[QCrit] Adult Contemporary Romance, THE MIRAGE, 79K (1st Attempt)
Hello PubTips! Thanks in advance for your unvarnished thoughts and critique. This is my first time writing a query letter and I'm sure I have a lot to learn.
Dear [Agent],
I’m excited to pitch my adult contemporary romance, THE MIRAGE, complete at 79,000 words. Set on the Broadway stage, it will appeal to readers who loved the behind-the-scenes access of ROMANTIC COMEDY by Curtis Sittenfeld along with the warmth and whimsy of Cara Bastone’s HEARTS OF NEW YORK series.
Sabrina Yazzie’s to-do list is one item long: get on Broadway.
After nearly a decade paying her dues at a regional Shakespeare company, she’s arrived in NYC with the requisite “three bucks, two bags, one me.” (That is, the pitiful savings of a 29-year-old, a place to crash, and a juicy new memoir by Broadway’s own Chrissy Marlowe that she’s already read cover to cover. Twice.)
When Sabrina gets cast in a workshop for a promising new musical, she has six weeks to prove that she’s star material. The show is still being written, which gives her a fabulous opportunity to shape its story, refine her role, and become so essential that they can’t imagine doing the show without her. Then, when The Mirage makes it to Broadway, Sabrina will make it, too.
There’s just one problem. Sabrina’s co-star is Andy Tauben — Chrissy Marlowe’s ex-husband. Chrissy’s book, gossip blogs, and stage door fanatics dispute the finer details, but it’s clear that Andy has broken up shows and marriages with his notorious charm. After their memorable chemistry read, Sabrina is sure of this much: his focus is addictive, his two Tony Awards are infuriatingly well-deserved, and their immediate spark will not turn into a real-life romance. Though he offers to help Sabrina navigate the unspoken rules of Broadway, she knows better than to rely on him.
When an industry-wide shutdown leaves their show in limbo, Sabrina needs to maintain her sanity and her starring role — and learning to trust Andy may be the key.
Like Sabrina, I am a queer woman of color who loves theatre so much that I moved to New York City. Unlike Sabrina, I am an attorney who specializes in [niche and maybe doxxable civil rights specialty :)], and my stage is the courtroom. THE MIRAGE is my debut novel.
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*300 word excerpt ^(*288 actually)
I close my book, crush it to my chest, and silently hate Andy Tauben.
Just then, a new awareness prickles at my skin. The man across the train is finally looking at me.
I noticed him as soon as I got onto the 2, three stops ago. This is something I do now, apparently — daydream about every interesting stranger on public transit. Minimally attractive bystanders, beware. But in this man’s case, it’s hard to make out any distinctive features, bundled up as he is. It’s his book that makes him interesting. I think it’s about The Music Man, based on its title, and I want to know more.
I’ve spent the past decade knee-deep in Shakespeare. If I’m going to make it on Broadway, I should probably engage with some serious literature about the next 400 years of theatre. Gossip blogs and message boards probably won’t cut it.
My idle fantasies have gone like this: He looks up. Our eyes meet. I ask about his book, and he asks about mine. Turns out he lives in a beautiful pre-war apartment with bay windows that overlook the park. I spend the rest of winter thawing on his upholstered window bench with a stack of Broadway nonfiction. We discuss the books over excellent coffee and single-origin tea and live contentedly ever after.
I smooth out the crinkled corners of my paperback.
Nat always bristled when I treated books poorly, folded them back on themselves, dog-eared pages. Maybe my stranger across the train feels the same way, and that’s why he’s so stiff in my periphery — I doubt he’ll want to lend me all his books now, if this is how I behave.
But this book deserves it. It’s killing me.