u/SunilaP

I honestly don’t have it write everything for me it’s mostly I write my own content. Insert it have it fix the grammar and make it flow better.

Majority of it is my words.

Apparently there will still be a watermark ?

I have an open bite and several dentists/orthodontists have passed on me saying I need surgery. But this was 3 years ago and I just gave up. I refuse to spend $20k on jaw surgery.

But then I saw oeople on tiktok posting about their open bites and getting invisalign. So I know there is hope.

I had a dentist who wants to take me on but said I need two tooth extractions to push my underbite back.

I know there is hope!

Reccomendations of dentists/orthodontists to look into!

Guys, it’s the gym.
My gym has CO ED steam room/sauna. Girls walk in with two pieces, or wrapped in a towel. Nonetheless, the sexual thoughts that I say in my head are… sexual.

I know its the porn addiction I suffered from.

Even when I’m out and I’d see a hot woman, just wanting to eat her out comes into my mind.

It’s so bad, I know.

What do I do? Just breathe? Look away?

I think this is whats been holding my bsck in my journey.

I’ve gotten clarity on my
Life, feel sexier, hotter, confident. Not stressing the future the way I used to.

But its the lust.

Help 😢

Location: New York State.

I am a seasonal summer server at a restaurant in New York state, working from Memorial Day weekend to Labor Day. There is illegal manipulation happening with our tip pool, but we are kept completely in the dark because we don't have access to the records and have to log into a manager’s computer just to see anything.

Since I am new, I receive a 0.8 point distribution in the tip pool for my 4:00 PM to 12:00 AM shifts, while backwaiters (bussers) receive 0.5 points.

Seniority in servers/captains dont receieve a higher hourly wage. They just get more points.

We do not have any floor managers; instead, our General Manager allows the floor captains to behave as managers, granting them full supervisory authority to direct our work and cut employees. These same captains who hold manager level power are actively participating in the tip pool, claiming a high 1.1 or 1.2 point distribution, and they are even the ones calculating and distributing the tips.

One specific captain aggressively targets, yells at, and scolds me while ignoring other staff. If he helps me, I’m met with scolds on how “i cant manage my section” but when he helps his friend, everything is fine.

To maximize his own financial payout, this same captain constantly cuts servers off the floor the exact second they finish a table so he can hoard the remaining tips. It’s pretty obvious thats what he is doing. Other servers say the same.

When I tell him there is still plenty of closing work left to do like cleaning and bussing, he dismisses it and says not to worry because the backwaiters will handle it, effectively forcing them to do all the physical labor while he pockets our tips.

A fellow server emailed HR about this and the next day she was asked in the office to talk about the mistakes shes making on the floor. She said its so convenient that it happened after that email was sent.

What can I do?

I’m pretty introverted but get extroverted when I’m with a table.

I feel like in the last 10 years I have worked in this industry. I’ve always been targeted by management and I never understood why. I don’t really engage in conversation with much of my management. I just say hi, do what needs to be done maybe make a comment here or there but that’s about it.

If I bond well with my fellow servers, bussers, runners then they see more of my personality.

I know who I am as a server and I know that I’m very good with people, can make sure a table has a good time, and know how to make sure these people come back.

But for some reason, I feel like I do not get the shifts that I want, I feel like there’s favoritism in all the jobs I’ve had including the one I’m at now. The ones who suck up to management and kiss ass and always talk to them somehow always get the best shifts.

But me? I dont. I’ve never had a table complain about me, yet I’m always watched 👀 by management.

Like.. youre my boss. What do u want from me? I refuse to get on my knees for you, but apparently that’s what managers in restaurant industry want?

I’m so done.

Anyone have a same experience?

I work as a bartender in the city and have bounced between other bars/restaurants.

Everytime I start a new place, I meet new people. Especially women. I’m pretty masc, fit, beard and chill. I dont like being the center of attention

I started at this new place and can sense the women are all over me. They dont know I’m gay. I’m more dont ask dont tell but decided to tell this one girl and her face dropped. “You’re gay?… really..??” And now we’re closer and she tells me about all her dates, etc.

I cN say the same about last years job. Women were all over me. And then I come out, or someone gossips about me and they are bummed.

Now I am flattered, honestly.

But I usually get ghosted by a gay the very next day after a hookup or a date. We can literally have the best time together and I’ll never hear from them again.

Can someone help me explain this?

I usually go to a different location but since I was meeting a friend in Hell’s kitchen, I decided to just work out there.

