I always hide when I see people from my school days because I don't want them to know how stuck I am in life.

I finished high school almost 4 years ago and I still haven't gotten used to this kind of situation. I'm afraid and very ashamed that people close to me back then will find out that I somehow "failed" at everything and I'm having to learn to START living now at 22 because of social phobia.

It's so strange seeing the people I used to talk to so much now as adults, it feels "out of place," I don't know, lol. I never know what to do. Do I say hi first? With a smile or without a smile? Enthusiastic or neutral? Loud or quiet? Is it better to pretend I don't know them and walk by with my head down? What if they recognize me? Nothing happens in my life, I'm the same person I've been for 5 years, what do I talk about!? And thoughts like that, but I always end up avoiding them, changing corridors, crossing the street, looking the other way, and so on.

In 2024, while taking a relative to radiotherapy, a friend of almost 10 years recognized me and talked to me. He'd always been a good person to me. Extroverted, quick laugh, the kind of person who's funny without saying anything. But I was a wreck, completely messed up mentally, barely able to speak, and I had blocked him on social media for over two years. Looking back now, I must have seemed very strange and distant, but even so, he asked for my contact information and we talked about relationships, life, and work. "Damn, some of the guys from our class already have kids and we can't even get girlfriends, huh?" Lol. And suddenly that conversation was almost two years ago.

I still have him on Instagram and WhatsApp, but we haven't interacted since. He posted a new photo and I wanted to like and comment, but something is stopping me, I don't know. Even sending reels feels uncomfortable. I'm ashamed of how I am today. I want to work on that.

I also cut off contact with a dear friend from that time. I messed up a lot with her, turning down many invitations to have fun over the years because I was extremely shy. But even so she was always with me in school. She was one of the last people who interacted with me before I completely isolated myself. She always asked how I was, how my mother was. "How's Aunt So-and-so doing? You're not giving her too much trouble, are you?" and she'd pat me on the shoulder, laughing. She also had a ready laugh with me, I always liked that about her. When I blocked everyone after high school, I found out she's dating someone now for over 3 years now. We haven't spoken since high school. But every now and then she texts my mother, "Hi Mrs. So-and-so, how are you?" I don't know what they talk about.

Sometimes I think about talking to her again and apologizing for disappearing because I was having my worst days and didn't know how to handle it, and telling her that she was always a great friend, but I think it's better to leave that door closed. The cycle is over. The spark of friendship has already gone out. But why contact her? Is it to forgive me? So I can finally let go of the past and move on? I wanted to do the same with a friend I was quite rude to. He always tried to cheer me up, but I was always curt and even impolite, until one day he gave up and I blocked him. They both moved on. They're both five years ahead of me in life, even though they're the same age. Like, I don't know if someone from "season 4" showing up in "season 10" of their lives would be a good idea. I think I'm maturing and understanding that the problem was actually me.

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u/ThatStrength1683 — 7 days ago
▲ 46 r/Stutter

Once, as a child, I cried in a teacher's arms after being mocked.

I was nine, in third grade. After an argument (I don't remember the reason for it), of course they get you where it hurts. A boy pushed me and repeated the syllables, pretending to have a heart attack, and told me to shut up because "I shouldn't even speak because I'm just a miserable stutterer." This was right after returning to the classroom after lunch in the cafeteria. I felt very heavy-hearted and held it in until the teacher came back and saw that I was anxious with tears in my eyes. She asked why. A good friend at the time said, somewhat restrained, that they had mocked me for my stutter. When she asked if it was true, I put my hand to my face and couldn't take it anymore.

I remember someone sitting behind me putting their hand on my shoulder to comfort me, but I got up and ran down the hallway with the teacher shouting my name and chasing after me. I got to the cafeteria and fell to the floor. She helped me, but I stayed seated. I was crying hard. I said I didn't want to go back to class, I couldn't take being like this anymore. I was ashamed of myself. I thought I was worthless. I didn't want to stutter anymore. I was tired. When I looked at her, she had tears in her eyes. I apologized because "boys don't cry," and she knelt down and hugged me and said it was okay to cry and that I didn't need to feel guilty about stuttering. We stayed hugged for a while, I closed my eyes and felt comforted. She stroked my hair while I dried my tears. I went to get some water and she went to the classroom. When I came back, everyone was in a deathly silence, and the boy who insulted me apologized and said he didn't know I was going to cry.

