Besides from my usual English prep, I have an enrichment period. The problem is this is supposed to be a fun team-building class until the students get sorted into groups and even different classes once we have data on them.

I would also like to take this as a chance to get some student work for my room. I was considering a coat of arms activity, however, students are already making one with my team's history teacher. I could do maybe some comics or posters, but I'm not sure of what. My brain is shutting down from pre-student prep.

(Thanks).

In most fictional depictions of vampires, hunger is used as a metaphor for lust. Baldur's Gate wants us to have that same assumption at the start of the game. Astarion is the most openly flirtatious companion and he even uses his hunger as an excuse to hide he wasn't present during the first romance scene. Ultimately, the game pivots from our expectations as it asks us to view Astarion in more depth. Starting even in act 1, the game uses the supernatural, vampiric hunger as a metaphor for trauma.

Evidence

One of Ethel's vicious mockery lines targeting Astarion is, "you're one thirsty night away from betraying everyone!" It's a brutal line, but never one that comes to fruition. Even during bite night, we learn from an origin run that it's motivated not by hunger but by a desire to prove he can act freely of Cazador. Astarion never gets hungry enough to betray his companions, but he sure as hell becomes desperate enough to make selfish, reckless decisions like dealing with devils or burning his siblings.

A sticking point for the ritual is not only the power over others and ability to walk in the sun, but the freedom from hunger. This is even a driving force when he considers the ritual: "you can see the fear in his eyes, but also the hunger. The thick smell of blood in the air and the promise of power being so close to him is intoxicating to him." Astarion truly believes that completing the ritual will make him whole and cure his hunger.

Even after the ritual, if you kill the vampire spawn and face the Gur, Astarion singles out the hunger in the children's eyes to justify letting them die. If you spare the spawn, the epilogue letter from the Gur still talks about their hunger and how Astarion is proof that the Gur children are able to master their own. In both circumstances, hunger is used as short hand for all the horrors they faced.

Narrative Significance

I think this is a very compelling metaphor. It portrays trauma as this "live" thing with its own drive. It isn't just fear but Astarion's anger, need for power, and drive for vengeance. Hiding this metaphor behind the idea of lust strengthens to narrative goal of Astarion asking the player to see who he is behind his facade. More so, Astarion's story is a microcosm for the themes in a game where trauma isn't just set dressing for cool characters but the source of ugly flaws to be confronted.

Making the metaphor centered on a core aspect of being alive really highlights how flawed Astarion's view of his past is. I go back a lot to this quote from him while reading his scars after Raphael revealed them: "now that I'm free of him, now that I have a choice, I will do whatever it takes to fight. I'll pay any price to undo what he did to me." But just like hunger, trauma never really goes away.

Astarion's good ending isn't him "curing" himself of his hunger, it is him mastering it. Just like his trauma, Astarion will live with his hunger for the rest of his life. It will eb and flow depending on the day, but it will always be part of him. The point of his story isn't to undo what Cazador did to him, but to recognize it as only one aspect of himself and that he can make his own decisions free of it.

(If I missed any good examples or insights, let me know!)

So I did the thing new DMs aren't supposed to do and decided my first ever D&D campaign would be me running a continent-wide adventure with my own evented lore, locations, and stories. We're coming up on two years in this campaign, and it's all thanks to this group.

We've had our ups and downs, but we're really strong now. Without them, there's no campaign. They all made characters they're invested in, take notes, make the perfect amount of poor in-game decisions, and committed themselves to a really time-consuming hobby. I know I got a lot luckier than most DMs.

I'm just having some post-session blues with summer messing up our scheduling and us not able to meet for over a month. We've tossed around the idea of playing with a man down, but with how story-heavy each session tends to be, we generally try to avoid it. It gives me some time to prep the next area they're travelling to, but I just re-introduced my favorite NPC and damn am I anxious to get through this mini hiatus.

Anyways, this was really saccharine and am still kinda sad about them "going on vacation" or "providing for their families," so here's some of their greatest hits.

