I keep wondering if I'll always end up pushing people away, even though deep down all I want is one person who feels like home.
Sometimes I wonder if this is something a lot of women quietly carry. the feeling of never fully belonging anywhere.
Does that feeling ever go away?
Need to gain a bit of financial independence to escape an abusive situation. Unfortunately it’s a long route with MBBS. Please do not suggest USMLE or any abroad pathways. Not realistic in my situation
TW/CW********
Hi everyone,
I’m 22 and I don’t really have stable family support or guidance I can rely on . I was mostly raised without consistent involvement from my mother, and I don’t have cousins or close family I can turn to for advice. It feels a bit vulnerable reaching out like this, but I genuinely need help finding a safe, understanding female doctor in Lahore for a breast examination.
I have a history of childhood sexual trauma (CSA), so anything involving medical examination of my body can be very triggering and emotionally difficult for me. I would really appreciate a doctor who is:
gentle and patient
explains things before doing them
and is as trauma-informed as possible
I’m also dealing with ongoing breast concerns, including discomfort, heaviness, and a fairly large lump that I’ve noticed, and I know I need to get it checked properly.
If anyone has recommendations or personal experiences with a good female doctor in Lahore who is kind and sensitive with patients, I would really appreciate it.
Thank you so much for reading this.
​
I'm a pakistani woman in my early 20s and I'm struggling to understand how marriage is supposed to work for someone like me.
I grew up experiencing csa/ 🍇and on top of that, most of the examples of marriage I saw growing up were not positive. The men in my family made the women around them miserable. Constant control, anger, criticism, emotional neglect, and double standards. As a child, I don't remember looking at marriages around me and thinking, "I want that one day." If anything, marriage looked like something women had to endure rather than enjoy.
As a result, I've spent most of my life avoiding men.
I went to an all-girls school. In university, I have had virtually no interaction with male classmates. I avoid men whenever possible. Even with male teachers, I become extremely anxious. Sometimes I come across as rude or cold when I don't mean to. I'm not trying to be disrespectful. I'm usually just scared and trying to get out of the interaction as quickly as possible.
To give you an idea of how bad it is, when my sister got married, it took me around two years to become comfortable enough to have a normal conversation with my brother-in-law. He never did anything wrong. He was respectful and kind. Yet I was still scared of him simply because he was a man.
I know my mindset about men isn't accurate or fair.
Logically, I know not all men are abusive. I know there are good husbands, good fathers, and good men. But knowing something intellectually and feeling it emotionally are two very different things.
The problem is that now I'm at an age where marriage is becoming a real topic. My siblings are getting married and building lives of their own. They have partners, homes, support systems, and a future that feels like it's moving forward. Meanwhile, I feel stuck.
I do want companionship. I do want a family someday. I do want stability. Part of me also wants a life that is separate from the environment I grew up in. But I genuinely don't know how someone who is this uncomfortable around men is supposed to find a spouse without dating.
How do people even get to know a potential spouse when talking to men is this difficult?
For men and women who have dealt with severe fear, trust issues, trauma, or negative beliefs about the opposite gender, what helped?
Did marriage help? Did you have to work through these fears before marriage, or did some of that healing happen within the marriage itself?
I'm looking for honest experiences from people who have been in a similar position. I know my fears don't reflect reality, but changing them feels much harder than simply telling myself to think differently.
​
I'm a pakistani woman in my early 20s and I'm struggling to understand how marriage is supposed to work for someone like me.
I grew up experiencing csa/ 🍇and on top of that, most of the examples of marriage I saw growing up were not positive. The men in my family made the women around them miserable. Constant control, anger, criticism, emotional neglect, and double standards. As a child, I don't remember looking at marriages around me and thinking, "I want that one day." If anything, marriage looked like something women had to endure rather than enjoy.
As a result, I've spent most of my life avoiding men.
I went to an all-girls school. In university, I have had virtually no interaction with male classmates. I avoid men whenever possible. Even with male teachers, I become extremely anxious. Sometimes I come across as rude or cold when I don't mean to. I'm not trying to be disrespectful. I'm usually just scared and trying to get out of the interaction as quickly as possible.
To give you an idea of how bad it is, when my sister got married, it took me around two years to become comfortable enough to have a normal conversation with my brother-in-law. He never did anything wrong. He was respectful and kind. Yet I was still scared of him simply because he was a man.
