u/StarsBear75063

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

• Built this city
• Shot the sheriff

Things we didn't do:

• Start the fire
• Shoot the deputy

Things we want to do:

• Break free
• Know what love is

Things we will do:

• Rock you
• Anything for love

Things we won't do:

• That

Along with the other strippers at the club.

Bartender: "Sorry, Bud, but you have to leave."

Catalyst: "You're kicking me out? Why?"

Bartender: "Last time you were here, you started something."

The doorman said to me "It's $15 to get in but if you pay $40, that comes with a meal."

So I paid him the $40, went in, and was approached by an oiled naked guy. He says, "Hello, I'm Emile".

"Nupperime de Gallia huc volavi! Mehercule, bracchia mea defatiga sunt!"

Without any hesitation, she just gave me an evil smile and said, "Yes, it's called a throne."

Just till I get hard.

I was at the beach today and heard one girl say to another about me, "What a waist".

Lady: "How much are your pork chops?"

Butcher: "$8.50 a pound."

Lady: "$8.50? Across the street at Schwartz butchers their price is $8.00."

Butcher: "So go buy them there. What's stopping you?"

Lady: "They don't got any."

Butcher: "Well, I tell you what. Come back when I don't got any and my price will be $7.75."

For example, I have the exact same amount of sex with women.

Yelled at me, "What the fuck am I going to do with two dead dogs"?

My 17 yo gay nephew Junior comes to me for advice and snacks [mostly snacks] and he told me of a boy that he's interested in. Vanya is very straight acting and he has had girlfriends. He claims to be straight and says he would always be so.

Problem is that Vanya is dropping hints to Junior that he might like to explore gay sex..... because. I told Junior that he should just end that discussion and tell Vanya that is not going to happen. I also told Junior of my experiences with straight guys when I was his age especially right after having sex with a couple of them they started beating the shit out of me while yelling slurs.

I may be letting my 1970s viewpoint of being gay cloud the modern "enlightened" viewpoint. Still, I would prefer Junior to stay safe by only having sex with people who are undeniably and unabashedly gay.

AITA for being fearful and paranoid and telling him to steer clear of anyone who may be closeted?

I have a 2024 Nissan Pathfinder SV and would like to refit the manual rear gate to an electric one. What would it take and about how much might it be?

The position of the dirtbag.

Turns out she was talking about the smell.

Fair enough. Who ever heard of a town idiot?

I don't have a car.

Boy was I red in the face.