual friend. I want to be clear that I'm not trying to justify my behavior or make myself the victim. I know I made mistakes, and I take responsibility for them. I'm just trying to explain the situation accurately because people often hear "betrayal" and assume I intentionally spread rumors or maliciously talked badly about my best friend, which isn't what happened.
To understand the situation, there was already history between my best friend and this mutual friend. About two years ago, they had a conflict over something that happened between them. My best friend decided to cut the other person off immediately. During that period, the other friend also said some negative things about my best friend, which obviously contributed to the tension and made my best friend feel hurt and betrayed.
However, the situation wasn't completely one-sided. The other friend was also hurt by what had happened. At one point, she had been ready to go out with us, but we kept her waiting and weren't answering her calls. From her perspective, she felt ignored and disrespected. So there were hurt feelings on both sides, and I was caught in the middle of a friendship conflict that had already become complicated.
Before the first major conflict involving me, I actually ghosted my best friend for around four months. Looking back, I know that was unhealthy and unfair. Instead of communicating properly when I was struggling, I withdrew and avoided the situation. After those four months, I saw her again and greeted her.
Later, I was talking to the other mutual friend. During that conversation, she made a dismissive comment about my best friend, basically asking me in a mocking way whether my best friend had even said hello to me properly or kissed me. I answered "no" and laughed.
My best friend eventually heard that conversation. From her perspective, she had just seen me again after four months of not speaking, and then I went and laughed with someone who was making a disrespectful comment about her. She interpreted my reaction as me agreeing with the other person and being disloyal to her. She felt that I was participating in talking behind her back.
I want to clarify that I did NOT initiate the conversation about her, I did NOT insult her, and I did NOT intend to humiliate or attack her. But I understand that I still handled the situation badly. I should have immediately stopped the conversation or defended her instead of laughing and answering the way I did.
I was extremely conflict-avoidant and afraid of upsetting people. Because these two people had already had a serious conflict, I was constantly trying to remain neutral and keep peace between everyone. But I now understand that staying neutral doesn't mean staying silent when someone you love is being disrespected.
My best friend told me very clearly that she couldn't be friends with someone who talked behind her back. I apologized, and we continued our friendship. I genuinely believed I had understood what I had done wrong and that I wouldn't repeat the same mistake.
Later, there was another conflict involving the same mutual friend. This time, my best friend explicitly asked me twice not to talk about her with this person. I eventually mentioned my best friend's name anyway.
Again, I want to be very clear: I wasn't trying to gossip about her, insult her, or damage her reputation. I mentioned her because I was explaining why I had been distant and because I still hoped that the two of them could eventually reconcile. But I understand now that this doesn't excuse what I did. My best friend had specifically asked me not to bring her up, and I crossed that boundary.
This second incident was especially painful for her because she had already told me after the first situation how important this boundary was to her. So even though my intentions were different, from her perspective it probably felt like I had repeated the same kind of betrayal.
After that, she completely ended the friendship. She blocked me everywhere, and some mutual friends also unfollowed me. Her close friends strongly support her and have told me that they don't want her to come back to me, even if she ever wanted to.
I've spent the past months reflecting on everything. I realized that my biggest problems were not that I wanted to hurt my friend or secretly wanted to betray her. My problems were that I was extremely conflict-avoidant, I ghosted instead of communicating, I tried to please everyone, I didn't know how to set healthy boundaries, and I didn't understand that sometimes staying "neutral" can itself hurt someone you love.
I also realized that I had a very immature understanding of loyalty. I thought that being a good friend meant avoiding conflict with everyone and treating both sides equally. Now I understand that loyalty doesn't mean blindly taking someone's side; it means being honest, protecting their privacy, respecting their boundaries, and speaking up when someone is being unfair or disrespectful toward them.
I deeply regret my actions. I know that my intentions don't erase the impact they had on my best friend. I also know that I was given a chance after the first incident, and the fact that I made another mistake later makes the situation much more serious.
But my question is: Does making serious mistakes in a friendship necessarily mean reconciliation is impossible forever?
I don't want to force my way back into her life. I don't want to violate her boundaries again or pressure her to forgive me. I want to genuinely work on myself and become a healthier, more loyal, and more emotionally mature person.
If someone has been deeply hurt by you and has completely cut you off, but you genuinely understand what you did wrong and are willing to change, is there ever a possibility that, after enough time, they could become open to reconciliation? Or once someone has been hurt twice, is the friendship permanently beyond repair?
I know I can't control whether she ever comes back. I just want to know whether people have experienced situations where a friendship seemed completely over, but after years of growth, forgiveness and maturity, the two people eventually found their way back to each other.
How do you repair a friendship after a serious breach of trust when the other person feels betrayed more than once?
I had a best friend of almost 5 years. Before the first major conflict between her and another mutual friend, I had actually ghosted my best friend for a period of time. Looking back, I know that was wrong. Instead of communicating properly when I was upset, I withdrew and avoided the situation. I now understand that this probably already hurt her and affected the trust between us.
Then came the first major conflict. One day, I saw my best friend and said hello to her. Later, I was talking with the other mutual friend, and she made a dismissive comment about my best friend, basically asking me in a mocking way whether my best friend had even said hello to me properly or hugged me. I answered "no" and laughed. My best friend later heard the conversation.