I know my mindset about men isn't accurate or fair.
Logically, I know not all men are abusive. I know there are good husbands, good fathers, and good men. But knowing something intellectually and feeling it emotionally are two very different things.
The problem is that now I'm at an age where marriage is becoming a real topic. My siblings are getting married and building lives of their own. They have partners, homes, support systems, and a future that feels like it's moving forward. Meanwhile, I feel stuck.
I do want companionship. I do want a family someday. I do want stability. Part of me also wants a life that is separate from the environment I grew up in. But I genuinely don't know how someone who is this uncomfortable around men is supposed to find a spouse without dating.
How do people even get to know a potential spouse when talking to men is this difficult?
For men and women who have dealt with severe fear, trust issues, trauma, or negative beliefs about the opposite gender, what helped?
Did marriage help? Did you have to work through these fears before marriage, or did some of that healing happen within the marriage itself?
I'm looking for honest experiences from people who have been in a similar position. I know my fears don't reflect reality, but changing them feels much harder than simply telling myself to think differently.
How do students even afford therapy honestly 😭
I need around 15k/month for it and can’t really tell family or ask them for the money. Pocket money isn’t covering it either.
If anyone’s dealt with this before, how did you manage it?
Ya Allah,
It is the Day of Arafah and I have come to You with all that is inside me. The sadness, the guilt, the fear, the confusion, the hopes I still secretly carry. You know me completely. Nothing about me is hidden from You.
Ya Rabb, please do not turn away from me.
I know I have sinned. I know I have made mistakes. I know there were times I became distant from You and from the person I wanted to be. But where else can I go except to You? You are the Most Merciful, and I am begging for Your mercy.
Please Allah, stop being angry with me.
You saw every tear I cried alone. You saw every moment I felt hurt, unwanted, afraid, or lost. You saw the things that changed me. You saw how hard it became for me to trust, to feel safe, to feel calm. And still, Ya Allah, I am standing at Your door asking You not to leave me.
Forgive me for all my sins, the big ones and the small ones, the hidden ones and the open ones, the sins I remember and the ones I forgot. Wash my heart clean and give me another chance to become better.
Ya Allah, I am tired of carrying heaviness in my chest. I want peace. I want a life that feels stable and safe. I want halal rizq, success in my studies, and a future that is full of barakah. Help me become independent and make a way for me where I cannot see one.
Put goodness in my future.
Put light in my heart.
Put softness in my soul again.
Ya Allah, You know my relationship with my parents better than anyone. You know the love, the hurt, the distance, and the things I struggle with. Please guide me to what is right. Do not let anger and resentment destroy my heart. Help me speak and act with dignity even when I am hurting.
Heal my heart from old pain.
Remove the loneliness from me.
Replace fear with peace.
Replace sadness with ease.
Replace overthinking with trust in You.
Ya Rabb, I dream of a better life even when I act like I don’t. I dream of a calm home, honest people around me, work that gives me dignity, and love that feels safe and sincere. If these things are good for me, then bring them closer to me in the most beautiful way.
Protect me from people who harm me.
Protect me from becoming hopeless.
Protect me from losing myself completely.
And if I have any goodness in me, any sincerity, any softness left in my heart, then let it grow instead of die.
Please let this Arafah change something inside me.
Let it be the day You forgive me.
The day You answer the duas I have carried for years.
The day my heart finally feels close to You again.
Stay with me, Ya Allah.
Even when I am struggling.
Even when I become distant.
Even when I do not know how to ask for help properly.
Ameen.
If yes, any additional requirements?
​
Thinking of starting a small weekend-only lasagne business and would love advice from people who’ve run home food businesses before.
My plan is:
\- take preorders during the week
\- cook in batches
\- deliver only on weekends
The issue is pricing/profit margins.
I make pretty loaded lasagne. generous chicken, lots of cheese, béchamel etc. I genuinely don’t want to cut corners because that’s kind of the whole identity of the product. But I’m struggling to figure out how to price it realistically without either:
overpricing for the market
or making almost no profit
I also cook mostly by instinct right now and don’t properly measure ingredients yet, so I’m trying to understand:
\- what’s considered a healthy profit margin per tray?
\- how much profit should a small home food business realistically make per order?
\- do people actually pay premium prices for “loaded” homemade comfort food?
\- is limiting deliveries to weekends a good strategy or a bad idea?
