u/Sudden_Silver2095

I recently pivoted to software engineering after years in developer support work.

My current company strictly forbids references for currently employed. It is not a psychologically safe culture where I can ask my coworkers, it’s a small team ran by the CTO who claims giving references is company betrayal. Ive been here 1.5 years and ready to explore other options.

To get this job, I used my software engineering internship reference from years ago. I recently tried to reach out again, and discovered they passed away 6 months ago. 💔 I feel awkward asking the rest of the team as they never worked with me. And the rest of my references pertain to my previous developer support work, so I have no one to vouch for me now.

I started networking and marketing my work to find a new reference. I know I can do it, but I must admit, I am low on free time, and stuck in a living situation that I need to get out of. It will be awhile.

I’m doing everything I can, on the rare chance that this sub works, would anyone be willing to vouch for me? In return I will be happy to provide ongoing support for your work.

Not networking early in your career has long-term consequences. If you get good feedback, ask for a written testimonial while you can. Don’t wait until you feel “qualified.”

I’m now a software engineer again after years of developer support work, doing fullstack platforms and data engineering again. But my current employer prohibits references. Recruiters repeatedly tell me my testimonials don’t demonstrate my engineering experience, and I’m consequently being funneled toward support roles despite being overqualified.

I tracked down my old manager today to finally ask for explicit permission to publish the testimonial, only to learn they’d passed away suddenly last year. I’m heartbroken. And I can’t find or remember anyone else from that team.

Also wanted to feature their review on my website, but they were data privacy nerds. I know a recruiter won’t be able to verify them with a quick google search. It would be so helpful to have someone be the source for their testimonial who can actually be verified.

I’m looking for someone who can genuinely vouch for my software engineering work with a verifiable testimonial/reference. Not asking anyone to lie for me. Just look over my work and vouch. I’m from a minority background and don’t have technical connections in my personal life to ask.

If you’re willing to help, please DM me. I’m happy to return the favor however I can. ❤️ RIP to the best manager I ever had :(

I am frequently told I don’t look like an engineer (I’m conventionally attractive and dress professionally) so I always follow up with “what career do I look like?” And I have yet to get a real answer on that. Best answer I got was “secretary”, the rest just don’t answer. Seriously, I would really like to know lmfao. I guess all I know now is a woman dressed professionally = secretary, that’s it? What other jobs do I “look” like? What jobs will I not “surprise” people with my looks? I really want to know lol!

Edit: I wear slacks, professional top, flats / sneakers / boots, and slick back hair, with glasses. No makeup besides concealer and clear mascara to look awake. Sometimes I wear cute computer themed earrings lol. This is how I prefer to dress. Sometimes I wear jeans and a tech hoodie in the winter.

Edit 2: The people who answered “secretary” are from my personal life, people I would expect that answer from.

I played on PC but finally bought the iOS app over winter. It was too grindy for a mobile game imho because I struggle with video game addiction thus I try to keep games off my phone. But I also love soothing mobile games that are easy to put down whenever I need a lil mental reset in my day. Now that I’m late game, I can finally just chill and put the phone down after 10 minutes lol. Mindlessly decorating, doing random tasks, farm chores, and even some role playing is fun for a soothing mobile game! Anyone else have late game saves on mobile they plan on playing forever?

Ive used Canva on and off for 5 years. Used to be one of my favorite apps.

This year, I have canceled Canva twice now. First time I got charged again, but I doubted myself since I didnt see a cancellation confirmation email, even though I had detailed memory of me cancelling it. I searched all my emails and found subscription cancellation confirmation emails from 2025 and 2024, so you’d think they still send those right?

So second time I cancelled, I took photos of the cancellation confirmation on the website in case I didn’t receive a confirmation email. I was certain I had cancelled it before, but Canva made me doubt myself.

Two weeks later, they notify me of payment failure (I cancelled that card). I log back in, it says my subscription is still active. Still no cancellation confirmation email to be found. This directly contradicts the screenshot I took two weeks ago of me cancelling my subscription.

