u/Tall-Girl-Here

Anyone resonate with this? I’d love to hear other experiences. I want to know I’m not alone.

I’ve been on Sertraline since I was 8 y/o at 200 mg (27 now). In college, I started to wean off as I wasn’t sure if I was experiencing proper sexual feelings? Like I wasn’t that interested in sex but I wanted to want it? I had some crushes on male celebrities growing up, but not really any crush on a guy in my life until my senior year of high school. My current relationship of nearly 5 years had me experiencing insecurity over whether I was attracted to them, but I enjoyed intimacy and closeness? I love him with all my heart and when I finally got down to 50 mg of sertraline in January 2026, I started getting scared I was gay.

I had kissed one girl in college and desired to kiss a couple others when drinking, but never thought much of it. At most, I labeled myself as a bi-curious person. But in meeting two queer women who I thought were so cool and effortlessly pretty in a club I joined in February, I began to get really uneasy. I read into every relationship doubt that I’d had as a sign and spiraled HARD. I’m talking sobbing continuously, nearly breaking up multiple times, and unable to think of anything else/really function.

My partner has been a saint through it all. He doesn’t believe that I’m a lesbian based on our relationship dynamics and my physical affection towards him. I’ve since gone up to 100 mg (50 seems to be the lowest I can go at this point) and the severe distress is gone but the thoughts remain.

The idea of sexuality being fluid makes me not want to throw in the towel on a relationship built on trust, compassion, respect, friendship and love. My parents and therapist suggested that experimenting at this point in time might bring more confusion than clarity. And weirdly enough, I don’t really want to know if I do experience true same sex attraction. I want my partner to be the one I’m with. What we have is special.

As a child, I needed Sertraline desperately to function. But I wonder if it did a number on how I’ve interpreted my sexuality over the years. But I really only want it to be him I’m with. The idea of “self discovery” makes me queasy, because I really don’t want an outcome without my partner.

Anyone resonate with this? I’d love to hear other experiences. I want to know I’m not alone.

I’ve been on Sertraline since I was 8 y/o at 200 mg (27 now). In college, I started to wean off as I wasn’t sure if I was experiencing proper sexual feelings? Like I wasn’t that interested in sex but I wanted to want it? I had some crushes on male celebrities growing up, but not really any crush on a guy in my life until my senior year of high school. My current relationship of nearly 5 years had me experiencing insecurity over whether I was attracted to them, but I enjoyed intimacy and closeness? I love him with all my heart and when I finally got down to 50 mg of sertraline in January 2026, I started getting scared I was gay.

I had kissed one girl in college and desired to kiss a couple others when drinking, but never thought much of it. At most, I labeled myself as a bi-curious person. But in meeting two queer women who I thought were so cool and effortlessly pretty in a club I joined in February, I began to get really uneasy. I read into every relationship doubt that I’d had as a sign and spiraled HARD. I’m talking sobbing continuously, nearly breaking up multiple times, and unable to think of anything else/really function.

My partner has been a saint through it all. He doesn’t believe that I’m a lesbian based on our relationship dynamics and my physical affection towards him. I’ve since gone up to 100 mg (50 seems to be the lowest I can go at this point) and the severe distress is gone but the thoughts remain.

The idea of sexuality being fluid makes me not want to throw in the towel on a relationship built on trust, compassion, respect, friendship and love. My parents and therapist suggested that experimenting at this point in time might bring more confusion than clarity. And weirdly enough, I don’t really want to know if I do experience true same sex attraction. I want my partner to be the one I’m with. What we have is special.

As a child, I needed Sertraline desperately to function. But I wonder if it did a number on how I’ve interpreted my sexuality over the years. But I really only want it to be him I’m with. The idea of “self discovery” makes me queasy, because I really don’t want an outcome without my partner.

My partner and I have been together for nearly 5 years. I met him unintentionally right after a relationship that I knew wasn’t the one. We get along wonderfully, but after the honeymoon phase I’d have the dull back of mind thoughts that maybe I was not attracted to him, or I didn’t love him as much as he did me. Or “do I even want to be in a relationship right now? I’m so young and could be missing out!”

I never imagined our wedding after the 2 year mark, but never wanted to leave, either. I knew I had to rip off the bandaid at some point and move in with him, so we toured and found a place that checked our boxes and signed a July 1 lease.

Fast forward to a month ago, I have a stress in my mind I cannot quite name. Then I discovered the concept of comphet and I completely fell apart. I was always insecure with how much I felt I “wanted” sex. I often had sex because I wanted to want it, but I never disliked it either? I always attributed it to sertraline (been on it since I was 8 for GAD). I also like to flirt with men without acting on it if I’m out with girlfriends because it makes me feel good. I also do find women more beautiful than men oftentimes. In an art club i was in I gravitated towards drawing women because their bodies are more interesting to me. But I’ve never really had romantic interest/intent toward them except with maybe a curiosity to kiss one after some drinks who identified as gay/bi.

I want to get through this, I want this to work. I got so scared for a while to say “i love you” even though I said it first in our relationship, and now I can’t stop saying it to him through tears. I feel so broken. I want him to be the one. I want to move in with him without this pit in my stomach. But I’m so scared that the presence of these thoughts in a dull capacity means they were true and now I have ROCD from the denial of him not being the one. He’s perfect. We never fight. I want to want him to be the one.