u/TFA_hufflepuff

We go to a semi-large pediatric practice. Three locations, roughly 20 providers. There are a lot of benefits to a larger practice that I really appreciate. When we first started going to this practice when my oldest was a baby I would just see any provider that was convenient for when I wanted to come in. No preference, just whoever was there that day. It wasn't until my second was a baby that I saw a provider that I really clicked with, and he asked me to schedule a follow up visit for the thing we were there for that day, so I scheduled it with him. After the second visit I decided I liked him enough to start scheduling our appointments with him any time we were offered a choice in our provider (so pretty much anything aside from sick visits).

My middle needed frequent weight checks for her first two years, and then I had another baby so of course we were there multiple times for the first 18 months because of the well visit schedule, so basically I haven't gone more than 2-3 months without seeing their pediatrician in about 3 years.

Near the beginning of this year my middle started having some weird symptoms that were not going away. We saw our regular pediatrician twice, and then got referred to a specialist. And then another specialist. And today we saw her pediatrician again for her 4 year well visit, where of course we discussed her on going mystery illness. He overruled the last specialists decision to wait and monitor, and put in labs for us to get done today. He mentioned the possibility of a third specialist depending on the results. And honestly I was just so so grateful. Grateful I had a doctor I knew I could trust. Grateful I had a doctor that was familiar with my kid, and what her normal was. Grateful for the continuity of care between specialist visits. I am just so so glad I took the time to establish a relationship with a consistent provider instead of just continuing to see whichever doctor was there that day.

I know these large practices are very common, and I'm sure many of you are doing what I was doing at first and not really picking a specific doctor within the practice to see regularly. But I am here to tell you it is SO worth it. If anything out of the usual ever comes up with your child's health you will be soo glad you have a doctor you are familiar with whose opinion you know you can trust.

I came home with tears in my eyes because I know her doctor cares and is looking out for us and I just couldn't be more thankful for that.

tl;dr almost 2 yo is being rough with new kitten, is it fair to the kitten to keep it?

Two weeks ago I rescued some kittens that were living under a shed by my husbands business. We fostered them for a bit, got the mama cat spayed, and found homes for them. The kids really liked the kittens, and I had been kicking around the idea of getting cat recently anyway, so we decided to keep one. We moved it upstairs a few days ago (we were previously keeping all of the kittens in the basement) to be with the family. She is very small, only around 1.5 lbs or so.

I have a toddler who turns 2 next week, so she's still very young and hard to reason with. She will. not. stop. picking up the kitten! I try to stay close by but we have two other kids and I also have human needs like needing to pee y'know so it's just not always feasible to look over her shoulder 100% of the time. She can be really rough when she handles her, she doesn't understand what hurts her. She tries to "tickle" the cat instead of just petting her gently. She picked her up by her tail, and by a single back paw.

I always intervene immediately when I see her handling the cat, and I have even been giving her short time outs when she picks her up in an attempt to get her to stop. But I am second guessing if this is really fair to the kitten. Should we find a new home for this one, too? The kids will be devastated because we already told them we were keeping one. But I just don't know how to get her to stop terrorizing the poor kitten, and I physically cannot be her shadow 24/7. The dumb cat hasn't learned to run away from her yet, she just keeps walking right up to her 🤦‍♀️

Has anyone ever successfully adopted a kitten with a toddler in the home? Any tips for keeping the kitten safe from the tiny tyrant?

I'm not saying I'll never take my kids on any vacations or anything like that. We actually just bought an RV for the explicit purpose of taking more trips with our kids. But those trips are for them, not for us.

I see so many posts from people saying oh you don't have to stop traveling when you have kids, just take them with you! Or IG posts with captions like "Keep traveling with your kids! It will be worth it!" As if nothing in your life changes and vacations will still be just as enjoyable as they ever were.

For me, there are now two kinds of travel. Family trips and vacations. A trip with my children is not a vacation. Maybe when they're older I will feel differently and genuinely enjoy exploring the world with my kids, but my kids are 2, 4, and 6 and taking them anywhere is a test of patience and will. And there are certain trips that I simply will not do with my kids (yet). I will not take any international trips with my kids for the time being. I will not take them to any resorts at some fancy tropical location. We just flew with them for the first time a few months ago, and we decided we also won't be doing that again any time soon. Those kinds of trips would be vacations that my husband and I would do solo. It's simply not worth the astronomical expense to do those things when I know we wouldn't enjoy it, and my kids are too young to properly appreciate it and would be just as happy going somewhere else.

