u/SmoothApricot6886

I feel like I fucked up, I feel like I fucked up really bad and I'm questioning everything.

My husband M24 and I F22 have been together for a little over 3 years and have been married for 2 years. Our sex life has been all over the place within the last three years. When we first started dating we had sex nearly every day for at least 4 months straight. Our honeymoon stage was intense and I fell madly in love with him right away. I got pregnant around the 6 month mark of our relationship and due to painful intercourse and intense nausea, sex came to a halt for us. I really wasn't able to perform sexually at all when I was pregnant. Handjobs, blowjobs strong smells and sensory discomfort during intimacy would make me gag. we had sex a handful of times when I was pregnant.

something else, my husband has a very strong odor (bad breath) that I started noticing when I was pregnant that became a contributing factor to why sex has been icking me out. we have tried going to dentists and doctors for reasons and treatments, but no doctor or dentist has noticed anything wrong that needs to be treated and no one else seems to notice the smell besides me.

after pregnancy I was really hoping our sex life would pick back up but unfortunately it didn't. It continued to be a struggle to get intimate and due to pain, discomfort and smells I really really struggled to have sex with him.

After about a year postpartum I noticed that I was starting to get turned on again and feeling sexually aroused, but just not for him. I went a while without telling him because I really wanted to avoid hurting his feelings and saying something I couldn't take back. after a certain point I did decide to talk to him about my feelings and gave him options, we could separate (if that's what he wanted) we could continue not being intimate, or we could open up the relationship on his end so he can still have sex. he wanted to open things up. he gave dating apps a shot for a few months and nothing came out of it, not even a single date. he wanted to close things back up so we agreed.

I've managed to somewhat fix our dead bedroom and we have sex about 2-4 times a month when I'm really desperate and needing it. I can only have sex with him in certain positions and we rarely kiss/makeout so I don't get icked out.

I want to have more sex than this. I'm young, I'm fit, I'm pretty and I want to enjoy my sex life. so, I talked to him again recently. I asked him how he would feel about opening up the relationship so we could both have more sex, he agreed and we downloaded tinder together, we agreed to tell each other everything and that if either one of us felt uncomfortable that we needed to communicate it and I made it very clear that I was happy to close things back up if he ever desired we do so.

well, basically 10 minutes into having a tinder profile I got over 100 likes and was getting bombarded with messages. It was honestly a little overwhelming so I talked to my husband and asked how he felt and he said it made him kinda sad how much easier this was for me than it was for him, but he encouraged me to continue on and to find a date. so I did. someone messaged me, he was cute and he gave me his number and we were going to set up a date for the next day (yesterday). I showed my husband and asked if he approved and he honestly got a little upset, he said it was frustrating that it was so much easier for me to find a date than it was for him and he was feeling confused by how excited I was about it. we got into a back and forth about it and then he said some hurtful comments. things like how he didn't think I spent enough time and energy playing with our daughter (I work from home and also am with her whenever I can be), he said that he was feeling a little hurt by how little intercourse we have and he also said that he didn't feel like I desired him.

I immediately felt like shit and deleted the app. told him I was okay not trying ENM and that its okay if he wants to be done. went to sleep a little sad that night I'm not gonna lie.

next day the guy from tinder messaged me (on my number) and asked me to dinner. I showed the text to my husband and asked how I should respond. I told him I wanted a hard yes or a hard no. That if he wasn't sure or if it made him uncomfortable TO PLEASE TELL ME NO. he said yes, he encouraged me to go. He told me to get ready for my date and that he would set one up for himself too.

I got my date set up, I got ready and I felt smokin. I was honestly really excited. My husband had a date too, I thought "we're both set up, it's gonna be a great night for the both of us".

my date goes amazing, the guy is super nice, respectful, and we hit it off. he gave me head... a lot of it and it was really good. I really haven't enjoyed myself like that in a while.

midnight rolls around and my husband starts calling my phone as I'm leaving. I give a kiss goodbye to my date and I call my husband back and ask how his date went. He's sobbing. Through tears he is asking me why he is not enough for me and why I was out so late. Said he hated his date and he could only think about me the entire time, said he kissed her and then told her he needed to go home. he felt awful about the whole thing. He was begging me to tell him everything that happened and to come home right away. I felt absolutely fucking awful. It was definitely the worst post nut clarity I have ever experienced in my life.

I got home and I gave him the details (it didn't help) and he cried for hours until he eventually cried himself to sleep. I of course told him that we didn't have to continue this lifestyle and that we could be done right then and there.

Well today is the day after and my husband is feeling only slightly better but says he feels betrayed and confused and says he doesn't feel like he is enough. he says he feels cheated, said he's not built for ENM and thinks its wrong and just "communicated cheating".

I'm at a loss, I've apologized so many times already and I'm not really sure what I can do anymore. I feel sorry for him, and myself, and my date who I will likely never see or hear from again after the text I sent this morning saying I had to cut things off.

I'm seeking advice, signing up for couples therapy, and genuinely trying to think of anything I can say or do for my husband right now to mend his feelings and make him feel loved and wanted.

