u/Strict-Hand-3722

VOGLIO DORMIRE E INVECE DEVO STARE SVEGLIA A BADARE ALLA GATTA DEL QUARTIERE APPENA OPERATA COI MIEI CAZZO DI SOLDI E CONVALESCENTE IN CAMERA MIA E I SUOI DUE CUCCIOLI CHE MI MORDONO PROPRIO APPENA COMINCIO AD ADDORMENTARMI E NON DEVONO STARE VICINO ALLA MAMMA PERCHÉ ALTRIMENTI ALLATTANO E SI INTOSSICANO CON LE MEDICINE CHE HA IN CORPO, MA SE LI METTO IN GABBIA PIANGONO, SE METTO LA MAMMA PIANGE, SE LI METTO IN STANZE SEPARATE PIANGONO E SVEGLIANO TUTTI E IO NON SO PIÙ COME CAZZO DEVO FARE!!!! TUTTA OPERA DI MIA CAZZO DI SORELLA CHE HA PORTATO IL FRATELLO DI QUESTA FISSO DAVANTI ALLA PORTA DI CASA MESI FA NONOSTANTE NOI ABBIAMO UN CAZZO DI GATTO DA ANNI!!! E LA NOTTE PIANGE PURE IL NOSTRO PERCHÉ SI SENTE ABBANDONATO DA NOI E SOSTITUITO DA QUESTI ALTRI QUATTRO GATTI CHE SI SONO INFILATI IN CAMERA DOVE DORME LUI, ED IL FRATELLO DI QUESTA CHE SI È CHIANTATO IN SALOTTO!! E ALLORA CHE FA?? PIANGE LA NOTTE PERCHÉ VUOLE COMPAGNIA!! E ALLORA DEVO ALZARMI TRE VOLTE A NOTTE PER ANDARE A STARE CON LEI SEDUTA IN BAGNO O IN CUCINA E MI SENTO SVENIRE DALLA STANCHEZZA!!! E NON POSSO MANCO ACCAREZZARLO PERCHÉ ESSENDO UNA TRATA DI CAZZO MI GRAFFIA E MORDE DA FAR USCIRE IL SANGUE!!!! E IN TUTTO QUESTO GLI ALTRI FAMILIARI?? MADRE E PADRE COMPLETAMENTE DISSOCIATI E INERTI, SORELLA STRONZA CHE GIUSTAMENTE STA AL LETTO SUPERIORE DEL LETTO A CASTELLO E NON SI ALZA MAI NÉ UN CAZZO PERCHÉ LEI "È STANCA" , IO LAVORO E LEI È DISOCCUPATA CAZZO!! SONO ESAUSTA, NON CAPISCO PIÙ UN CAZZO, VOGLIO SOP9 DORMIRE VAFFANCULOOOOOOOOOOO99

Well, what the title says. My sister is 30, one year older than me.

We grew up in an emotionally unstable home, bpd mother, autistic father, single low income It's been freaking hard for both of us of course.

The problem is that my sister has become angry and selfish because of her life experience, meanwhile I've become hyperaware of everyone's needs, especially my parents'.

My mother controls the mood of the day for everyone, when she has a problem everyone's day will be shitty, through her anger and emotional abuse.

My sister has always done whatever the hell she wants, be it buying expensive shit she didn't need or just tossed aside after a bit, hung out with shitty people, let everyone come before any of our family.

When our grandma died and my sister came home from school she was just irritated that she had a headache and wanted to rest;

when our mom had a crisis every night for a year because she was in her early 20's and wouldn't come home before 5 am, she just kept it up and never gave a fuck, even if it meant that none of us would sleep because my mother was shouting and she wouldn't pick up the phone;

I became my sister emotional punching bag, with passive aggressive remarks from her to me that conditioned so many things on my insecurities and self esteem.

She always only got shitty boyfriends and cheated on a few of them too. Whatever she said that she couldn't/wouldn't do for us(her family) she always did for said shitty boyfriends.

She didn't finish university and only got a job twice, ten years ago. It lasted 6 months maximum.

