Struggling with life in central Maryland, not sure what to do.
I've (31M) moved to central Maryland from south Florida 3 and a half years ago for a great academic job opportunity which I am greatly thankful for. I very much liked my home state (and miss it dearly) but was excited to move to this area, being between two big cities.
But since then, I've been struggling with adapting here all this time, due to culture shock and loneliness, to the point that I am questioning if my career here is worth dealing with the difficulties. I'm considering relocating.
Things that are nice:
The weather is definitely nicer here. I still prefer warmer climate, but having all four seasons, none particularly extreme, is quite a nice balance.
Some state government aspects are actually efficient. For example, the MVA appointments are so easy compared to down south. My jaw dropped with how quick it was. State vehicle inspections are also quick.
Nice nature, Patapsco is great to have nearby, though nothing completely mindblowing.
Being relatively close to other big cities and states. Close to mountains and to the beach.
I like (parts of) DC and Baltimore.
Old Ellicott City and Frederick are nice historic areas, and make you wish things like that were more commonplace.
The politics, while not the best, are at least notbatshit insane. Considering where I'm from, it's a bit of a relief.
Things that are not so nice:
The ubiquitous suburban sprawl is pretty egregious, and traffic can be absolutely oppressive. And I don't want to hear "you have no idea how bad LA or Texas are, etc" cause comparing to the absolute worst really doesn't make it any better.
It feels like there's hardly anything to do here! and there's no sense of community, and this is coming from an introvert. It's incredibly lonely.
I've gone to various events from social newtorks like Meetup (it's what everyone suggests to use here). To start, in addition to being completely sparse, they meet insanely infequently! Many such events are at most once a month, to every other month?!?
Even in person, I hear from people, be it coworkers or random conversations striken up at bars, etc, that they like hiking. So I ask, how often do they go hiking? Well, once every other month.... If you do your 'hobby' only a handful of times per year, is that really even a hobby? Back down south you have groups that hike or trail run together every week, or multiple times a week. Hell, some would even run a 5 k then stop by at a local brewery for a post-run social! That's rare or nonexistent here. I know this is a specific example, but it really is like that with most every other hobby, and I've been exploring.
I was actually indeed fortunate enough to come across some other groups, including drawing and boardgames events that actually met weekly! But then they dissolved......because of low attendance. They were fantastic while they lasted, and I got to meet some great people momentrarily, but it couldn't be sustained because...people here don't really do anything. Not frequently or consistently at least. And on top of that, people here can be entirely inpersonal to where noone actually wants to pursue or continue discussion or friendship beyond whatever event is at hand.
And for the events that actually did stick around, they are all sprawled throughout that on a typical weekday, you drive for 40 minutes (both ways over an hour), show up to an event for 30 mins to an hour, and then you drive back and that's all of your time after work taken up, and for little gain or purpose. Social interactions and events here feel entirely transactional. You go somewhere, spend the allotted time doing whatever the original point was, and then go home, that's it. Back south, you could go to a meetup, and then continue talking or hanging out. Here, it just doesn't feel worth it. The past two or so months I've just been going staying home.
The vast majority of people here seem fall into a few categories: married or in a long term relationship (likely met in another state) and they stay home most of the time, people with kids whose nearly entire lives outside of work are around their kid's events and sports, loner people who don't do anything and stay at home most of the time.
As a result, dating here feels absolutely impossible. Like, even going out and all, it's rough to even meet people who are available for that!
And, despite all of this, there's still so many people here. I can understand people wanting to live in more rural areas for personal space, I can understand people wanting to live in more urban areas for more stimulation, but this truly feels like the absolute worst of both worlds!
I'm looking at housing prices, thinking that if I can find something affordable, even in Baltimore (if it's worth the frustrating work commute), then maybe I'd stay. Of course that's also going rough.
Probably will end up moving, not necessarly back to FL, but I have no actual direction regardless. Has anyone here lived in MD and moved away? Any regrets? Am I just missing something that I'm not seeing about this place?