I'm just tired of this narrative that traveling with kids is simply a choice you have to make, like the only thing holding you back from backpacking through Europe with your kids is your own small-mindedness. I simply don't have the disposable income to waste a couple thousand dollars flying my kids half-way across the world just so I can be stressed out the entire time. My sister who has young kids is always trying to convince me to take these huge trips with them overseas and doesn't understand why I keep saying no, or that I'd only do it if it was a kid-free trip.

So I am just throwing this out there to say that it is ok to admit that you don't enjoy traveling with your young children. It's ok to wait to plan those trips until they're older. There's nothing wrong with you, and you're not depriving them. Ignore the influencers. Protect your peace. Make the decisions that work best for your family.

So I am almost 2 years postpartum after my third baby. I had polyhydramnios which stretched my stomach extensively. I then lost 65 lbs of fat over the last year. I now have an apron belly which I am confident isn't going anywhere without surgery.

I will be pursuing a tummy tuck eventually so I can feel confident in my body again. In addition I am considering a breast lift, and possibly an arm and thigh lift depending on cost/recovery/etc.

My question is, how many of you have had this done with young children? What was your recovery like? I am a SAHM mom and I am not sure how long I would need full time help with the kids afterwards. I've been thinking I should probably just wait 3 years until my youngest is in kindergarten, and then at least the kids will all be out of the house at school for most of the day. Just wondering what recovery looks like or if it's possible or advisable to have it done sooner, or if sticking with the plan of waiting 3 years is the most reasonable course of action.

Lastly, I am wondering if anyone here has used a residency clinic to get your surgery done at a discounted cost? If so, what was the cost savings and what was your experience like?

On this sub I am constantly seeing posts or comments talking about how things are in the US for new or expectant moms/parents and then inevitably some european will respond with something along the lines of "wow I can't believe you have to deal with that! I am so grateful to live in [insert country here] where XYZ is done better!!" and it's just... supremely unhelpful and extremely tone deaf. Imagine if someone posted from a very resource deprived nation about food scarcity and someone responded with "wow I am so thankful to live where I do where we have an abundance of fresh produce and my fridge and pantry are always stocked!!" everyone would be horrified, right?

Like trust we all know that things in the US are less than ideal, especially for new/expectant parents. We all know that things are different (and often much better!) in other countries. There is really no need to rub salt in the wound. Either have some empathy for the things we are dealing with or don't respond at all. But this whole "subtle brag about the superiority of other countries" thing is not reproductive and does nothing to improve our circumstances, it just makes us feel worse about circumstances we have absolutely no control over.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk 😅

I am hoping to get some recommendations for which bras to try as I continue to search for a bra that I am not dying to cut off of my body at the end of the day. I nursed 3 babies and I have long pendulous breasts with immediate projection. They are floppy and saggy. I believe I am full on top, but my nipples point downwards at the base of my breasts when I don't have on a bra.

My current bra is a Fantasie Envisage in 32FF (UK) / 32H (US). I would like to have a t shirt bra for everyday wear plus something more cleavage friendly (perhaps a plunge) for when I wear stuff that you would see the tops of a t shirt bra in.

My primary objective is to find a comfortable bra that provides enough support to make my boobs look normal (read: not saggy, sad, deflated balloons) without the underwire making me feel like I have put my breasts into a prison rather than a gentle chamber of support.

My measurements (in inches):

- Loose underbust: 32.25

- Snug underbust: 31.75

- Tight underbust: 29.25

- Standing bust: 37

- Leaning bust: 39

- Lying bust: 36.5

Result: 32E UK, but may be more comfortable in a 34E

If your parents live close by and you have a good relationship, how often are you asking for help with watching your kids? Both of our parents live very close to us. They pretty much always say yes if we ask if they can watch the kids unless they have a genuine conflict. I always worry about overstepping or taking advantage of their willingness to help though. Neither of them ever *offer* or *ask* to have the kids over.

Currently we probably ask each of them once every 4-6 weeks for a full evening (like ~3 hrs for a date night, we pick up at bed time), and then random 1-2 hrs as needed for appts and such (usually less than once a month but depends on what’s going on, like it was more during my pregnancies when I had more frequent appts).

Our parents enjoy their grandkids and never seem to mind. I guess I was just raised with like a hyper independent mindset (very typical pull yourself up by your bootstraps American parents) and so I am constantly worrying about asking for help and whether it’s too much and the other person is just too polite to tell me no.

So how often do you ask for help? Do you think ~once a month is too often?