I still studied with him for six years, but I never spoke a word to him again or even looked at him. The teacher's name was Patricia. I never saw her again after that year, 2013, but I will always remember that hug.

u/ThatStrength1683 — 9 days ago
▲ 84 r/Stutter

My mother always yelled at me and hit me sometimes as a child to (try to) stop me from stuttering.

After a failed attempt with a child speech therapist, they realized i wasn't getting results and decided to stop. Then they started trying to repress me at home. At the slightest sign of stuttering, I was reprimanded, whether with angry stares, or when she grabbed my arm tightly and shook me. Or a slap. Or yelled at me to speak correctly. She always treated me as if I had a button I could press to stop stuttering whenever I wanted.

​

My brother always imitated me, repeating the syllables. I think he believed that if I were ashamed of my stuttering, I would simply stop. Yeah. This went on until I was 16, when I broke down and had a depressive episode and developed social phobia in high school, which I almost couldn't finish. Since then, they got scared I would kill myself and neither of them has ever corrected me, and they've treated me with respect ever since. It's been 6 years.

​

"SPEAK PROPERLY, DAMN IT!!!", "STOP DOING THAT, THAT'S EMBARRASSING!!!", "SPEAK CORRECTLY OR I'LL HIT YOU!!!" Every single day. And there goes my childhood and part of my adolescence.

u/ThatStrength1683 — 15 days ago

I took out a loan for my brother to pay off a Loan Shark debt, and now I really need that money.

I always kept my credit score good so I could get a loan if I needed it, in case of an emergency or last resource. I had never done this before. I didn't want to give it to him because he always ends up in debt to something, his whole life. But he's my brother, he's been with me through the worst times, I didn't want to hurt him. Right? He told me he was worried and couldn't sleep because he didn't know how to pay and blah blah. Then I fell for it.

Then I took out a loan of 5k for him to pay back a monthly installment until 2027. I myself have never seen that amount of money. He pays me the installments correctly. But now I need to have my four wisdom teeth removed and I simply don't have the money. I'm in pain. This is the kind of real emergency I had in mind to take out a loan for. I needed at least half of that. But I can't take out a new loan because I already have this one until next year. My God. All you had to do was say no, man. Just no. I'm poor, screwed, and the first time I take out a loan, it's for someone who's already living in debt. And I put myself in this situation. Congrats you idiot. Congrats.

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u/ThatStrength1683 — 16 days ago
▲ 2 r/sexo

Gosto de ouvir minha namorada certinha falar palavrão e me xingar na cama kkkkkk

Ela é certinha do tipo que realmente não xinga no dia a dia. É sempre os clássicos "droga/caramba/Cacilda" mas quando a gente tá se pegando eu peço pra ela olhar no meu olho, encher a boca e me xingar. "Não me quer, filho da puta? Então mete caralho!", da até vontade de rir vendo ela tentando ser brava, fica totalmente fora do lugar e acho que é isso que me excita muito. Ela só mostra aquilo na hora e depois que acaba ela volta no modo padrão kkkkkkkkkkk eu me amarro

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u/ThatStrength1683 — 16 days ago

Friction between the foreskin and the glans is not good. I don't have phimosis, should I have my foreskin removed?

I can pull back the foreskin all back but not completely down. The frenulum is short, which distorts the glans. But my main complaint is that the foreskin never returns completely to its original position, at least not if it's dry. Only with the help of lubricants. This is annoying. I was thinking of having it completely removed and being free of it all at once. Is this poor friction normal?

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u/ThatStrength1683 — 16 days ago

Tô querendo meu primeiro relógio na vida

Um casio MW-240 na faixa dos R$170. Mas tô em dúvida em relação a cor. Queria o azul. Eu sou pardo, acho que azul combinaria bem mas será que ficaria muito infantil? Queria passar seriedade mas sem ser MUITO formal e sem chamar muita atenção também. Todas as quatro cores me interessam. O branco clássico seria melhor? O que vocês acham?

