u/SpiritualOstrich6885

I never did gcse psychology either, so any advice would help since I haven’t a clue about the subject

How do I stop obsessing over someone that doesn’t love me?

I’m 16, and I really struggle with over-romanticising my life- despite me being miserable every day. No matter how hard I try, I always feel this pit in my stomach that can’t be filled by food or my special interests, I always feel like I’m missing something. I’ve always created this fake version of people and then delude myself into thinking that they care for me.

For the past nearly 3 years, I’ve been obsessed with this boy in my school and everyday I’d think about him. I’d plan my school day around him, stalk his parents social media to see his older pics, follow him around when he’s not looking, and I’d use spells to make him fall inlove with me. I even taught myself to align my urination schedule with his at school so that I would pass by him in the bathroom (which works surprisingly.)I’m obsessed. But he has outwardly rejected me left and right, refusing to let me sit near him or let me touch his hand since he’s interested in another girl, and that really upsets me- so my brain tells me to just keep trying harder.

I’ve been like this my entire life. I maladaptive daydream more than I am conscious, and I just pretend that everyone loves me, even though I mean nothing to them. I fixate on my parents, friends, and my crush so badly that they think I’m insane and I really hurts me- especially when I try harder and they still don’t like me. I feel like my life has always revolved around others, which has caused me to mask so much that I must have brain damage by now lmao. Their mood controls me, and when someone is mean to me or cuts me off i get into a really bad depression where I won’t eat anything for days. My crush has moved on from me recently and I haven’t been able to move on myself- and I doubt I will for a long time. I still subconsciously check his following and his accounts because I can’t help it and I don’t want him with anyone else. If I see him with another girl, I honestly think ill lose my appetite for a few days, but I can’t bring myself to block him or forget about him because it feels addictive to check on him. I hate seeing him talk and flirt to other girls in my grade that aren’t interested in him, because I would never treat him like that. Why can’t he see that??? I want to stop my obsessive behaviour because it’s ruining my routine and is making me feel gross and guilty.

Unlike my imaginary life, I do not have a best friend, or a big girly friend group who I go shopping with. I do not have a caring boyfriend that reassures me when I’m crying- I do that myself. My parents are not together, and do not have a close connection to my siblings, because I don’t have any.

I’m not top of my class.
I’m not athletic at any sport.
I’m not funny.
I’m not pretty enough to be a model.
I don’t have an interesting past.
I don’t go to house parties every Friday night.

I hate my life, and I hate the fact that I have to live like this even more. I’m always in my head, it’s the only place where I feel safe and comfortable. When I try to spend time outside of my head, I’m only reminded how miserable and worthless my life is, and that makes me question a lot about myself. I am forever going to live like this because it’s the only way I’m free from my misery.

What’s your opinion on sixth form colleges here? I’m in yr11 and I’m doing a levels chem, bio, and psychology this year but I’m going to a sixth form college for multiple reasons:

• my area has a lot more SFC’s than just normal sixth forms, and they’re way bigger

• the closest sixth form for me is miles away and they don’t offer any transport support sadly :(

• I felt more comfortable at the SFC since there were more people (I’m quite shy, so I think this would help me get more confidence)

However, I thought the teachers were way nicer at the sixth form I went to on induction day, and they provided with a lot more extracurriculars. I just don’t really know what’s better academically.

I do edexcel and I got

•paper 1~ 52
•paper 2~65
•paper 3~47

*total= ~150-165

Last year was 156 for a 7, and I’ve been freaking out for weeks about the boundaries since I NEED a 7 to go to my dream uni. I told my mother that if I don’t get a grade 7 I’m gonna enlist 🫩 I just hope they go down because I’m desperate

I’m about to go to college and I’m 16, but nearly three years ago, I was raped by my first and only boyfriend in high school. Afterwards we broke up, and I was extremely depressed and traumatised by it, but now I think I’m doing okay. However, during high school, my life was made into a nightmare after he told my entire year about our s\*x life, and many people spread rumours about it. They even said that I was pregnant!! People eventually found out that he raped me, and the guys in my year seemed to have flipped a complete switch with me: many were repulsed, some thought that I was a wh\*re, many even refused to touch my hand after finding out. This treatment made me feel unlovable and dirty, even though I didn’t do anything wrong.

I’m going into college this September, and I’m extremely nervous about meeting new people. I really want to find love- I’m a hopeless romantic lol- but I’m so scared that my past is repulsive and that I’ll never be seen as the kind, sweet girl that I can be :( This isn’t for pity, however I thought that sharing my fears and embarrassment anonymously would do good for me, and any advice on what to do with these feelings would be appreciated greatly!

I’m about to go to college and I’m 16, but nearly three years ago, I was raped by my first and only boyfriend in high school. Afterwards we broke up, and I was extremely depressed and traumatised by it, but now I think I’m doing okay. However, during high school, my life was made into a nightmare after he told my entire year about our s*x life, and many people spread rumours about it. They even said that I was pregnant!! People eventually found out that he raped me, and the guys in my year seemed to have flipped a complete switch with me: many were repulsed, some thought that I was a wh*re, many even refused to touch my hand after finding out. This treatment made me feel unlovable and dirty, even though I didn’t do anything wrong.

I’m going into college this September, and I’m extremely nervous about meeting new people. I really want to find love- I’m a hopeless romantic lol- but I’m so scared that my past is repulsive and that I’ll never be seen as the kind, sweet girl that I can be :( This isn’t for pity, however I thought that sharing my fears and embarrassment anonymously would do good for me, and any advice on what to do with these feelings would be appreciated greatly.