u/Substantial_Coffee43

My god, this little 1940s house it’s endless! Hindsight is 20/20 ofc and I can see how we should’ve prioritized projects differently. Especially when it comes to the order of projects and things we definitely should’ve done before moving in. It’s like one step forward 2 steps back. So frustrating to have done projects but it’s like a jigsaw puzzle, everything seems to be a rock and a hard place. Like can’t just add a dormer bc the roof angles don’t work. Money is one thing but the time.. I mean I enjoy some of it but all our time?

Currently the yard is what’s killing me. Just the compacted clay dirt with weedy grass ugh..

Sure I’d love a no lawn yard full of perennials and native shrubs but you have to plant and then keep it alive during our no rain summers.

Can anyone relate to any of the above? And how did you deal with it or did you just throw up your hands?

Larger context without going into too much detail. They are hurt and disappointed but you feel truly and honestly you did nothing wrong. I believe This is about their core wounds, and the perceived slight is nonexistent. The way they told you was admonishing, and somewhat self righteous. How would you respond?

Edit: I am far from thoughtless. I’m always the hyper vigilant friend, the listener, the helper. The difference now is realizing I’m burning out, my job, my over functioning in my family, and I’m not as available. She’s upset bc she needed more than I had to give recently, even when I told her I was maxed out and overwhelmed. she still felt the need to call me out and say I hurt her feelings.

My goal is layered landscaping, things that are hardy, some interest in all seasons. Room for some blooming annuals for fun.

The hot dry summer location of my yard (NW facing intense afternoon sun) and dense terrible clay makes it so damn hard. I’ve lived other places where things just grow and thrive easily.

It’s very frustrating, makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. I do take forever to decide what to plant because I want to choose right plant, right location etc. so it is a very slow process.

Not to mention the amount of water now needed at the beginning and late summer, as our dry season is extending. I’m trying to have a less is more approach with plants and thoughtful placement. However, it’s still too bare now.

Selling from your own closet, low-mid range items do you think it’s actually worth the time? It always makes me feel better that maybe I got some of my money back on an item I barely wore or on a posh purchase that didn’t work out. Now I’m wondering if this is just sunken cost fallacy and if I’d be better off not spending time on the app, mailing stuff, measuring things, messaging with buyers.. it all adds up. Minutes turn into how many hours, if I added up the pay by hour I get I’m sure it’s paltry.

I know it’s going to be different for everyone but just curious if anyone else if feeling this way?

We are not actually married, been together almost 20 years, since age 30. I won’t get into all the reasons I feel so incredibly done. I don’t hate him, he’s not a terrible human. We are family, we are old friends. We just have lost the spark and I don’t see how it can return. I crave my own space and not have to roommate with someone who often just sadly annoys me.

We both are transplants where we live, but both have our own friends of 20+ years.

We own a small old (1940s) house and I’d say we’re middle class. As everyone knows life has become more and more expensive, just owning a car, house repairs, groceries. Not to mention buying a different home late in life with interest rates now.

I am still trying to catch up in saving adequately for retirement. A separation or “divorce” would financially make our lives so much harder.

Would considering building an ADU for him on the property, for us to live separately be totally insane of me? I can’t see how splitting and struggling financially would be better, I’d be trading one set of problems for another.

Small bed maybe 6 x 4 directly in front of house, wanting to put in just “foundation” plants. The challenge is dense clay once you get about 6 inches down, and first half of the day shade then intense sun and heat from 2 pm in summer. Some plants I’m considering are hostas, Karl forester grass, oxeye daisy. I’m open to native plants as well just need to see what might tolerate these conditions. Nootka rose maybe? Any advice welcome

Any ideas? Thanks!

It’s such small potatoes to me, I sell stuff I thrift for cheap for myself and some don’t work out so I list. This buyer created a bundle and offer, I accepted and shipped. I wasn’t tracking the package but they seemed to get it pretty quickly for address.

So they message and say pants are navy not black I’m like okay, whatever I’ll send you a partial refund if you are going to keep the top. I added that they don’t need to “return” the pants. This convo is all under the sale with passport included. They decline the refund and respond in the comments section of the item.. isn’t that weird? Saying they want a refund for both.

I sell from my own closet and pretty minimal. I really should have known better but I’ve used stock photos in the past and now realize technically this is not allowed. Is it worth worrying about and contacting posh to take down sold items photos? Or would you just change your practice going forward?

The huge bummer is things seem to sell way better with stock photos :(

So I basically have a large bald spot right in the front and center of where the “bush” should be, a little hair above that and a lot of hair (longer? Straighter?) below around labia, vagina. It’s so depressing I really hate how it looks. I’ve trimmed closely and meh, next I’m going to try a Brazilian. Not really my thing, but the balding patchy bush is too much. 😭This is about me not pleasing a man or anything. Also bc I have upcoming travel and swim suit so I don’t want to be bothered. Overall makes me sad, my meno hit early/mid forties and this issue makes me feel less sexy :(

I miss the hair. Anyone else sad about this?

I find that all my natural fabric items, linen, wool, silk stretch easily on hangers. I don’t hang sweaters but even thicker wool jackets bulge wear the hanger hits. Definitely true for linen button downs as well. Do you fold everything?

I just sell from my own closet so I don’t have to move items quickly. I k own some items just won’t sell, some things I’m not quite ready to donate so want to try a re-do. If something doesn’t sell, would you advise to..

create a new listing? Copy the listing? Just leave it as is?

I actually don’t know how to copy a listing.

Should I skip the multiple OTC products and just get an Rx for Tretinoin?

I was at Costco yesterday and almost got sucked into buying things on impulse with the promises shown on the packaging.

For example, ROC hyaluronic acid and caffeine eye cream, StriVectin Vit C/Retinol Serum.

My “problem areas”: crows feet, dull complexion, freckles (but Irish heritage, I have freckles all over).

I have used the ROC retinol correction eye cream and it seems kinda helpful(??).

I’ve been thinking I’d get a Rx for Treinoin but just haven’t don’t it.