u/Squeak_Stormborn

I'm 37 and I've just had my first child. It feels like school was 5 minutes ago. I was quite popular, I knew by my teens how not to get bullied and I had a wild social life. However, once I turned 30 I FIRMLY became an old woman. Not the cool kind of old woman with pink hair and a saucy sense of humour. Just old.

&gt;> Inserting an edit: I feel old. Me. I embraced it fully. I became a homebody that crochets and consciously gave up trying to be cool. I was not implying anyone else above 30 is old and I am not putting myself down. <<

I don't have social media. I don't have any idea what music is popular today. I just Googled that and 10 names I've literally never heard of came up. I don't know what clothes kids wear. We used to wear baggy tracksuit bottoms and if they weren't at least 2 sizes too big it was 'I like your tights bruv...' - now tracksuit bottoms appear to be worn like leggings. I've never listened to a podcast. I hate Tik Tok videos. We had phones, I'm not that old - but social media just wasn't a thing until we were leaving school. We wouldn't have worn second-hand if you paid us, now everyone 'thrifts'. And don't get me started on crocs. What even happened there?!

So, for those still young enough to actually know - what's school like these days? Are the popular kids still arseholes? Any tips for setting my son up for success at any given age? What's fashionable? What do you avoid at all costs? We don't want to give him a phone until 16. What's the experience of kids in school without phones now?

Thanks in advance very cool young people type dudes fam... cheerio

My little one is 9 weeks so so far we have just followed his cues and slept in shifts. Dad has him downstairs until midnight, then puts him to bed and I take over as I'm on mat leave. He tends to feed around 2, 4 and 6 am.

But I understand their circadian rhythm starts developing around the 12 week mark and we should start to develop a bit of a bedtime routine.

I'm a bit worried at how that will work. Do I have to sacrifice my evening sleep so he can be put to bed earlier rather than napping downstairs? How are you all doing it?

Obviously fed is best and this is not meant to judge anyone who formula feeds...

However I always wanted to breastfeed and unfortunately have ended up with low milk supply due to my baby having an undiagnosed tongue tie for the first few weeks. We are now combi feeding - my baby has the full recommended amount of formula per day as he's a hungry boy, and I manage to give him about 4-6 ounces of breastmilk.

My question is, how much benefit is he actually getting from this? Is there any data on breastmilk benefits by volume / ratio? Is it worth continuing as he grows? I can't find anything more than 'any amount is beneficial'... great but _how_ beneficial?!

Thank you in advance.

My baby is 5 weeks old. I'm exhausted, hormonal, and a little worried I've ruined our life with this cute little monster.

I know it's supposed to be easier when they sleep and smile - i'm holding on to that - but what other good things do I have to look forward to?

Starting to forget why I did this. Help!

Edit: Thank you so much everyone! feeling better already.

My baby will not sleep in their next to me crib so Dad is staying up and doing 9pm - 3am and I'm getting up then. it's manageable but Dad is returning to work soon, so not sustainable.

He'll sleep in the pram in short bursts, loves the nest but this is not safe sleep approved, and will sleep while held.

He is 3 weeks old. I know this is very normal - but any tips for getting him used to the next to me crib? I'm almost 40 and exhausted! Also, when is this likely to change? He's our first! Thank you.

I was induced at 38 weeks due to gestational diabetes causing a disproportionate abdominal circumference.

My perfect little boy was born 5 days later at 8 lbs 6, a little jaundiced but otherwise healthy and beautiful ❤️

Overall, the experience was positive, with a few traumatic events along the way. It ultimately ended in emergency cesarean on day 5, due to decelerations in baby's heartrate. I now know that his head was stuck in my pelvis and it's unlikely I would have successfully given birth vaginally anyway.

The staff were absolutely phenomenal throughout. There were a lot of people involved in my care, a few emergency situations, and I cannot fault a single person.

The antenatal ward was lovely. I was by a window with fantastic views, had a fan, a yoga ball, and a comfy chair for my husband, who was allowed to stay throughout (but we opted for him to go home and continue to work and sleep until established labour started). The midwives were so caring and knowledgeable, and made sure they fully understood my birth preferences. My only complaint is the complete lack of diabetes friendly options on the food menu, so my husband brought me food in.

We started with two rounds of the propess pessary, which lasted 48 hours. This softened my cervix and dilated me to 1cm but that's all.