\- how do you standardize portions without ruining the homemade feel?
most competitors I see seem to price pretty low, which makes me wonder whether they’re using less cheese/meat or just operating on tiny margins.
Would genuinely appreciate advice from anyone who has experience with food businesses, meal prep, cloud kitchens, or homemade food brands.
​
TW
Hi everyone.
This is still just an idea in my head right now, but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and wanted to put it out there.
I’m based in , but this would ideally be for people across .
I keep thinking about how badly Pakistan lacks safe, survivor-centered support systems for people who experienced childhood sexual abuse (CSA), especially when the abuse happens within families.
Because the reality is: most survivors here don’t have anywhere to go.
There are barely any proper helplines.
Barely any safe shelters.
No real child protective system people can actually rely on.
And when the abuse runs in the family, things become even more complicated because the same people who are supposed to protect you are often the ones protecting the abuser, denying it happened, silencing you, or forcing you to continue living normally around people who harmed you.
A lot of survivors grow up completely alone with this.
People talk about healing as if everyone has access to therapy, money, safety, support systems, transportation, privacy, or independence. But many survivors in Pakistan are still trapped in the same environments because they’re financially dependent, emotionally controlled, isolated, or simply have nowhere safe to go.
And honestly, I don’t think survivors only need emotional support.
A lot of people need:
practical guidance
opportunities
safe connections
financial independence
remote work/online income resources
skill-building
community
people who actually understand
I keep wondering what could happen if the right people came together to build something better, even if it starts small.
Not just awareness posts.
Not fake performative activism.
But something genuinely useful, trauma-informed, survivor-centered, and grounded in the actual realities of Pakistan.
Some ideas I’ve thought about:
anonymous peer support spaces
moderated online survivor communities
trauma-informed discussions/resources
guidance for freelancing and online income
helping survivors build financial independence
connecting people to therapists/resources/opportunities
workshops about trauma, grooming, boundaries, body safety, consent, dissociation, etc.
culturally relevant mental health content
long-term child safety and prevention initiatives
I know spaces like this can become harmful if they’re not handled responsibly, so I’m not trying to play therapist or create some unmoderated trauma dumping space. I know this kind of thing would require structure, ethics, boundaries, moderation, and the right people involved.
Right now I’m mainly trying to see:
whether people even want something like this
whether similar initiatives already exist
what gaps people feel are most urgent
whether there are people willing to contribute ideas, resources, time, skills, or guidance
I’d especially love to connect with:
therapists/psychologists
social workers
lawyers familiar with abuse or child protection
educators
NGO/community organizers
people experienced in startups/nonprofits
people knowledgeable about freelancing/remote work
moderators/community builders
survivors who understand these realities firsthand
Even if this only starts as a small support network helping people access safety, stability, healing, or independence, I think that still matters.
Maybe nothing comes from this.
But maybe the right people find this post.
TW
Hi everyone.
This is still just an idea in my head right now, but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and wanted to put it out there.
I’m based in , but this would ideally be for people across .
I keep thinking about how badly Pakistan lacks safe, survivor-centered support systems for people who experienced childhood sexual abuse (CSA), especially when the abuse happens within families.
Because the reality is: most survivors here don’t have anywhere to go.
There are barely any proper helplines.
Barely any safe shelters.
No real child protective system people can actually rely on.
And when the abuse runs in the family, things become even more complicated because the same people who are supposed to protect you are often the ones protecting the abuser, denying it happened, silencing you, or forcing you to continue living normally around people who harmed you.
A lot of survivors grow up completely alone with this.
People talk about healing as if everyone has access to therapy, money, safety, support systems, transportation, privacy, or independence. But many survivors in Pakistan are still trapped in the same environments because they’re financially dependent, emotionally controlled, isolated, or simply have nowhere safe to go.
And honestly, I don’t think survivors only need emotional support.
A lot of people need:
practical guidance
opportunities
safe connections
financial independence
remote work/online income resources
skill-building
community
people who actually understand
I keep wondering what could happen if the right people came together to build something better, even if it starts small.
Not just awareness posts.
Not fake performative activism.
But something genuinely useful, trauma-informed, survivor-centered, and grounded in the actual realities of Pakistan.
