u/StarsInTheRoof111

I realized that scrolling through Instagram was hitting a lot of of my triggers and causing me to have all kinds of bad spirals. I have relationship/domestic violence PTSD. I got off of Facebook and Instagram by deactivating my accounts and then deleting the apps off my phone. Not only do I have so much more free time because I’m not wasting it on the abyss of scrolling, but I feel like my anxiety and my triggers have gone down a lot. Like a lot a lot. If anybody can relate to this, give social media detox, a try. It feels awesome. I’ve replaced my first thing in the morning scroll time with a physical book. 10/10 recommend.

It’s like the headline says, lol. I’m having cramps where the ghost of my uterus past lives. What gives? Anyone have this experience? I’m seeing the doctor Wednesday but I like to go with things to think of because he’s done two of my surgeries (he’s the only surgeon at the clinic) but I recognized what was going on with me intuitively nearly a year before my hysterectomy. He was a bit dismissive of my pain (ehem) but he did agree to my hysterectomy, so. Also yes I am planning to find a new primary gynecologist going forward but they said he’s going to want to be the one to address this since he did the surgery.

I’ve been on it about 8 weeks with current titration to 100. I’m feeling like my rages are popping up maybe a little less and are easier to use. I work as a dancer and being at the club has been upsetting and unbearable in recent months. The last two shifts I’ve raked up because I suddenly feel more confident and I feel like I’m giving off a happier energy. I feel a bit more able to think about positive things and to kill the negative intrusive thoughts a little better. I’m dreaming every night all night and occasionally have headaches but other than that no side effects. I think it’s finally working and I’m feel very happy that I took a chance on it.

I was telling my mom some things that I found out online recently about my abuser. I have spent some time (although I don’t think an unhealthy excessive time) sleuthing on the Internet to put together puzzle pieces of things that he told me/lied about. She told me it still gives him power over me. I don’t feel like it does, although I feel like I know what she’s saying. But I feel like when I find out information it sort of puts things to rest for me that I’ve wondered about and also helps me to study the way that people lie to protect myself in the future. Does this make sense to anybody else? I’m also going through a recent event legally that relates to this person, so it is ramping up trauma type and emotions and behaviors. I’m not saying my mom doesn’t have a point, but I wonder if anyone else relates.

I am in a new (less than a year) relationship with someone who loves me very much and I love him. Before we met he was hyper sexual and picked partners primarily based on sexual attraction from what I know. He’s told me at this stage in life he wants to have a relationship based on substance, not sex. He started Zoloft a few months before we met. He approached me a bit sexually and talked a little sexually, but not like sexting or nudes, just being a little fresh with the flirting. I liked it and I love him and I’m insanely attracted to him. Like constantly horny around him, constantly metaphorically drooling when I look at him. He told me he used to have constant sex and constantly use porn and now with Zoloft he doesn’t really think about sex. I can wrap my mind around this logically and I’ve done SSRIs before with a similar effect, so I get it.

But inside I’m SO insecure. What if I’m just the girlfriend who is stable but not sexy? (I am not exactly the most emotionally stable but I’m in therapy and work multiple jobs, I’m attractive enough to be a stripper, and I look exactly the same in my pics online as in real life, plus we did meet briefly irl before he approached me online.) I’m enthusiastic, giving and adventurous in bed. I dress cute, I am hygienic in every way, I’m fun, funny… but sex is the last thing on his mind. Cuddles? Oh hell yeah, he’s a cuddle bug like nobody’s business. He LOVES to cuddle and grabs me in his sleep like a teddy bear. I KNOW this man loves me. But I just feel so left out, like every girl before me got his sexual side and I’m not good enough to turn him on. The feeling of being naked and my boyfriend is distracted by something else makes me feel like shit. Please gentlemen, please reassure me so that I don’t harrass my poor boyfriend with my insecurities and make him feel bad. We’ve already talked about sex a few times and he feels terrible and I don’t want him to, but I feel like a creep sometimes by being attracted to the man I love.

Anyone experience night sweats when titrating up? When I moved from 25 to 50, every night I’ve been lucid dreaming and sweating profusely. I’m 37 and had a hysterectomy (kept my ovaries) so I’m not sure if it’s the meds, my hormones or both. I had my hormones checked in January and they were fine but that was 5 months ago.