u/ThatStrength1683 — 16 days ago

Dei em cima da coroa da hidroginastica na zoeira e ela veio mesmo kkkkkkkkkkkk

Fui buscar minha mãe na hidroginástica e tava tocando aquelas musicas da Renner e eu cheguei dançando, elas já deram gritinho igual os ETs de toy story quando vêem o garra kkkkkkkkkk aí eu fiquei sentado lá esperando acabar e na hora de sair da piscina uma delas +50 com um corpão disse que gostou de me ver dançar, eu meti o louco e disse que poderia ensinar ela um dia desses, "a gente toma um vinho e dança agarradinho, que cê acha?" Ela deu uma gargalhada e minha mãe ficou brava comigo kkkkkkkkk ai depois de ir se trocar a mulher chegou perto e perguntou baiixinho se podia ser sábado e disse que morava perto de mercado x" aí eu fiquei sem reação porque não tava esperando e disse que era zoeira kkkkkkk mas fiquei com isso na cabeça, eu tenho 23, será que devia ir?

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u/ThatStrength1683 — 22 days ago

To ficando doido com as redes sociais, todos falam tudo pra todo lado como verdade absoluta e é isso

Sou homem tenho 20 anos, me recuperando de uma depressão longínqua e me sentindo (até então) pronto pra ter relacionamentos de novo desde a época de escola, mas hoje parece que tudo é interpretado em todos os extremos possíveis e essas pessoas se fecham nas suas respectivas bolhas somente com essa opinião e pronto. Não tenho tanta experiência, eu vejo algo e penso, nossa, talvez seja verdade. Ai tem outro vídeo completamente oposto e eu repenso, "ué mas o outro não falou que era ruim?" Por exemplo:

Uns vídeos sobre o tal lovebombing e os comentários cheios de relatos concordando que os "emocionados" são redflag e que querem distância até do cara que leva flor no primeiro encontro.

Ou vários vídeos do tipo casal apaixonado cheio de beijinhos e mimos com a legenda "viva os emocionados" e os comentários marcando os parceiros (as) com carinho dizendo que sorte ter te conhecido ou que queriam conhecer alguém assim.

E isso é só um exemplo de VÁRIAS situações, cheio de opostos sobre homem vs mulher/mulher vs homem, um ataca o outro, todos concordam, "ninguém presta", "não dá pra se relacionar nos dias de hoje", "o amor de esfriou, ódio ódio ódio, mulher isso, homem aquilo.... caralho que raios tá acontecendo hoje em dia? Acho que vou deletar meu insta e simplesmente ser eu mesmo, mudei meu algoritmo pra esse lado sobre relacionamentos e me arrependi amargamente mds.

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u/ThatStrength1683 — 27 days ago

Homem virgem aos 21: revelar no primeiro encontro ou não?

Recentemente conheci uma mulher linda um ano mais velha. Ela reagiu bem aos flertes com sorrisos e olhares, chamei pra sair e ela aceitou. Já tenho em mente que logicamente não teremos sexo logo no primeiro encontro, no máximo um beijo de despedida. Mas ainda assim. Pesquisei uns vídeos sobre o corpo da mulher e prazer e anatomia da ppk, preliminar e tudo mais. Mas experiência zero. Revelar que é virgem ou dizer que não transo há muito tempo? Kkkkkkkkk

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u/ThatStrength1683 — 1 month ago

I feel like the terminator when I have any dialogue lol

I always try to choose in a second the best dialogue option to have the least possible block without seeming totally out of context or making a weird face lol It's exhausting, but i get used to it

u/ThatStrength1683 — 1 month ago

Meu sobrinho de 10 anos não consegue jogar por que TUDO é "muito difícil" e "demorado"

Eu decidi limpar meu Xbox 360 velho e jogar uns jogos antigos pela nostalgia tipo assassin's Creed 4 e halo 4. Minha irmã veio passar o fim de semana em casa com meu sobrinho pra juntar a família e almoçar no domingo. E ele simplesmente não suporta NENHUMA cutscene de jogo e no primeiro sinal de que não consegue fazer algo já fica irritado e não quer jogar mais. Eu já vi ele jogando free fire com outro celular no tik tok ao mesmo tempo. Ele lê os objetivos na tela e simplesmente esquece o que tem que fazer logo em seguida. Isso quando ele percebe que apareceu um objetivo. Os personagens conversando (dublado) e ele não consegue prender a atenção o suficiente pra entender o que eles querem fazer, por exemplo, (pule naquele navio e liberte os prisioneiros). Ele simplesmente fica boiando e não sabe o que fazer. Ele não consegue seguir o que o jogo pede. Ele errou alguns tiros com o navio do Edward e já ficou estressado e não queria mais jogar, falando que era difícil e não conseguia (literalmente primeira tentativa). O jogo manda uma mensagem na tela falando pra chegar perto e ancorar no navio inimigo e depois aparece outra dizendo qual botão apertar pra fazer isso. Ele simplesmente não sabe o que fazer e não busca montar um raciocínio pra pelo menos tentar entender.