Some ideas I’ve thought about:
anonymous peer support spaces
moderated online survivor communities
trauma-informed discussions/resources
guidance for freelancing and online income
helping survivors build financial independence
connecting people to therapists/resources/opportunities
workshops about trauma, grooming, boundaries, body safety, consent, dissociation, etc.
culturally relevant mental health content
long-term child safety and prevention initiatives
I know spaces like this can become harmful if they’re not handled responsibly, so I’m not trying to play therapist or create some unmoderated trauma dumping space. I know this kind of thing would require structure, ethics, boundaries, moderation, and the right people involved.
Right now I’m mainly trying to see:
whether people even want something like this
whether similar initiatives already exist
what gaps people feel are most urgent
whether there are people willing to contribute ideas, resources, time, skills, or guidance
I’d especially love to connect with:
therapists/psychologists
social workers
lawyers familiar with abuse or child protection
educators
NGO/community organizers
people experienced in startups/nonprofits
people knowledgeable about freelancing/remote work
moderators/community builders
survivors who understand these realities firsthand
Even if this only starts as a small support network helping people access safety, stability, healing, or independence, I think that still matters.
Maybe nothing comes from this.
But maybe the right people find this post.
​
Hi everyone.
This is still just an idea in my head right now, but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and wanted to put it out there.
I’m based in Lahore, but this would ideally be for people across Pakistan.
I keep thinking about how badly Pakistan lacks safe, survivor-centered support systems for people who experienced childhood sexual abuse (CSA), especially when the abuse happens within families.
Because the reality is: most survivors here don’t have anywhere to go.
There are barely any proper helplines.
Barely any safe shelters.
No real child protective system people can actually rely on.
And when the abuse runs in the family, things become even more complicated because the same people who are supposed to protect you are often the ones protecting the abuser, denying it happened, silencing you, or forcing you to continue living normally around people who harmed you.
A lot of survivors grow up completely alone with this.
People talk about healing as if everyone has access to therapy, money, safety, support systems, transportation, privacy, or independence. But many survivors in Pakistan are still trapped in the same environments because they’re financially dependent, emotionally controlled, isolated, or simply have nowhere safe to go.
And honestly, I don’t think survivors only need emotional support.
A lot of people need:
practical guidance
opportunities
safe connections
financial independence
remote work/online income resources
skill-building
community
people who actually understand
I keep wondering what could happen if the right people came together to build something better, even if it starts small.
Not just awareness posts.
Not fake performative activism.
But something genuinely useful, trauma-informed, survivor-centered, and grounded in the actual realities of Pakistan.
Some ideas I’ve thought about:
anonymous peer support spaces
moderated online survivor communities
trauma-informed discussions/resources
guidance for freelancing and online income
helping survivors build financial independence
connecting people to therapists/resources/opportunities
workshops about trauma, grooming, boundaries, body safety, consent, dissociation, etc.
culturally relevant mental health content
long-term child safety and prevention initiatives
I know spaces like this can become harmful if they’re not handled responsibly, so I’m not trying to play therapist or create some unmoderated trauma dumping space. I know this kind of thing would require structure, ethics, boundaries, moderation, and the right people involved.
Right now I’m mainly trying to see:
whether people even want something like this
whether similar initiatives already exist
what gaps people feel are most urgent
whether there are people willing to contribute ideas, resources, time, skills, or guidance
I’d especially love to connect with:
therapists/psychologists
social workers
lawyers familiar with abuse or child protection
educators
NGO/community organizers
people experienced in startups/nonprofits
people knowledgeable about freelancing/remote work
moderators/community builders
survivors who understand these realities firsthand
Even if this only starts as a small support network helping people access safety, stability, healing, or independence, I think that still matters.
Maybe nothing comes from this.
But maybe the right people find this post.
​
Hi everyone.
This is still just an idea in my head right now, but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and wanted to put it out there.
I’m based in , but this would ideally be for people across .
I keep thinking about how badly Pakistan lacks safe, survivor-centered support systems for people who experienced childhood sexual abuse (CSA), especially when the abuse happens within families.
Because the reality is: most survivors here don’t have anywhere to go.
There are barely any proper helplines.
Barely any safe shelters.
No real child protective system people can actually rely on.
And when the abuse runs in the family, things become even more complicated because the same people who are supposed to protect you are often the ones protecting the abuser, denying it happened, silencing you, or forcing you to continue living normally around people who harmed you.
A lot of survivors grow up completely alone with this.