Like other locations its a co ed steam room and sauna. I just want to know. Does it really happen? Or do guys just take it to the shower?

I was raised by parents who were extremely anxious and showing NO affection to me. My mom barely hugged me and never told me she loved me, never gave me compliments. Same goes to my dad. He never really let me make decisions of my own. My decisions always had to be HIS.

So now I’m in my 20s completely fucked in the head. Insecure, socially awkward, not happy with life choices.

Im about to his 90 days and I honestly feel this journey is nothing if your nervous system is disregulated.

My nervous system is fucked.

I deleted all social media off my phone. But I still find myself going out into the city constantly anxious by what could go wrong in life, always staring at woman, hoping they would notice me. Anxious about the future and career.

I meditate, listen to affirmations but it doesnt seem to do much.

What can I do? I feel this will definitely help my journey. I know healing the nervous system can take years.

EDIT*** the reason I mention my parents is because I know that that set the foundation for myself. I feel like in my adult life I find myself constantly seeking love, approval, attention because let’s be honest. I got none of that as a kid. I’m not saying I want Hugs and love from my parents now, but I know that has affected me deeply.

Please tell me that I’m not the only one I know I’ve seen other comments where people said that every few hours they find themselves on YouTube trying to figure out where to go.

I work pretty much 45 hours a week and on my days off I just wanna relax and have a good time, game. But this game makes me feel lost, and stressed most of the time. The game is beautiful, and I do love the gameplay, the fights but again I feel like I spent so much time trying to figure out where to go. It’s just not fun anymore. Based on YouTube, I think I have about four hours left of the game, but it’s been a month since I’ve started.

What to do and am I the only one lol

I believe I am close to 70 day streak. This is the first time I on this journey. But man around 40 days I hit depression and low energy, no sex drive.. Now? I'm depressed this, sad, lonely, but horny AF. My hard ons are fully erect and bigger than I've ever seen it.

My question, is it normal to feel lonely? Desperate for attention? I found myself responding to girls DMs on Instagram, some responded some left me on read which left me feeling even more depressed lol.

I've decided to simply delete IG off my phone and take a break from it. I've felt better and realized not having it can be me better.

Anyway, I just want to know if this is part of the journey and what do u guys do when u feel this way?

I’m not saying I want to cruise in their coed steam room. But I know aside from amenities (hot tub, steam, sauna) its a good place to make conversation. I just feel I dont have many gay friends. Would like to make new buddies, even dates.

My tmpl gym location is not the hk location but it can be

Title.

Captains do not wear the same uniform as us. They walk around in dreas shirts, ordering servers and bussers what to do, ONLY take a table when you need help but thats it. On top of that, captains get the most money because of their title. WE as servers are doing most of the work.

GM does not want to hire floor managers because it’s obvious he doesn’t wanna pay salary so instead he makes the captains do manager type stuff and they are included in the tip pool.

This is unfair and feels shady.

I just hit TWO MONTHS 🎉 and ai feel I’m still in this flatline.

The first month was gold. I noticed my skin cleared. Men and women checking me out in supermarket, gym, public transit.

But the 2nd month I felt sad, depressed, lonely. Desperate for attention.

I would reach out to girls on IG, responding to their stories asking to hang. This is one of the questions I had. Are we NOT supposed to be doing this? Or should we wait for them to reach out. I’m confused.

If someone flirts with us, do we flirt back?

But I know no porn, touching yourself. But what else should we be NOT doing?

I deleted all dating apps. Working out more. Running.

I’m about to hit two months next week. I’ve been in this flatline for the last 2-3 weeks: sadness, emptiness, depressed, no energy, desperate for attention.

I read and saw lots of YouTube videos that exes and people from your past usually return during this journey.

A week ago AN EX reached out to me. We ended on bad terms (cursed each other out, said shit) back in 2019. She’s had narcissistic tendencies during out time. She was Depressed, manipulative and I was an idiot with no self esteem and did anything I could to get her to stay.

Then post pandemic we both rekindled, even facetimed. She lives in a different state. And we would casually text, here and there. We have each other on IG.

A week ago she randomly hits me up that’s shes back in town and wants to meet. I wasnt sure what to do. We agreed for a Monday in the afternoon.

Monday comes. She texts me and I tell her I am free at 5:00. We agree. And now I’m getting a littlr excited, I feel like I need some kind of dopamine. My boss asks me if I can stay later and I tell her unfortunately I cant.

Then I do my errands and lowkey getting excited to reunite. I call her to confirm where and what are we doing. She doesnt answer then tells me to text her.

