u/Tasty_Ball_Hairs_69

Found Mod Conflicts

My parents love me. They’ve proven that to me, they’ve done everything to take care of me, and so much more. But, sometimes they feel, how do I put it, illogical at times.

For example, just before I made this post, I got home after getting a replacement license for the one I lost (I’m 18 right now). My mom has just been very irritated with me lately (rightfully so, I’ve spent the past 2 weeks in a depressive, dissociative state, but Ive been trying to make it up to her), so for example, last night, she made me go to bed without doing our dishes because she just didn’t want to see me for the rest of the night. Anyways, I get back, see she didn’t do the dishes, so I ask her if I should, to which she responds just like the “meme” above. “Just go to your room, I don’t want to see your face. So I do. Judging by her general irritation to me (and the fact that she got onto me just being on my phone despite the fact I’m putting my work days into our family calendar), I decide that I just should stay away from the electronics for a bit. I figured, since I already have all my other chores done (or at least the ones I can do in my room), I might as well do some drawing. I pull out my sketchbook, do some doodling, but then she comes into my room and gets onto me for not trying to help out around the house. “There’s too much to do! You could clean the car you just used, do the damn dishes you left last night, anything!” After she gets over her rant, she then just tells me TO STAY IN MY ROOM?! Like, she’s angry at me, so she puts me in my room. Then, she gets ANGRY that I’m sitting in my room, and as punishment, I JUST STAY IN MY ROOM?! Like, I’m willing to take anything else! You said I need to be helping out around the house LITERALLY right now, so make me! Have me do the dishes, clean the car, vacuum the floor, anything!

Idk. We both have our flaws. I’m very direct, she’s much more assuming. But I feel that sometimes she doesn’t think enough about her actions, and she’ll try to punish me, only to make her problems that much worse.

Another example is that about a week ago (during my whole phase) I consistently sat around until they came back home at night and brought me back to the living world, where I’d then decide to get a shower. She did get very fed up with this. I mean, you’re out until late at night, and expect your son to have cleaned himself up, correct? But then, when you’re about to clean up for bed, oops! Your son hasn’t cleaned up at all, so now YOU have to wait. It’s understandable that she’s angry about that. So, she made a rule that if I don’t get a shower before 8 PM, I don’t get to shower at all that night. So, now that I’m out of my whole phase, I’ve been trying to live by this rule. But, yesterday, I missed my shower time at 8:30. So, I accepted that I wouldn’t be clean, and that I’d need to do better. But then, my mom comes, and GETS MAD because “she’s been waiting for 15 minutes for me to get a shower”. I try to tell her that IM FOLLOWING the rule SHE made, but “STOP MAKING EXCUSES!” “YOU TAKE FOREVER EACH NIGHT TO GET A SHOWER, AND I HAVE TO WAIT ON YOU ALL THE TIME BEFORE I CAN EVER GO TO BED” I try to explain that I’m sorry, and I’m trying to follow the rule SHE- “please just shut the fuck up. Get a shower. I’m tired.”

…

So, as punishment for not getting a shower because of HER rule, she makes me BREAK the rule she made.

The whole reason that rule works is because the punishment is that I don’t get clean. YES, I will stink the next day, and that’s MY FAULT. I won’t deny that, and I didn’t deny it last night. I MESSED UP. I missed my shower time. That’s on me. But, she continues to choose to punish HERSELF for my actions. She CHOSE to wait for me, DESPITE having made a rule that should have punished ME for it.

AND NOW, SHES MAD THAT SHE HAS TO CONSTANTLY TELL ME TO DO EVERYTHING. GET A SHOWER. HELP AROUND THE HOUSE. WAKE UP IN THE MORNING.

That is something I should mention too, during my whole “phase”, I did consistently sleep through my alarms (despite my alarm being a FUCKING SHOCK WATCH), and so she’d have to wake me up. Now that I’m out of that phase though, I’ve woken up by myself for the last 3 days. So, I try to tell her I’m sorry for this, and that I think I’ve found a way to- “STOP MAKING EXCUSES. ‘I SLEPT THROUGH THIS’ ‘MY WATCH THAT’ WHEN WILL YOU STOP MAKING EXCUSES AND ACTUALLY WAKE UP IN THE MORNINGS?!” I’m not trying to, quite the opposite. I just want to- “shut up. I don’t want to hear it. All you do is whine, bitch and complain. You think it’s MY responsibility to wake you up, but I have BETTER things to do with my time. YOURE 18. You’re an adult. You shouldnt have to rely on mommy and daddy to make sure you take care of business.” Exactly. I shouldn’t have to, yet I am. So, I want to apolo- “SHUT UP. Stop talking. I’m done with your excuses.”

…

“Just go to bed. I don’t want to see your face”