People talk about healing as if everyone has access to therapy, money, safety, support systems, transportation, privacy, or independence. But many survivors in Pakistan are still trapped in the same environments because they’re financially dependent, emotionally controlled, isolated, or simply have nowhere safe to go.
And honestly, I don’t think survivors only need emotional support.
A lot of people need:
practical guidance
opportunities
safe connections
financial independence
remote work/online income resources
skill-building
community
people who actually understand
I keep wondering what could happen if the right people came together to build something better, even if it starts small.
Not just awareness posts.
Not fake performative activism.
But something genuinely useful, trauma-informed, survivor-centered, and grounded in the actual realities of Pakistan.
Some ideas I’ve thought about:
anonymous peer support spaces
moderated online survivor communities
trauma-informed discussions/resources
guidance for freelancing and online income
helping survivors build financial independence
connecting people to therapists/resources/opportunities
workshops about trauma, grooming, boundaries, body safety, consent, dissociation, etc.
culturally relevant mental health content
long-term child safety and prevention initiatives
I know spaces like this can become harmful if they’re not handled responsibly, so I’m not trying to play therapist or create some unmoderated trauma dumping space. I know this kind of thing would require structure, ethics, boundaries, moderation, and the right people involved.
Right now I’m mainly trying to see:
whether people even want something like this
whether similar initiatives already exist
what gaps people feel are most urgent
whether there are people willing to contribute ideas, resources, time, skills, or guidance
I’d especially love to connect with:
therapists/psychologists
social workers
lawyers familiar with abuse or child protection
educators
NGO/community organizers
people experienced in startups/nonprofits
people knowledgeable about freelancing/remote work
moderators/community builders
survivors who understand these realities firsthand
Even if this only starts as a small support network helping people access safety, stability, healing, or independence, I think that still matters.
Maybe nothing comes from this.
But maybe the right people find this post.
​
Hi everyone.
This is still just an idea in my head right now, but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and wanted to put it out there.
I’m based in , but this would ideally be for people across .
I keep thinking about how badly Pakistan lacks safe, survivor-centered support systems for people who experienced childhood sexual abuse (CSA), especially when the abuse happens within families.
Because the reality is: most survivors here don’t have anywhere to go.
There are barely any proper helplines.
Barely any safe shelters.
No real child protective system people can actually rely on.
And when the abuse runs in the family, things become even more complicated because the same people who are supposed to protect you are often the ones protecting the abuser, denying it happened, silencing you, or forcing you to continue living normally around people who harmed you.
A lot of survivors grow up completely alone with this.
People talk about healing as if everyone has access to therapy, money, safety, support systems, transportation, privacy, or independence. But many survivors in Pakistan are still trapped in the same environments because they’re financially dependent, emotionally controlled, isolated, or simply have nowhere safe to go.
And honestly, I don’t think survivors only need emotional support.
A lot of people need:
practical guidance
opportunities
safe connections
financial independence
remote work/online income resources
skill-building
community
people who actually understand
I keep wondering what could happen if the right people came together to build something better, even if it starts small.
Not just awareness posts.
Not fake performative activism.
But something genuinely useful, trauma-informed, survivor-centered, and grounded in the actual realities of Pakistan.
Some ideas I’ve thought about:
anonymous peer support spaces
moderated online survivor communities
trauma-informed discussions/resources
guidance for freelancing and online income
helping survivors build financial independence
connecting people to therapists/resources/opportunities
workshops about trauma, grooming, boundaries, body safety, consent, dissociation, etc.
culturally relevant mental health content
long-term child safety and prevention initiatives
I know spaces like this can become harmful if they’re not handled responsibly, so I’m not trying to play therapist or create some unmoderated trauma dumping space. I know this kind of thing would require structure, ethics, boundaries, moderation, and the right people involved.
Right now I’m mainly trying to see:
whether people even want something like this
whether similar initiatives already exist
what gaps people feel are most urgent
whether there are people willing to contribute ideas, resources, time, skills, or guidance
I’d especially love to connect with:
therapists/psychologists
social workers
lawyers familiar with abuse or child protection
educators
NGO/community organizers
people experienced in startups/nonprofits
people knowledgeable about freelancing/remote work
moderators/community builders
survivors who understand these realities firsthand
Even if this only starts as a small support network helping people access safety, stability, healing, or independence, I think that still matters.
Maybe nothing comes from this.
But maybe the right people find this post.