I’ve been struggling today and I just need to hear some positive stuff. I started on lamotrigine probably about six weeks ago or so and I’m currently on 50 mg. I meet with my psych tomorrow and I’m gonna ask her to increase it. I feel like maybe it’s helping but also I’m still struggling pretty badly. I take Xanax daily as well. I still am having a lot of issues with mood swings, bad self-esteem to the point where I’m doing a lot of hateful self talk because it sets off a dopamine shot in my head, and I’m still having obsessive spiraling thoughts. Even suicidal ideations, which is not new or due to the medication but something that I struggle with and was hoping would go away. How long until you started feeling better? What dose helped you finally feel better? Do you take anything else with lamotrigine? I’m going through some stuff right now that’s triggering my PTSD from surviving domestic violence so my symptoms are really flaring up. I just want to believe so badly that someday I will feel better and stable. I meet with my psychiatrist every couple of weeks and I see a therapist every week but I am feeling like I need more help. Thanks in advance.

I am currently in a very healthy relationship for the first time in years. I survived domestic violence about a year and a half ago. I am doing really well with my current boyfriend and everything has green flags. He is kind, empathetic, smart, listens, and takes feedback and changes behavior when I need him to. He makes my nervous system feel very safe, and he wants a future with me and I want one with him. He is literally the man I never thought existed in this world and right before I met him. I had given up on men because I I’m scared of men and I hate most of them unfortunately.

My question is this. One of the emotional abuse things my abuser did to me was Weaponized other women against me. He made it seem like he had sex with everybody and everybody wanted him and every time I wasn’t around women came up to him asking for his number and blah blah blah. We were part of a small community that I am still part of, and he would make it seem like every girl in the community wanted him. Now that I am in a healthy relationship, that part of the trauma still exists. I hear anything about other girls, specifically my boyfriend’s recent ex who is in our community and I start having a panic attack. For the record, he doesn’t bring up girls in any sexual or inappropriate way. It’s more just like sharing a random relevant story. It’s never a story that’s making it seem like oh he misses her or anything like that.

I am doing really well trying to regulate myself and not start problems with him because I understand these are my trauma responses to heal. Has anybody ever had this issue before? Has anybody healed from it? I am so ashamed that my wonderful boyfriend’s ex lives rent free in my head like a ghost when he doesn’t want her back and doesn’t even like her as a person anymore and has never treated me with an ounce of insecurity ever. I try to keep this in mind because the most insecure men I’ve ever been with were the ones that cheated on me and lied to me and treated me with insecurity and tried to control me. I want to heal and I want to marry this man someday. We have such a great relationship and I just want to be my best self for him and myself. Thanks for reading.

I’m back from visiting my boyfriend across the country. Won’t see him again for at least a month. I got the blues bad today, I’m pretty lonely back at home. I miss just being beside him doing anything and nothing. I miss sleeping cuddled in his arms. Long distance aches so bad.

For those of you brave enough to get therapy, what was the thing that made you decide to do it? How did it go for you? I want my partner to go and he’s thought about it but hasn’t and I really think it would help. How can I be supportive? For the record I am in therapy and at my partner’s suggestion recently on mood stabilizers and he is also on SSRIs, so we both are focused on doing the work. He is new to mental health treatment whereas I’m a lifer. I think he is using the med as a cure rather than a tool.

My partner of about 8 months takes Zoloft and it works extremely well for him. He has been on it since a little before we met. From what I understand it has leveled him out substantially and has made his quality of life SO much better. I have been through some very unhealthy relationships and I can’t describe how grateful I am to have a man who tends to his mental health and is introspective.

So intimacy. I’ve been on SSRIs before so I understand the side effect. The thing is, my partner mentioned I am the first relationship he’s had while medicated and all his previous life was very sexual. I am having a lot of insecurity and I am finding myself tending to my physical needs alone in private. We are also long distance which makes times together feel more urgent, which is hard. I feel extremely loved by him but the desire is so emotionally blunted. I also feel based on some comments he’s made that there is trauma. In the beggining we had a couple fights over this topic because I have a very normal on the higher side drive and I have my own trauma around the issue. He has felt ashamed and upset over it and so I’ve left it at accepting and loving him for who he is and how the meds affect him. I don’t initiate anymore and frankly I feel scared to even talk about sex anymore because I feel selfish and I just want him to be well and not to hurt him.

Friends, what do I do? My partner’s psychiatrist and I have both said he should seek therapy on top of meds (for the record I have been in therapy and recently stared meds myself at my partner’s suggestion and I am very happy that I did and appreciate his gentle push to do it because I had been thinking about it but resistant before I met him.) I don’t want to be selfish, I love this man with all my heart and I want a healthy happy future with him. Has anyone been in this situation and figured it out? Men on SSRIs in particular, can you give your perspective? Do you want your partner to initiate? I know I need to talk to my partner, but also my therapist cancelled my appointment today cause she’s sick and I need some advice. Thanks, love to you all.