Feeling Awkward at Bfs Family Dinners.
I live next door to my bf's father and my bf. His dad invites me for dinner with the family often and generally likes me as a partner for his son. He is sweet and I am very grateful for the dinner, especially now that money is tight.
However, I feel more awkward every time I attend a dinner with the two of them. During dinner, his dad would often talk business with him, and not really about anything else. I am there, but I never really get questions, maybe one or two about my ongoing masters programme (which I dropping out of), but nothing else really (I am applying for jobs). I help clean up and play with their cat a bit, but on the inside I feel unimportant.
Dinners have become more uncomfortable. His dad comments that because I am in graduate school, I eat "cat food", I don't have much money and he know that I can't afford large meals. He and his son eat out everyday and it is unhealthy. I grew up poorer, I now realize and prefer to cook healthy meals at home. My boyfriend doesn't seem to get it and calls my meals "functional". I care about maintaining a healthy weight and keeping up my nutrition. Plus, I am on a budget.
To make things worse, he commented that it was unnecessary for me to split the bill with his son when we go out. To be honest, I split the bill with my past partners because we were both working and saw each other as equals. But, the more I try to do this in this relationship, the more I recognize it is useless, because his dad is paying for everything.
I appreciate his dad paying for dinner on my behalf, but I feel obliged to make conversation and to attend because he his my boyfriends father. My boyfriend relies on him and I have trouble feeling like he can make his own choices. Yes, I love that they are close, however, my boyfriend relies heavily on his father for advice about running his business and working with his clients. Despite this, I personally find his advice unhelpful and his son is getting run over by his clients. They talk about amounts that make me feel like my salary is insignificant, yet here I am using it to pay their mortgage. I feel frustrated because I feel like not really taken into account during discussions and the money I make it deemed an insignificant amount to them. Furthermore, my boyfriend once said he like having me there because I am nice for his dad to look at. I feel uncomfortable.
His parents have offered me rides to and from the university in their cars. I am way happier taking the bus then to be parented by my boyfriends parents on the way to university. I know they are trying to be kind, but I feel claustrophobic. It's too much for me, I just want to deal with their son.
Am I Overreacting for feeling like I need to take a step back from these dinners and focus on myself? Maybe rent elsewhere?