u/South_Resident1543

So im kinda trying to change my life, one of those is being less of a shut-in, another is being more fit, so i figured i should find a hobby to combine these two goals! I've seen jump-in volleyball games nearby but im kinda socially anxious so being shirtless and doing a competitive sport thing like that kinda turns me off. Rock climbing looks super fun, but the subscription for a gym near me is $80 a month which is a bit much for me. So far im leaning towards maybe a running or biking club? i have a decent bike so no cost there. I just wonder if theres much chance for social interaction? What physical hobbies have led to yall finding new friend groups?

So im trying to eat out less, and usually i do that at work. A couple problems are, idk if im bad at cooking but usually when i bring something to reheat at work its just a miserable experience to eat, woth rhe exception of a few rare things like a pot roast. Ive had the best consistency with just like a sandwich and something else like fruit or vege straws. But i cant do that every single day lol.

Basically ive been working in a very blue collar manufacturing role for the last 9 years, and ive gotten decently far. But now, after some therapy, I've realized I've been spending a lot of my life in a vague dissasociative autopilot. Its like I've woken up in someone elses life. Knowing who i am, what environments i like, the type of people i like, i have no idea why im even here besides my dads place having an opening 9 years ago.

Basically what i like or woukd like to do is something atound serving others or hospitality focused? Just really brightening others' day and doing something for them. A job like a barista sounds very attractive to me but from what ive heard online the pay is way too small for me to sustain myself. Ive looked into RBT work and it sounds good, meaningful work helping autistic kids, and im super interested in psych and might go to school for it. But I've heard horror stories of hoarder homes and injuries on the job.

So basically I guess im just asking what do yall think? Should i take out loans and try to go to school while working in this job i hate (or maybe rely on loans harder while supplementing with a part time)? Try to find a replacement job that will take me at entry level but can still pay enough to pay rent and bills?

This was a vocaloid song i listened to way back so far these are the details i remember: It was a group song, male and female, cast mightve been; miku, rin, lin, teto, kaito, maybe one more? The visual of the video was just a static vertical portrait of each vocaloid, and their protrait would light up as they sang. The vibe of the song was slower and kinda nostaligc/whimsical. Usually i think the girls woukd sing together, guys sing together, then they all sang for the chorus. The protraota were maybe in a kind of pastel style? Thats pretty much it

Quick summary. Im 29m, spent most all of my life extremely isolated due to some fucked up experiences growing up. And the loneliness is just too much now. In doing therapy, trying to really believe that others can enjoy my company, and get outside of my home.

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Which brings me to my current question, most of the hobbies that i either do or feel inclined towards (working out, clay modeling, reading, piano, etc) all are pretty exclusively lone hobbies. Some social hobbies like rock climbing seem fun, but im pretty sure that i wont be able to go out to a rock climbing gym reguarly without burning out. I tried going to a LA Fitness and Planet Fitness but compared to my usually empty apartment gym, having to ask people for equipment or to work in with them is pretty draining for me.

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So what im looking for i guess is a hobby that i can practice at home, but when im feeling ready and able to prepare i can take it outside and meet others through it. Any ideas?

Hey hey! I usually have some buddies i go with but they couldnt make it this year so im riding solo and looking to meet new people. I also bought my first DSLR camera recently so if you want some (very amateur) photos i can help with that too lol.

Does anyone have that clip of Northernlion talking about doing Kate's homework or something and someone in chat calls him a simp and hes like "im a simp? well you may be right but now shes the mother of my child so..." or something like that

So I've not been officially diagnosed or anything, but after talking to my life coach for a couole years he brings this up and it really seems to align with me a lot. I wanted to put something out there and see how yall relate to it.

So a lot of times ill be watching a video and the perspn will describe a lot of my qualities or life events and then conclude "this typically makes you a people pleaser" and then I pause. I think to myself "you had me until the end there, because, honestly, ive really pleased noone. I hardly interact with anyone." But then i thought about it more and this is the conclusion ive come to:

I am a people pleaser. And the way i seek to please people is by being absent from their life. My whole childhood growing up has been a long continuous lesson that i am unwanted, undesirable, and generally a nuisance. When I think about having sexual interactions or flirting with women it inherently feels like im a molester or sexual predstor because its just natural that amy advance from me is unwanted. When i think of bei g out with friends im never a valued addition, im a tolerated obligation. In fact in some dark times i have thought, almost verbatim "The kindest, most empathetic thing i could do for everyone around me and the world in general is remove myself from this world permanently."