- Took a boat into known bandit territory, burned the boat the give the captain a funeral, and then short rested next to the fire. (they were ambushed)

- Saw a creepy zombie stalking them and man handled him into picking his nose and then burnt him down in a house

- They once successfully cast fear on a rock

- Begging for a heist session and had to be reminded the following week they wanted to rob someone

- In the same session, robbed a completely different man of his lizards

- Joined a magical college ran by an obviously evil man teaching obviously evil magics after confirmation he was involved in an evil conspiracy and likely stealing the memory of one of the player characters. But they asked how long they could stay because I offered them out-of-class spells for taking classes.

- Abandon the sick-ass fighting ring I made to investigate the magical headmaster. It went poorly. He got murdered.

>!...it ends with Astarion buried alive, right?!<

For those of you not in the loop, the book comes out September 29th. The summary has been nothing short of divisive:

>Astarion Ancunin was supposed to be a magistrate, not a vampire spawn. He was supposed to serve the law, not the vicious vampire lord Cazador Szarr. And he was supposed to drink fine wine, not rat blood. Alas—the city of Baldur’s Gate cares little for what’s supposed to happen.

Though he has been powerless to resist his master’s bidding, haunting the nighttime streets to fetch warm blood, Astarion has never surrendered his hope. One day, this nightmare must end. He just has to find out how.

When the vampire lord announces a twisted competition for his favor, an opportunity presents itself in the form of a rare prize . . . and an unlikely alliance. The blood of a dead god is buried deep beneath Baldur’s Gate, and, to get it, Astarion will need the help of a handsome Aasimar paladin named Hahn den Suriel.

There are just a few problems. Astarion is not supposed to trust his fellow spawn. He’s not supposed to go out into the city for his own ends rather than the vampire lord’s. And he’s certainly not supposed to strike a deal with a stranger whose golden eyes can snare even a blackened, undead heart.

But the city of Baldur’s Gate cares little for what’s supposed to happen.

I've seen a number of people criticizing the plot setup and tone because it doesn't feel like Astarion. I think that's what the writer is getting at. We know next to nothing about who Astarion was before Cazador. He was a magistrate, and--the part often overlooked in his character--it took years for him to stop fighting Cazador.

I would bet anything this book will show the turning point in Astarion's character. We will follow him on a fun adventure with a darling young boy, and at some point, Cazador will expect Astarion to betray the paladin. From there, we know the story. Astarion will run away, Cazador will catch and bury him, and Astarion will spend the next two centuries resigned to his fate. This is his single most painful memory, the retelling of everything his eventual adventure will be but without his happy ending.

I keep coming back to that line of "what's supposed to happen." At this point in his life, Astarion still believes he doesn't belong in the role Cazador forced him in. In the stories, of course the sweet knight taking him on a grand adventure will rescue Astarion from his fate. But we know that isn't what happens, not for another 200 years. For all he knows, this was his story and it's already over.

I've always been drawn to Astarion because of his strength. Sure, he starts the story as an evil bastard, but you can see his draw to the light. After enduring everything awful that could happen to a person for twice as long most us will even be alive, he can still end the story as a good, whole person. I think a story this dark can only work because we know, ultimately, Astarion's character is built on hope.

I am trying to break down my future monthly budget if I were to buy a house about 7 months from now. I'm pretty out of my depth here, so I just need help making sure my math and expectations are reasonable.

House-Wise

If the market lines up half decently, I could put 20% down on a 170,000 house. Putting that through a mortgage calculator with a 6% interest rate puts me at about 1,200 a month. I've been watching my local market like a hawk and I'm confident that with a little patience, I will find a house in my price range.

Additional Information

The budget below will not include a car payment; I'm paying that off by the end of this year. I'm 23 and live in northeast Ohio. I would move out solo, adopt a cat, and have about 10k set aside for moving in and savings (and I know that isn't a lot, but I could potentially bank up more by waiting between paying off my car and moving out).

Monthly Budget (with a $2,900 income)

Housing: 1,200

Utilities: 300

Groceries: 350

Gas: 150

Car Insurance: 135

College Loan: 100

Subscriptions: 50

Savings w/ Advisor: 115

Total Monthly Expenditure: 2,400

Personal Spending & Rainy Days: 500