She becomes a completely different person when any male person is around, acting like a textbook manic pixie dream girl, even if maybe it's a man that I like.

She says she wants to be a singer/musician, she doesn't do shit about it. Joins random shitty bands and ends up hating them every time.

Yet she's frustrated because nobody sees her art.

She makes snarky remarks towards me so many times that are truly uncalled for and they make me feel stupid or insecure, and she's done it since childhood.

She has been saying that she has ADHD for a few years now, and hasn't had a job for ten years, hasn't contributed to any expense ever, has been using a bunch of money on traveling to visit her crappy boyfriends or more stuff that she just piles up in our room.

Our room is fucking messy all the time, she can't keep anything in place, she doesn't clean, she's always just putting her needs first, no matter what, while I panic about the family and their needs.

I pay for everything for the both of us, at least to take the economical burden off of my parents, but nothing changes. I've been begging her to get a job because my contract will expire in a few months. I begged her months ago and nothing fucking happened. I can't even say anything to her because she'll get angry and super sensitive.

I paid for her fucking psychologist and medicine, nothing changed.

I try to help her, pep talk her, motivate her, support her since childhood.

Nothing. Oooh she's depressed, too sensitive, her parents were so bad to her (not really, just assholes but also afraid of going against her) She and her own people always come first and I'm losing my patience.

She has many redeeming qualities but she's so much of an ass that it's very forgettable.

Right now, I'm writing all this from our car, sitting since an hour with a freshly operated anxious cat that we had to take back from the vet because she just couldn't give up her fucking gym class (which I did, to be with the cat.)

I'm starting to hate her. She's not dumb, she understands everything and every consequence,she just doesn't give a shit.

I'm not saying that I'm the good sister and she's the bad one, i am simply saying that had we both acted like her, that woud have been easier.

I had nobody else to tell. Sorry for the long read and thank you if you made it this far.

I can't stop thinking about Elevator to the sky, and the lyrics "gone with the wind and never seen again" and the fact that he did go with the wind and will literally never be seen again.

And the fact that he won't haunts me.

My brain just keeps reminding and reminding me.

​

Oliver's music accompanied in my bad and good times, and he was a true Artist. A bright soul, a different energy.

I will always be inspired by him. It feels as if I lost a close friend, he always showed his humanity, and he's a legend for that.

​

He was just one of those people that are so full of life you see them as immortal. He left too soon. I hope he didn't suffer.

​

Rest in peace Oliver. Glow on. ❤️‍🩹

Hi all, what would you recommend as a job for an introvert autistic woman? Or a university direction? I'm 30 and I feel very lost in the world, like I don't really know how to be capable of achieving the basic things, plus I'm extremely introverted and I tend to feel uneasy around strangers.

I don't have a degree but I like to work.

I'd also like to study but I can never decide. I'm not good at math or science but I like the rest of subjects. Anything autism-friendly that you can think of? Any advice will help!

Thank you

Non so se c'è un altro sub per questa domanda ma sono curiosa, che ne so

Per me:

Ribrezzo: burro, quasi, sconquasso, squagliare, trucido, plebiscito, blasone, pesce, .. non mi viene in mente altro

Ridere: Soqquadro, rododendro, alchechengi, bizzarro, pistillo, pipistrello, placido (per ora)

Does anybody else cringe/is disturbed at your own voice?

Whenever I hear mine, recorded or live, I feel uncomfortable for its sound and the way I pronounce words. It makes me feel disgusted even, and at times really angry.

Does anyone experience this?

I once asked asked a muslim friend, if allah made this life as a test, as he always said, couldn't it be that quran is a test itself? Couldn't it be that the muslims are meant to discern what's right and what's wrong by themselves, to be a good or a bad person by themselves and to condemn what is inherently wrong, even if it's written in their holy book?

He became enraged, then spiraled and then changed topic, but I think that mine was a reasonable question.

But of course, a moose could never even consider it. It's so interesting.

Isn't allah "the greatest deceiver" after all?