u/Strange_Thing_4293

After the way the clinic handled both my eggs/embryos as well as an EP/MMC, I want to switch to a better clinic. I’ll admit, when my hubby said he wanted to start our IVF process 2.5 years ago, I just found the first clinic I could and didn’t do any research (dumb move). As caring and nice as they were in the beginning, this last cycle they were horrible and I don’t feel safe or comfortable going to them again.

If you were starting over, or talking to someone who wanted advice for deciding on their first ever IVF clinic. What types of things would you want to ask when you go for consultation? What would you want to know before the process starts?

I honestly don’t even know what my point of this post is. Maybe just to vent or get some solidarity. My fiancé and I have been doing IVF. We did a transfer in June and we were so excited that we got pregnant, especially because out of 29 eggs/embryos the only one to survive was the one we transferred. We went for our first ultrasound at 7 weeks 3 days and seen the flicker of the heartbeat. We were so excited. Baby was measuring behind but dr seemed optimistic. We went back the following week and the dr left us feeling confused. Baby had grown adequately but they couldn’t find heartbeat. The resident told us they weren’t sure if it had stopped developing or if the tech was just so new that she had difficulty using the equipment. At this point I of course thought the worst but was annoyed at the dr not preparing us, telling us that “there’s a good chance they just had difficulty and were not counting it a MMC yet.” They referred us to the early pregnancy clinic at the hospital. We went yesterday and unfortunately it was that same damn resident, where we seen that last week the baby did stop developing and at this point the baby was shrivelling up. It felt so wrong and made me feel sick that I could see my baby shrivelling up to nothing. They gave me misoprostol to take which I did last night but I kept putting it off because it felt so real and I felt so wrong doing it but my body wasn’t doing what it needed to do. I’ve been in incredible pain over the night and this morning and every time I go to the bathroom I just cry again and again. I know I’m not the only one to go through this unimaginable pain but I don’t know how to cope. For me it felt worse than a natural miscarriage, I felt like I was doing the thing to lose my baby. I know that’s not true but I’m just struggling so badly with this. I know with time it will make it easier to deal with but right now I’m just so heartbroken.
They want me to go back in 10 days to make sure everything is cleared up but I can’t imagine going back there to the clinic where I got the worst news possible. By the drs with literally no sense of compassion. I honestly don’t know if I will, in my mind if I get any of the signs of infection or feel like somethings off I’d rather go to my local ED than go back there.

Thanks for reading. 🫂

I need all the tips for skin prep. I’m not a makeup person, I never have been. Slap some mascara on and go. I’ve been experimenting the last year as I’m getting married in September and refuse to pay someone to do my makeup. It’s a lowkey wedding and I want it to be simple & “me” but like, with a little flare.

I have texture issues with foundation but I’ve found that the Charlotte tilbury Hollywood flawless filter foundation feels SO nice on my skin and had such a good match. I have combination skin and I’ve found that the Blume acne system has helped incredibly. I used to have bad acne but my skin has never been more clear since using this. I also use an anti septic soap to wash my face (derm. recommendation) which has played a huge part in the acne clear up. But. My skin is still so dry in patches.
What can I do?
What is the best primer to use?
That’s my biggest issue is I haven’t been able to find a good primer. I see people recommend using a hydrating serum for prep but I don’t want to spend so much money finding one that works so is there one (or two or three) that works universally for combo skin?

Overwhelmed and may just end up doing no damn makeup lol

I need all the tips for skin prep. I’m not a makeup person, I never have been. Slap some mascara on and go. I’ve been experimenting the last year as I’m getting married in September and refuse to pay someone to do my makeup. It’s a lowkey wedding and I want it to be simple & “me” but like, with a little flare.