Eu sei que tem gente que realmente não gosta da dinâmica do ac4 e pode simplesmente não ter gostado do jogo, mas caramba, não ter paciência nem de esperar o personagem subir numa torre? No halo a mesma coisa com objetivos, ele mal entendeu que tem que seguir as setas mostrando pra onde tem que ir, e quando a cortana fala o que tem que fazer logo em seguida ele pergunta o que tem que fazer. Eu tive que explicar todas as vezes.

Esse comportamento dele é problemático ou eu que tô ficando velho chato kkkkkk????

u/ThatStrength1683 — 2 months ago

Once, I was with my grandfather in line at the local supermarket, which was packed, and a tall, serious-looking guy said how dangerous the city was becoming and that he was going to move. Out of nowhere, the first thing my grandfather said LOUDLY was, "Yeah, I agree, you know, in a few weeks I'm going to get a good amount of money, like 300,000, and I plan to leave here too." (Which was true). He's 90. And the man was just being nice and started a conversation, and everyone there heard too and started staring. Damn it Grandpa shut the fuck up lol! They've become like children again, you have to watch them all the time. Later I told him he shouldn't have said that, and he was like, "Nah, the man is good, this city is dangerous anyway."

They just lose all sense of judgment about what can or can't be said.

u/ThatStrength1683 — 2 months ago

No segundo ano ele já não aguentava pagar IPVA, se desesperou achando que o banco ia mandar o esquadrão da morte pra tomar o carro e fez empréstimo consignado enquanto pagava a parcela do carro. Os dois juntos pegavam METADE do salário dele. METADE. Meses depois tive uma emergência médica e minha mãe teve que bancar os gastos e mal sobrou dinheiro pra comida. Assim que acabou esse empréstimo ele fez outro pra pagar o IPVA de novo e aí foi uma bola de neve. Qualquer situação imprevista poderia ser um desastre financeiro total. E foi assim durante muito tempo, metade da minha infância e adolescência inteira. Pra piorar, não deixavam eu trabalhar, mesmo já tendo oferta duas vezes como jovem aprendiz. A gente sempre tava na beira da navalha torcendo pra não escorregar e alguma merda grande acontecer. Hoje tá com o documento do carro atrasado há 4 anos e se o carro quebrar fudeu. Fico pensando em tudo que a gente passou pra simplesmente nada. Alguns aniversários eu não tinha nem bolo porque o dinheiro não dava. Ele é péssimo gerenciando dinheiro e aquilo impactou muito minha infância. Se achava com o carro novo e como era bonito e saia por aí se mostrando pra todos, mas em casa vivia ouvindo e vendo ele e minha mãe preocupados com dividas e se perguntando se ia dar pra passar o mês com comida. Queria contar uma história de sucesso mas infelizmente também não tô bem financeiramente, mas tenho esperança que uma hora as coisas vão melhorar. Evitem fazer decisões financeiras irresponsáveis, ainda mais se tiverem família pra cuidar.

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u/ThatStrength1683 — 2 months ago

Ele tem 90 anos e anda pensando muito nisso. O processo já tem mais de 10 anos e tem uma fila de espera lenta. Como devem imaginar, ele já ta numa idade delicada e tá ficando impaciente. O valor total seria 250k, mas já ofereceram comprar a dívida por 50k. Dizem mandam o dinheiro no mesmo dia. O problema é fazer isso e "de repente" e "surpreendentemente" no dia seguinte o sistema liberar todo o dinheiro pra essa empresa e ele acabar ficando "só" com os 50k. Ele tem um bocado de dividas, quer viajar pra ver a família na capital e ajudar as filhas (minha mãe e tia). Será que seria loucura aceitar os 50k?

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u/ThatStrength1683 — 2 months ago