How do I get this to change? My husband M24 and I F22 have a 2 year old, we moved in with his parents shortly after giving birth so that my husband could focus on school without having to worry about working and supporting us financially.
Basically, I’m currently the breadwinner as a SAHM working from home as well 😭 anyways, my husband loves to put our daughter in front of the screen whenever he sits down. He studies alot for school, but whenever our daughter is upset or angry, he likes to put a binky in her mouth and let her watch a show. He will do this for hours.
I have been asking him to not let her watch TV since she was 4 month old but he has not stopped once. He sighs when I ask him to turn off the tv and then begrudgingly turns it off.
I told him she’s only allowed to watch an hour of screen time a day and I’d prefer before dinner. When my husband gets up in the mornings with our daughter literally the first thing he will do is take her out to our living room, sit on the couch with her turn on a show and he will take a nap. It’s very very infuriating. I don’t know how to get him to stop, it’s just so frustrating not being able to raise my own child how I want.
I’ve started waking up earlier so I can get her breakfast ready and so he doesn’t have to wake up with her, but then I’ll ask him to watch her for a few minutes so I can go get ready and he immediately turns on a show for her and scrolls on his phone or falls asleep.
I feel like I’m going crazy, ughh I know he’s tired but I am too 😭😭

How do I get this to change? My husband M24 and I F22 have a 2 year old, we moved in with his parents shortly after giving birth so that my husband could focus on school without having to worry about working and supporting us financially.
Basically, I’m currently the breadwinner as a SAHM working from home as well 😭 anyways, my husband loves to put our daughter in front of the screen whenever he sits down. He studies alot for school, but whenever our daughter is upset or angry, he likes to put a binky in her mouth and let her watch a show. He will do this for hours.
I have been asking him to not let her watch TV since she was 4 month old but he has not stopped once. He sighs when I ask him to turn off the tv and then begrudgingly turns it off.
I told him she’s only allowed to watch an hour of screen time a day and I’d prefer before dinner. When my husband gets up in the mornings with our daughter literally the first thing he will do is take her out to our living room, sit on the couch with her turn on a show and he will take a nap. It’s very very infuriating. I don’t know how to get him to stop, it’s just so frustrating not being able to raise my own child how I want.
I’ve started waking up earlier so I can get her breakfast ready and so he doesn’t have to wake up with her, but then I’ll ask him to watch her for a few minutes so I can go get ready and he immediately turns on a show for her and scrolls on his phone or falls asleep.
I feel like I’m going crazy, ughh I know he’s tired but I am too 😭😭

My husband is a full time student and we live with his parents. I got pregnant at like 19 and have been basically working full time at home while also being sahm. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him I don’t want the tv to be turned on all day long but genuinely he could not give less of a fuck. Our two year old wakes up and the first thing he does with her is put her in front of the tv. I have to fucking beg his loser ass to help me get her ready so we can go out and do something. Right now he’s sleeping on the couch in our living room at 10 am and I had to turn off the tv because he couldn’t manage to stay awake for the 15 minutes I needed to use the bathroom.
He never wants to do anything, he actually doesn’t enjoy leaving the house or going out in general and so when it comes to doing it for our child he doesn’t really give a fuck. I literally have to fucking begggg him to do activities with us. Makes me never want to have another one of his babies ever again, he’s just so fucking lame sometimes.

I F22 have been married to my husband M24 for 2 years now. We moved far away from my friends and family so we could put my husband through school. We also have a toddler. I was very lonely for a long time when we moved but a year ago I met a girl F22, she grew up in the same area as me and her and I have so many similarities and interests. We clicked instantly and became really great friends right away. Her boyfriend cheated on her a while ago and they stayed together and moved in with each other right afterwards. Now they’re engaged and I’ve been feeling really strong emotions of disgust and hatred towards him. I thought it was because I just didn’t like him as a person and for what he did to her, but I keep having dreams and fantasies of her and I being together.
I also have been feeling really confused, I thought I was straight and didn’t like women. I’m confused by my feelings towards her. She’s my best friend and I really don’t want to have to talk about this with my husband, but I just want to hold her hands and kiss her and tell her how important I think she is.
What can I do to stop the advancement of these feelings?

As the title states, my husband is extremely dissatisfied with how often we have sex. For context, I suffered some medical complications post birth 2 ish years ago that caused penetrative sex to be extremely painful. I’ve spoken to a couple different doctors now about the issue (I was stitched up incorrectly and my labia is curled up and scarred) the only solution seems to be expensive surgery that doesn’t guarantee success.

We occasionally have other forms of sex, oral, handjobs etc. but it’s not very often. Maybe once every week. I’m fine with it and happy. I obviously wish we could have more sex, but I’m not really interested in sex all that much with him.

I feel like after the honeymoon stage I lost attraction to him and I don’t desire him sexually at all. I would like to fix this and myself. I’m too young and broke to leave and give up on my marriage. What are some ways I can bring back the attraction to my husband?