And god i really cant explain how frustrating it is. I constantly fantasize about being desired, helpful, warm, all of these things. I day dream about how if i had a solid group of real friends, I'd constantly be seeking to find other lonely people and add them to the group and just help people find people. I DESPERATELY wish to serve and help people around me. Its honestly a pretty painful kind of hell.

So for those unaware of what I mean I sometimes see this joke about how some white people have a distinct smile, I can't add a picture but imagine the grimace emoji ( 😬 ), its basically a straight horizontal line of teeth, no upwards curve at the edge of the lips. Is there some cause to this or way to fix it? I feel like i smile well with my eyes but the lack of a normal curve to my smile takes away from it? I am overweight and trying to lose weight so maybe thats it.

Im trying to socialize more and ive noticed a trend, so id like to present 2 different social situations I was in recently and ask for advice.

Situation 1: I see a "walk in the park and discuss lifes big questions" event on Meetup. I go there and the general outline is the group meets, and in a circle 1 by 1 we say one thing we are grateful for, and one topic or question we'd like to discuss that day. The group then breaks up into smaller groups of 2 or 3, and walks and talks. This situation was absolutely no issue for me, i even got some soft rejections in people not wanting to talk to me much, and was completely fine with it.

Situation 2: Im trying to create a Bumble profile, and need pictures of myself. So i get dressed up and go to a local cafe for a pic of me with a coffee and reading my book. The cafe has 3 couches in a semi circle, I get anxious and sit away from the couches because i was nervous. Then after working up the courage to sit in the couch circle, i then spend the next roughly 30 min trying to work up the courage to ask the girl across from me to take a picture of me reading my book. Multiple "ok 3 deep breaths countdown and then ask" just to whuss out at the last second. Eventually I did it and my heart was in my throat. On the drive home i was freaking out, screamed, was tearing up, knocking on the plastic center console of my car so hard my knuckles bled.

I'd like to fix this. I want to be able to go to the local dive bar and just socially interact with others, being my full genuine self and ok with whatever happens. I went to this same bar last weekend and didnt really approach anyone. Currently im thinking of just going and accepting its gonna be cringe and awful and approach someone or a group. Does anyone have any better ideas or tips for this plan of action?

Im trying to socialize more and ive noticed a trend, so id like to present 2 different social situations I was in recently and ask for advice.

Situation 1: I see a "walk in the park and discuss lifes big questions" event on Meetup. I go there and the general outline is the group meets, and in a circle 1 by 1 we say one thing we are grateful for, and one topic or question we'd like to discuss that day. The group then breaks up into smaller groups of 2 or 3, and walks and talks. This situation was absolutely no issue for me, i even got some soft rejections in people not wanting to talk to me much, and was completely fine with it.

Situation 2: Im trying to create a Bumble profile, and need pictures of myself. So i get dressed up and go to a local cafe for a pic of me with a coffee and reading my book. The cafe has 3 couches in a semi circle, I get anxious and sit away from the couches because i was nervous. Then after working up the courage to sit in the couch circle, i then spend the next roughly 30 min trying to work up the courage to ask the girl across from me to take a picture of me reading my book. Multiple "ok 3 deep breaths countdown and then ask" just to whuss out at the last second. Eventually I did it and my heart was in my throat. On the drive home i was freaking out, screamed, was tearing up, knocking on the plastic center console of my car so hard my knuckles bled.

My assumption is I've just had multiple moments growing up where i didnt know the ruleset, and when i acted like myself or genuinely i got extremely socially rejected. So id like to fix this. I want to be able to go to the local dive bar and just socially interact with others, being my full genuine self and ok with whatever happens. I went to this same bar last weekend and didnt really approach anyone, im just so nervous of not knowing what im supposed to do or how to serve others.