After 48 hrs I was offered the choice between cesarean, another pessary, or the cooks balloon. I really didn't want a cesarean amd the pessary wasn't doing much so I opted for the cooks balloon.

That was, by far, the most painful thing I have ever experienced. Some people find the cooks balloon fine - for me it was excruciating. I would never go through that again.

The midwives theorised that it was because I have a severely retroverted uterus and my cervix was facing backwards completely. They needed to force it forwards for the procedure. I've since found out I also had an impacted bowel which likely increased the pressure down there, too.

Before the balloon insertion, baby had his first heartrate dip. This was the first time the emergency buzzer was pressed.

It was terrifying. Every medical proessional on the floor came out and lined the hallways as I was rushed to L&D, with about 10 people surrounding the bed. My midwife called my husband and told him to come 'NOW!'.

However, the staff were excellent at speaking to me calmy throughout, telling me what was about to happen, and reassuring me while also going through the risks. I was wheeled to the delivery suit in seconds and they began prepping me for an emergency cesarean. It was the only time I wasn't in control - they took all decisions out of my hands and told me what was going to happen. I'm grateful for that.

Then baby cheered up, the emergency buzzer was turned off, and everyone chilled tf out! The consultant gave me the choice to continue with the cooks balloon or the cesarean. I opted to continue induction. My midwife went through all my birth preferences again at this point to see if anything had changed.

I'm glad my husband came when he did because he stayed through the cooks balloon insertion which was torture, even with copius amounts of gas & air, and numbing cream inserted first. I nearly broke his hand.

We gave the balloon 24 hours and it didn't fall out but it did get me to 2/3cm. I was told I would now be a good candidate for ARM (breaking my waters) and starting the oxytocin drip. I asked for the epidural before anyone went near my cervix again.

The epidural was perfect. Highly recommend! I had a pain-free insertion that gave me perfectly even coverage. I've had no side effects, not even a sore injection site since.

Baby had a few little dips after that, which brought a consultant on board a few times but not enough for the red button again until the next day.

My little Dippy dipped again and this time the consultant said we had no choice but to have the cesarean. His heartrate did go up while I was being prepped and my husband was putting on scrubs, so they downgraded me from a category 1 emergency to cat 2.

I cried a lot on the way to theatre. My husband held one hand and the midwife held another. When we got there and they tranferred me to the table, the anesthetist took over 'operation calm the patient'. He was brilliant. He talked to me and my husband throughout, ensured we understood every step, and I felt no pain. He asked if I wanted any music, and offered to take pictures too.

My baby was stuck. His heartrate had another little dip mid surgery, so apparently they were a little more rushed than they would usually be. I felt a LOT of tugging, and at one point was being squeezed like a tube of toothpaste - but it did not actually hurt at any point.

From there it was all a bit of a blur. I heard my baby cry and they brought him round to me to kiss his face, I cried a lot, and they told my husband to go with them while they checked him over and gave him his Vit K etc. The anesthetist continued to talk to me and walk me through what everyone in the room was doing. Once they had finished with baby, they placed him on my chest with my husbands support (I was very shaky by then) and the midwife took pictures. It took about 45 mins to stitch me back up and I got my golden hour before they wheeled me into the recovery room.

The first week has been magical... but recovery is tough. The impacted bowel caused a lot of extra pain, and I have severe diastasis recti which makes it difficult to move. I have also split a few of the top layer stitches. It's impossible to 'air' the wound because the diastasis caused my belly to drop over it. I am anticipating it being infected at some point. Baby has a tongue tie so breastfeeding has been difficult but we are perservering and now supplementing with formula, which makes things a little easier. Also, side note - breastfeeding causes intense uterine contractions in the first few days. No-one prepared me for this and I thought I was dying! Be warned. It had stopped by day 3 though.

My husband has immediately become super Dad, while also caring for me and doing 100% of everything around the house. I would not have gotten through any of this without him! Ladies, you _need_ support.

My dog has appointed himself 'Chief Protector of the Baby'. It's very sweet.

Our little boy is such a cute little milk monster who never stops eating and I just cannot believe he was inside my belly! Newborn cuddles are the best. They're worth all the bad.

I wanted to share my birth story, and will stay for a little while in case I think of anything helpful to share but then I'll be off - so thank you for all the advice and solidarity throughout my pregnancy and best of luck to all of you with yours ❤️