Today my partner told me my illness is more than likely in my head and it was all influenced by others, and now that i have wonky lab results its just fueling the fire. I described my exhaustion and all they said was "you've been tired for 8 yr, you literally don't even look different." I feel so defeated and like I can't talk about how I'm feeling because it isn't believed.
What do I even do, I just want to be believed.
I feel frustrated, lost, confused. I have health issues going on, went to a doctor that ran blood panels that have never been done for me, they asked me questions none of my other docs asked, and found 4 abnormal results. One which needed immediate attention and they instructed me to go to my primary care provider. My primary was not happy I didn't go to them with my complaints even though they never listened before. In short, my primary told me I was attacking them when I brought up my concerns of feeling un heard in an office setting, told me to find a new primary care provider and then sent out like 5 referrals to other specialists since they couldn't help me. One they said they sent in was for an endocrinologist- i informed her I already have one and she said Idon'tt care, I put in a referral you probably have hashimotos and I can't help with that. And then she sent me on my way more lost and confused. I jusdon'tnt know what to do and I feel like the people closest to me think I'm actively looking for something to be wrong with me. Like i am chronically ill, I'm tired all the time and people call me lazy, or boring because I always want to stay home and rest or sleep. I'm frustrated because I don't feel like people believe me when I say I feel shitty all the time. So I have stopped telling everyone I feel bad because whats the point. But now people think I'm going down some rabbit hole trying to find a new thing wrong.
I just want answers and to feel better.
I go to a new doc office thats does more specific testing on hormones, blood levels etc. For my wacked out up and down hormones. Doc goes "seems like your birth control fixed what was bugging you, but I see you have psoriasis- lets focus on that."
Me: I'm on meds for that
Doc: cool, we're going to try the elimination diet, and do a full panel work up
Well.. the panel shows I'm not storing hardly any iron, and I'm extremely depleted.
Doc: well thats why you are exhausted all the time, let's reassess in a month after you've eliminated xyz out of your diet
Fuuuuuck me
Thankfully my household is whole heartedly doing the elimination diet with me. I'm also realizing I cant eat anything I normally eat *cries* lol
Edit: spelling error
Today I found out I have stage 3 kidney disease and my kidneys are functioning at about 45-59% their normal capacity. I knew i had chronic kidney disease, but doctors never told me at which level or anything, and to be honest to just see the diagnosis in my chart, has made me very sad and worried.
I just needed somewhere to vent this, there's nothing I can do besides doing what I have already been doing. With my chronic illnesses the doctors told me it was inevitable, but finding out through my chart and not a doctor about how far along I am made me.. idk sad? Scared? Apparently they think its not bad enough to merit a conversation but it's still scary.
I'm scared and I just don't want it to get worse.
Wtf was that even. Why even post some vague bs if you cant say a damn thing
Its been 6 days since we decided to take a break from eachother. I thought for sure you would've gotten rid of your snap chat, but no- i know you, and I know you just deleted the app so you dont constantly check it. There is so many things, small things throughout my day that I have wanted to just send. This is fucking hard, and I fucking miss you. I wish it dodnt have to be this way. I miss your fucking face, so I'll just be a creep and look at our shared photos.
We have what we lovingly call our house ghost. We noticed it the week we moved into our home when doors would randomly close, things would get moved. Our house ghost has always been nice, and light hearted. The most extreme experience we've had was the house ghost throwing our Bluetooth speaker off the counter when a particular song came on.
I was curious if our house ghost would potentially protect our home from other spirits, or let them come and go? I have felt the spirits of past pets for periods of time. But my main question is, will the house ghost stop spirits who have ill intentions from entering our home?
Thank you!