I didn't intend to insult her or humiliate her, and at the time I didn't fully understand how bad it looked. But from her perspective, I had just greeted her, then went and laughed with someone who was making a disrespectful comment about her. She saw that as disloyalty and as me participating in talking behind her back. She told me very clearly that she couldn't be friends with someone who talked behind her back.
At the time, I apologized and genuinely thought I understood what I had done wrong. But I now realize that I had a bigger problem: I was extremely conflict-avoidant. I wanted to remain neutral, keep everyone happy, and avoid taking sides, but in doing so I sometimes failed to stand up for people I loved.
Later, there was another conflict. My best friend explicitly asked me twice not to talk about her with this same person. I eventually mentioned her name anyway. My intention wasn't to gossip, insult her, or spread anything negative. I was trying to explain why I had been distant and, deep down, I still hoped the two of them could reconcile. But I now understand that good intentions don't erase the fact that I crossed a boundary she had clearly communicated to me.
From her perspective, this probably felt like a second betrayal: the first time she had already told me how deeply it hurt her to feel that I was talking about her behind her back, and then later I did something she had specifically asked me not to do.
This time, she completely cut me off. She blocked me everywhere, and some mutual friends also unfollowed me. She has made it clear that she doesn't want contact.
I've spent the past months going back through old conversations and reflecting on everything. I've realized that I had unhealthy patterns: ghosting instead of communicating, conflict avoidance, trying too hard to stay neutral, people-pleasing, not knowing when to speak up, and not understanding how important loyalty and boundaries are in close friendships.
I genuinely regret how I handled things. I don't believe I ever wanted to hurt my friend or damage her reputation, but I now understand that intentions don't erase impact, and that love for someone isn't enough if your actions don't make them feel safe and respected.
I still love and miss my friend deeply. I don't want to pressure her or force her to forgive me. If she never wants to speak to me again, I know I have to respect that. But if she ever becomes open to reconciliation, I would genuinely like to rebuild the friendship in a healthier way.
How do you rebuild trust when someone has already given you a chance, then feels betrayed again? Is it possible to repair a friendship when the person feels that the betrayal happened twice, especially when the first incident involved disloyalty and the second involved crossing a clearly stated boundary? What can I do to genuinely demonstrate that I've changed without trying to force my way back into their life? And if someone has completely closed the door, is the healthiest thing to accept it, or is it okay to leave the door open for reconciliation someday?
I had a best friend of almost 5 years. Before the first major conflict between her and another mutual friend, I had actually ghosted my best friend for a period of time. Looking back, I know that was wrong. Instead of communicating properly when I was upset, I withdrew and avoided the situation. I now understand that this probably already hurt her and affected the trust between us.
Then came the first major conflict. One day, I saw my best friend and said hello to her. Later, I was talking with the other mutual friend, and she made a dismissive comment about my best friend, basically asking me in a mocking way whether my best friend had even said hello to me properly or hugged me. I answered "no" and laughed. My best friend later heard the conversation.
I didn't intend to insult her or humiliate her, and at the time I didn't fully understand how bad it looked. But from her perspective, I had just greeted her, then went and laughed with someone who was making a disrespectful comment about her. She saw that as disloyalty and as me participating in talking behind her back. She told me very clearly that she couldn't be friends with someone who talked behind her back.
At the time, I apologized and genuinely thought I understood what I had done wrong. But I now realize that I had a bigger problem: I was extremely conflict-avoidant. I wanted to remain neutral, keep everyone happy, and avoid taking sides, but in doing so I sometimes failed to stand up for people I loved.
Later, there was another conflict. My best friend explicitly asked me twice not to talk about her with this same person. I eventually mentioned her name anyway. My intention wasn't to gossip, insult her, or spread anything negative. I was trying to explain why I had been distant and, deep down, I still hoped the two of them could reconcile. But I now understand that good intentions don't erase the fact that I crossed a boundary she had clearly communicated to me.
From her perspective, this probably felt like a second betrayal: the first time she had already told me how deeply it hurt her to feel that I was talking about her behind her back, and then later I did something she had specifically asked me not to do.
This time, she completely cut me off. She blocked me everywhere, and some mutual friends also unfollowed me. She has made it clear that she doesn't want contact.
I've spent the past months going back through old conversations and reflecting on everything. I've realized that I had unhealthy patterns: ghosting instead of communicating, conflict avoidance, trying too hard to stay neutral, people-pleasing, not knowing when to speak up, and not understanding how important loyalty and boundaries are in close friendships.
I genuinely regret how I handled things. I don't believe I ever wanted to hurt my friend or damage her reputation, but I now understand that intentions don't erase impact, and that love for someone isn't enough if your actions don't make them feel safe and respected.
I still love and miss my friend deeply. I don't want to pressure her or force her to forgive me. If she never wants to speak to me again, I know I have to respect that. But if she ever becomes open to reconciliation, I would genuinely like to rebuild the friendship in a healthier way.
How do you rebuild trust when someone has already given you a chance, then feels betrayed again? Is it possible to repair a friendship when the person feels that the betrayal happened twice, especially when the first incident involved disloyalty and the second involved crossing a clearly stated boundary? What can I do to genuinely demonstrate that I've changed without trying to force my way back into their life? And if someone has completely closed the door, is the healthiest thing to accept it, or is it okay to leave the door open for reconciliation someday?