She asks if she can meet me at my place and I tell her no cause my roommate is home. I have a lot of restaurants nearby and a park we can walk to. She asks if 5:00 I’ll be ready. I tell her yes.

Out of nowhere she hits me up with “okay heres the plan. I’m going to be with my friend until 8:00pm and then I can come over to you with my stuff since you live by the airport” she tells me her flight is the next day at 6am.

Now I’m upset. She was either using me for a ride to the airport or a place to crash until her flight. I dont know.

We agreed to 5: 00 then you change last minute.

I tell her “lets just plan this better next time you’re in town” and I left it at that. Knowing this was hands doen the last time I talk to her.

Then she tells me “damn (name)”

I spent all night feeling bad, upset that I even agreed to meet up.

But heres the thing… 2019 version of me would have said “ok sure” and waited.

So I’m supposed to just wait 3 hours ? No. Thats not how it works. I lost out on hours at work. I could have worked extra that night.

Boys. If your ex reaches out during this journey… just run.

Thanks for reading

I liked the movie, still trying to understand it. Last year I ate a higher dose of edibles and then ate food with a lot of fat and I took off. It was as if I was trapped in my own body, in my own mind.

I cant even explain it. It’s…. Yeah I cant even find the words to describe. It’s like every thought in my mind was some empty room that I couldnt escape and anxious thoughts kept flooding. Painful memories and trauma resurfaced.

I hope someone who understands what i’m saying can help put into words

Tomorrow will be Day 42. This whole week my brain felt foggy. Tired. I didn’t want to be at work.
I was anxious. I also felt pretty lonely this week not going to lie.

I still feel inna good mood, I feel a little (not a lot) more confident but ai i know I’ll get there.

I’m working out more, dieting, steam room/sauna and cold plunge 4-5 days a week.

But man days 1-30 it was a fun ride. I slept so good, full energy, happy all the time.

Is my brain rewiring ?

I think I’m Day 37 I believe. I keep seeing how some people say they need to lower their “gaze” and stop checking women out.

I exchanged my number with a girl and we’ve been texting. Another one was hitting me on, I flirted back. We talked. Numbers exchanged.

I dont plan on ejaculating but my question is… what do we do with when we are getting hit on? “Just say thanks and turn around? Lol.

Looking for feedback.

I cant believe I decided to do this during summer lol this will be a fun challenge. Been horny all week.

Hey guys. I’m trying to network more and put myself out there. Mid 30s here. Masc guy. Not really into bars or circuit parties which I know is how most gay men meet but I tried the circuit parties and its really not my thing.

Gamers, runners, mma classes. Things like that.

Thanks guysb

I am 35. My entire life has been chasing. Chasing money. Chasing relationships. Chasing and chasing and more chasing. I felt like a hamster on a wheel. I'd get ghosted before a 3rd dtae and havent had a relationship in a decade. Yes. A decade even though I've been craving one.

My dating attachment can be a mixture of anxious and avoidant, and I admit my faults and know a lot of this shit stems from childhood. So I continued to work on myself. Journal and meditate. But nothing was clicking because I finally figured it out: I just didn't love myself. That's the answer. I didn't love myself. I was able to get dates no problem, off the apps, etc. And I am a good-looking guy, I just don't see it most of the time.

I've been chasing a career in film for the last decade and no luck. I felt there was blockage everywhere I went, and I have no clue how or what happened. Blockage. Everywhere. So now I'm still working service jobs to survive, but I don't know how much longer I can take it.

This past December-March, I was depressed. I was depressed about life, my finances, being single. And I didn't know what to do. I took a selfie and saw how sad my eyes were.

I would jerk off 2-3 times a day and have mindless hookups that NEVER went anywhere. Ghosted after, etc.

I realized I hadnt jerked off in a week and then Idk.. I stumbled on semen retention and decided to take on this journey.

One month later.

Better sleep. Face has lit up a little more. No sugar cravings: candies, chocolates. The body is looking a little better as I have been hitting the gym more.

I get stares and smiles out on the street. and LOOKS. Yes, LOOKS. They stop and stare, look back as we keep walking.

Havent gone on any dates yet and until I finally feel that I love the man I see, I will go on dates. But right now... your boy is charging.

How much longer will I go? I'm not sure. But this will be my summer goal.

Thank you gentlemen. Keep going. Stay busy. Join clubs. Get a 2nd job. And most importanly, love yourself because if you don't, no one will.