u/SoapBrick_214

I'll go first: The dread when others have the social life you desire with your whole heart.

1. I see others my age partying and clubbing while I lie on my bed eating lollies, doomscrolling and giving myself any mind numbing instant gratification. Feels like I'm a different species with a distinctively different life.

2. I am a woman and I am very inexperienced with makeup. I never learnt much and feel like such a tomboy compared to others my age. Other girls also do makeup together socially. I have never done that once. Fuck my isolated lifestyle.

3. People my age all have had part time jobs. I have never worked a day in my life. They are giggle and chirp on about their shifts and entertaining customers whilst I sit there in dead silence. It's like they are the cheetahs and I am the sloth. A different species.

I could elaborate, but these are the main points. Anyone else feel the same?

For me it's when a girl calls you by a shortened version of your name e.g Soph instead of Sophie like ughhh warms my heart.

Tip 1#:

Always bring tissues with you. You never know when something will spill or when you gotta clean something up.

Tip 2#:

Practice plucking your leg hairs before your eyebrow hairs. Yes, this sounds silly but if you're hesistant to change your brows it really helps! It allows you to get used to the tool that you're using (tweezers) as well as focusing on precision and the motion of plucking.

Tip 3#:

If your base coat is not running but is more sticky and a snot like texture , consider not using it. I personally used a base coat that had a less runny texture and had an unpleasant surprise when I noticed that my nails weren't as glossy or strong because my base coat didn't work. Sigh.

Tip 4#:

Bring a little perfume bottle when you go out. It's possible you'll get grubby , have an unexpected occasion or just simply want to smell nice in the moment.

Tip 5#:

Always remember to fix your skirt when you're standing up. I once had an unfortunate incident when I stood up and my skirt was caught in my backpack and the rest is history. It was , quite frankly, humiliating. It's easy to forget this one, so I'm emphasising it. I had to learn this one the hard way.

Tip #6:

If you are new to mascara and think "huh this looks weird on me" it's possible it might not be your thing OR you just need to practice with it. Use it very regularly for a while and you will eventually adjust to it more. Makeup isn't something that appeals instantly to everyone, sometimes it's good to quit and a lot of the time it's good to just keep trying.

Tip #7:

Do things that give you a ton of confidence. For me, it was leaving a toxic high school environment whilst simultaneuosly coming out the closet. Sometimes things like what I just mentioned are hard to do though, so I reccommend perhaps taking small steps every day to build your confidence over time. It doesn't have to be anything intense.

Tip #8:

If you have vague curiositys about something to do with your appearence, find a way to make it happen and don't delay it and delay it. For instance, at 15 I wanted to try eyeliner. Wasn't super into makeup and had a lot of discouragement at home so I never even tried it. Now I'm 19 and trying to get the hang of it but quite enjoying it. Find a way to make it occur in a decent timeframe if possible. In my case I would've cautiously bought eyeliner at Pacific Fair (shopping centre) at 15-16 and tried it alone in my room . Sometimes it takes a little courage to do something like that even, but better you do it now and regret it later. Don't let your curiosities, interests and preferences go to the grave with you.

Tip #9:

Do little things with yourself and your body that give you JOY. If you're feeling insecure about the way your body looks, have a dance, have a run! If you have some spare change and feeling experimental, buy a ring! If you aren't feeling confident in photos, have fun posing in the mirror with cool outfits!

Overall, I hope some of this helps. I'm not the best at giving advice but feel that some of this might be useful.

The days spent alone, scrolling, reading, consuming, internally exploring. The isolation, the divergence from the outside world, the feeling of loneliness consuming you.

Sometimes it feels like the world is falling down on you. Like there is no hope. I myself am often secluded, hoping that one day something will change.

And it often can.

Sometimes life seems like a dead end, like there is no hope. But this is hope. You can change. Things can change. Sometimes the best plan is to reach out. Not to friends and family always but another human, someone who will hear you, listen to you. There's someone out there for you who will understand you and perhaps even relate to you. Someone who you can truly connect to. Someone who you could even call your best friend one day.

The hikikomori life is one of both ups and downs, it can go on forever or end abruptly. Life is not a straight line, trust your instincts and take opportunites of all kinds that are thrown at you, no matter how big nor small. Our existence is short, make it your own in any way you see fit.

If you have any unique family situation that is different to the societial "normal", I want you to hear this message.

I want you to know that you are more than the circumstances you are faced with. There is more to this world than the possible challenges and differences that you have encountered within your personal life. You are loved and you are valued beyond the factors that are out of your control. You are doing enough. You are enough. This isn't your fault. These situations may have shaped you, but they don't determine the outcome. You are you. You are the decider of your life. You are the captain of your ship.

I had 1,000+ before now it's 8!! 8!! Please help me

1. Stand up for yourself, even if you’re scared

2. When things seem hard at first, track them, i becomes motivating that way

3. You always HAVE TIME, you just have to use it wisely

4. Don’t let people get to you

5. Take opportunities that come your way

6. Explore stuff, even if it doesn’t seem like your thing

7. Be yourself, don’t worry about what others think

8. Stay strong and push through hard times

9. Be grateful for everything you have, whether big or small

10. Don’t compare yourself to other people, your life is your life

11.   Don’t let pressure influence or change you, make your own choices

12. Think  things through, but don’t hesitate for years 

13.   If something really sucks, to the point of tears, make a change

14. Manage your time wisely but don’t sacrifice everything for one thing

15. Pure dopamine ecapism isn’t the answer to your problems

16. You have to move on  from the past and build the life you want today

17. Do what you want with your appearence and don’t care about what others think of it. Ever. 

18. Remember who you are and what you like in changing times

19. Live in the moment and soak everything in

I'm 19 and never had a job. Ever. My family made fun of part time jobs "toiling away in a cake shop" quote so I never pushed to get one. Now I have no money of my own and just use theirs, which is what they wanted and im grateful for their help but i feel silly compared to others my age.

I also haven't been to a party since I was 15. Yeah, and i see mates every 3-5 months. I have no social skills and can barely communicate with other people. i got an average hsc atar due to my anxiety and lack of good study skills. I wasted years of my life on my phone and was a loner at school.

I don't even know how to do much makeup. My family was against me wearing it "it damages your skin" "you dont need it" and now the other girls have photos of them in cute makeup and I was barefaced my whole teens and only know 3-4 products.

Despite all this I still got into the course at university that I wanted and moving down to the big city. Had some hobbies, won some competitions and got lots of cool songs in my teens. Also kinda developed some sense of style and learnt basic life skills. I have a therapist who is helping me a LOT, but still wondering, are there many people like me out there? Or am I rare?