I have texture issues with foundation but I’ve found that the Charlotte tilbury Hollywood flawless filter foundation feels SO nice on my skin and had such a good match. I have combination skin and I’ve found that the Blume acne system has helped incredibly. I used to have bad acne but my skin has never been more clear since using this. I also use an anti septic soap to wash my face (derm. recommendation) which has played a huge part in the acne clear up. But. My skin is still so dry in patches.
What can I do?
What is the best primer to use?
That’s my biggest issue is I haven’t been able to find a good primer. I see people recommend using a hydrating serum for prep but I don’t want to spend so much money finding one that works so is there one (or two or three) that works universally for combo skin?

Overwhelmed and may just end up doing no damn makeup lol

I posted last week about baby measuring behind but having a heart beat. I went back to check growth today and although baby did grow (within adequate range) they “couldn’t find a cardiac activity but there was blood supply going to it.” The doctor said they’re not confident in the images they received from the US tech so they’re sending me to a more experienced clinic to get another ultrasound. They apologized for the lack of care I’ve received the last two weeks and the lack of answers. I bluntly asked “are you saying this is a miscarriage?” And she said “no. I don’t think our new techs are well versed enough to get the proper imaging.” Which I’d agree, it took her a good 5 minutes to find the gestational sac when I had spotted it immediately. She also couldn’t seem to figure out how to zoom in and kept sighing saying “sorry I’m figuring this out” the whole 25 minute scan. I’m left in limbo for another 1 or 2 weeks. I’m already starting to mourn the loss but I don’t even know if that’s what’s happening. I hate this so much. This clinic has been a huge let down, IVF is vulnerable as it is but I swear every time I leave I have more questions than answers.

Would I be insane to go to the hospital emerg on the weekend to possibly get answers? I’m really not sure what else to do at this point except wait which is killing me.

Update: they can’t get me in until next Friday. I asked if I go to ED tomorrow at this specific hospital if they would be able to do a proper ultrasound to see and she said they cannot give me that information. I’ll probably still try rather than wait a week.

What are your responsibilities?
What do you take on?
What is expected of you?
What do you say heck no to?

I’ve read a few posts and I’m genuinely curious on what everyone considers for their role as a step parent. What would be “overstepping” to you?

We have a blended family and we’ve just kind of fell into our roles rather than setting rules from the start, I’m just curious how others do it!

I’ve read sooo many posts that are negative. I’m losing any tiny bit of hope I can hold onto here. Does anyone have any positive experiences after being 10 days behind? The dr didn’t seem *that* worried, he said it’s not ideal but there’s a heart beat so there’s no reason to worry right now. I’m not that naive but now I’ve read stories that are making me basically believe I already lost it when I just saw the heart beat a couple hours ago.

According to my transfer id be 7 weeks 3 days, I only measured 6 weeks 0 days. I didn’t ask what the FHR was, I was so thrown off.

The tech worked so quick I didn’t even realize she saw a heartbeat… there was barely time to even see anything so I was super confused. The entire scan took 2 minutes. Maybe I’m just trying to hold onto hope but she did not seem very focused (I’ve had her so many times she’s never like this).

Anyway… hoping for positive stories. I go back in 8 days to see what happens. I’ve posted in another group as well and they’ve been great but hoping others have positives to share ❤️

I’ve read sooo many posts that are negative. I’m losing any tiny bit of hope I can hold onto here. Does anyone have any positive experiences after being 10 days behind? The dr didn’t seem *that* worried, he said it’s not ideal but there’s a heart beat so there’s no reason to worry right now. I’m not that naive but now I’ve read stories that are making me basically believe I already lost it when I just saw the heart beat a couple hours ago.

According to my transfer id be 7 weeks 3 days, I only measured 6 weeks 0 days. I didn’t ask what the FHR was, I was so thrown off.

The tech worked so quick I didn’t even realize she saw a heartbeat… there was barely time to even see anything so I was super confused. The entire scan took 2 minutes. Maybe I’m just trying to hold onto hope but she did not seem very focused (I’ve had her so many times she’s never like this).

Anyway… hoping for positive stories. I go back in 8 days to see what happens.