How predatory that they send emails for absolutely everything under the sun, but when it comes to cancellations, they just don’t do that anymore? Perfect gaslighting system to steal people’s money.

This is criminal. Used to be one of my favorite women-led tech companies. Now I will never give it another dime. Broke my trust completely.

Most of my career is remote so background checks vary, however, I am open to jobs in Maryland. For context, my career is competitive, but I am a competitive candidate. Also not a clearance-required field.

Recently, I was charged with a violent misdemeanor, despite doing nothing wrong or illegal. The cops shouldn’t have charged me, so the charge was dropped without me needing to go to trial. But instead of just dropping the charges, the state mistakenly scheduled me for trial, put it on public record, and then cancelled & dismissed it. Now I am awaiting expungement to remove it from public record, but that will take up to 3 months. My lawyer is advocating for expedited expungement due to the state’s fuck up. Otherwise, I have a clean record. But in my career, there is zero tolerance for violent history. I am nonviolent and a victim in all of this.

Is it common for dismissed, but not expunged, charges to show up on background checks? And if so, does it often result in rejection? Wondering if I can start looking for a new job yet without guaranteed rejection.

I found a TikTok account by a dollar tree employee who showcases new items, including HBC products. I forgot the user name. Wondering if anyone has any resources for finding out about new HBC products at Dollar Tree? I like this sub but it would be cool to find something that specifically focuses on new products.

Curious how do you use your DT skincare beyond just the directions on the package?

- I buy jojoba & avocado oils at Trader Joe’s and infuse them with the DT turmeric capsules and chamomile from my garden, then add it to my Dermisil day and night creams. Heavenly.

- I use the psoriasis cream on surface-level pimples, and a wart on my finger. It’s so effective!

- Whenever I accidentally irritate my skin trying new products, I use the diaper rash cream as a mask. If I put it on immediately after removing the irritating product, my skin recovers very quickly within an hour. Saves me so much time & trouble, and I learned that trick on this sub!

- My face hates niacinimade, but my body skin loves it. I use it the rv revive wipes on my booty cheeks after workouts, and no longer struggle with constant butt pimples from sweating in workout gear.

- The GBC blemish spot treatment didn’t help my acne, but it was so effective on dark spots and acne scars. I use it on my arms in the morning after the Xtracsre Smoothing lotion at night. The smoothing lotion rids my KP bumps, and the spot treatment lightens the dark spots left behind. 🤌

What are some tips and tricks you’ve discovered that work for you?

I have tried the VO5 gloss, Spathory Shea gloss, Beyond the Zone gloss spray, bpure hair oil, and the prickly pear gloss.

All of them except the prickly pear gloss has weighed down my hair or made it feel dryer / stickier. The prickly pear gloss was perfect! The bpure hair oil was second best but I’m not crazy about the scent.

Unfortunately I lost the prickly pear gloss at a motel after only having it for 1 day. 😂 It doesn’t seem to be coming back? I haven’t seen it in any of my stores or posted anywhere in awhile. All the other products in that line are being restocked except the gloss?

Any other hair glosses I’m missing? And has anyone seen the prickly pear gloss restocked recently? Thanks!

Question in the title. My skin town is true pale olive and I use a light / medium taupe brown eyeshadow daily from color pop that I would love to replace with a DT alternative. I’ve purchased a few la color eyeshadows but they are all too orange for my skin tone. Any recommendations? Thanks!

Never ever underestimate the damage a narcissist can do onto your life even within a short amount of time. I almost married a narcissist who lived a double life 10 years ago. We were together for 5 whole years. He cheated, gaslit, smear campaigned, but never pulled anything as bad as the narcissist I dated for 6 months.

Recently, after 10 years narc-free, I found myself dating a narc again. When I tried to leave, peacefully, he went as far as to FRAME ME FOR A CRIME I DIDNT COMMIT just to “get back.”
And because I was completely caught off guard as to why the cops showed up, and was legally naive, I accidentally said incriminating things despite being the victim.

The situation is… I moved in with someone I was dating for 5 months, temporarily in between apartments. I only moved in one suitcase and my workstation because I work remote and put everything else in storage.

I discovered he was a narcissist by how little respect he had for my career, hobbies, and plans to move into my new apartment. He was insanely jealous of it and always looking for sabotage my work. He also became addicted to gaming on my workstation PC, and felt entitled to it even if I was working.

Mind you this was someone a good friend of mine vouched for as being one of the kindest people they know.

Anyway, breaking up would result in him physically hurting me and damaging my property. So I made a plan to move out my stuff in secret. Then block him. On the day, he was so offended that I was taking my work PC out of his house (I told him I was visiting my mothers and needed to bring my work with me as I always do, but the plan was to get it out and block him) that he threw it and broke it. My most prized possession where all my work and hobbies live. He destroyed it.

As he was throwing it I tried to stop him verbally which failed so I shoved him once which also did nothing and of course resulted in zero injuries because that was not my goal. He was cornering me in the middle of it. In my state what I did was completely legal.

So I gathered my stuff and fled out the door. I was met with the cops. Within 1 minute apart he managed to call the police and claimed I beat him. He asked the cops to forcibly remove me from his home because I was “retiliating from him breaking up with me.”

From the start cops treated me like a flight risk because I was running out the door. And Because I was legally naive and overwelmed I told them the truth. Because I admitted to the shove they charged me.

The cops left us at the scene and my ex immediately switched personalities back and tried gaslighting me into thinking I was a terrible abuser and he was such a great guy for loving an abuser like me. He also said he would be repurposing my PC parts to build his own. And that I owe him the PC parts.

Even when trying to peacefully leave a narc I barely dated and knew, his narcissism was so extreme that feeling merely jealous of my career motivated him to file a false police report to ensure I will have no career even when I leave.

If a narcissist ever calls the cops on you despite you being the victim, DO NOT TALK TO THE COPS.

Currently I am awaiting trial. Because it’s a domestic case the state is charging me. There is ample evidence in my favor and zero but my “admission” in his. But because of this pending charge I have lost my job, and virtually all adjacent work is no longer an option. I have developed my career over 10 years and don’t prioritize other things in life because I’m blessed to work in my passion. I may end up losing it all now.

It is very unlikely I will be convicted. So it’s a 50.50 chance between the case being dismissed, or something called a “stet docket” where I am not convicted but it exists on my record and leads to discrimination that is functionally equivalent to being a convicted violent felon.

Again, if a narc is abusing you but they call the cops on you, do not talk to the cops.

Question in the title. Looking for a nail oil to keep nails healthy, not necessarily remove cuticles. Ive looked at many DT stores but usually can’t make it until after the nail section has been bought out. Finally asked DT staff the best time to come so I’m hoping I find more options next week. Thanks!

It’s my third save and I just discovered all monsters receive permanent health, attack, damage buffs after you reach lvl 120 of the mines and obtain the skull key. I believe the buffs are random, but can result in doubling their HP.

So this playthrough, I just stopped at floor 115 at end of year 1, and spent all of year 2 revisiting the mines to complete all possible monster slayer goals (slimes, rock crabs, duggies, bats, skeletons, dust sprites, void spirits, insects). The monsters seemed much easier to defeat! Now it’s end of year 2, and I have lvl 10 combat & mining, plus multiple powerful rings, all before even reaching the skull cavern!

Also, I made sure to do the wizard bulletin board tasks first so I could obtain Monster Musk. This helped massively!

Finally visited lvl 120, obtained the skull key, and made it to the skull caverns. The skull caverns are MUCH EASIER from the start now. Now it’s time to focus on getting married & children before grandpa visits next year… lol

Highly recommend this tip!

Edit: There’s debate whether this is worth it as reaching lvl 120 enables monsters to spawn prismatic shards and find better weapons which may offset the difference for you. I didn’t know that.

In this save, I defeated monsters in 1-3 hits depending on the floor level, found a level 9 sword with artful enchantment, and used the monster mission reward rings. In previous saves, I always avoided enemies, reached lvl 120, could barely survive in skull caverns at first, and struggled with the monster missions. So maybe it does offset, but I wouldn’t know lol. This may be less of a tip, and more of a play preference.