u/TheUntoldTruthExist5

Anybody leaving from California San Jose going south. Will help out with gas or anything else needed

I think there’s so many options, you just choose what you want. This world isn’t the same anymore and it’s getting evil by the day. I like to use 2016 as a reference simply because everybody knows what they were doing and how it was back then. Free, evil was present but didn’t have the power yet. Life is truly what you make it. I’m 22M been to 3 different colleges to play ball. D1 athlete pretty much everything that comes with it. The fast cars, women, chain, watches, money. Everything people want right. Crazy part is I’ll trade all of that in a second to be with my brudda one more time. The one thing I realized is you can have all of that shit and still feel empty but on the other side. You can have nothing, no money, car,Job but it can be a single person on earth that makes everything feel ok even if it’s not yk. You ever prayed to God to take it?

Since you say you’ve lost hope? Why? In a few words explain what’s kept you going for so long and why you have decided you’re done. People think taking yours is easy but it’s the hardest because it wasn’t given to you. Can’t speak for everybody but from about when I was born till about 6 years old I was a kid for a short time I enjoyed it. Then eventually had things just kept happening
To us and looking back idk who we use to blame. But it was ME. The Middle Child. Always there to fuck shii up, eat the straps, and take whatever is left for them. I can’t speak for you but living on earth is Hell for me already. This is my punishment and karma Everyday. I wanna read sum people stories maybe somebody who understands.

Since you say you’ve lost hope? Why? In a few words explain what’s kept you going for so long and why you have decided you’re done. People think taking yours is easy but it’s the hardest because it wasn’t given to you. Can’t speak for everybody but from about when I was born till about 6 years old I was a kid for a short time I enjoyed it. Then eventually had things just kept happening
To us and looking back idk who we use to blame. But it was ME. The Middle Child. Always there to fuck shii up, eat the straps, and take whatever is left for them. I can’t speak for you but living on earth is Hell for me already. This is my punishment and karma Everyday. I wanna read sum people stories maybe somebody who understands.

Anybody leaving Cali to go south, if I can get close to Houston that would be fine

Anybody heading out of California headed toward Houston. Would love to catch a ride

Just a thought honestly needing a ride and it would help. Monday at the latest I gotta be in New Orleans. Not really expecting much from this but thought why not. It’s a girl I haven’t seen in a while and she’s not expecting me to come see her, she got a new job and I wanna surprise her. Monday is the last time I’ll prob be able to do that or get the chance to at least you know. But it’s cool if anybody could help me out you would be saving my life. Thank you

Just a thought honestly needing a ride and it would help. Monday at the latest I gotta be in New Orleans. Not really expecting much from this but thought why not. It’s a girl I haven’t seen in a while and she’s not expecting me to come see her, she got a new job and I wanna surprise her. Monday is the last time I’ll prob be able to do that or get the chance to at least you know. But it’s cool if anybody could help me out you would be saving my life. Thank you

I tried to go yesterday, roep but I just couldn’t do that to my family went to use a knief but only pierced my arm and my neck. When the blood started coming more and more. I just ain’t wanna do it. So high on everything but it never got there. Honestly didn’t feel like how I thought it would. Idk where I am right now. Today is the first day since losing everything where I actually found sum peace and HOPE. And that’s weird because 4 years ago today my world was shattered in peices and I didn’t know where I was going to go without my brother. Knowing my brother died on the day I was supposed to show up infront of thousands of people hurt a lot tbh. And it’s crazy cuz i feel like im back there in that moment. Sitting down. Computer screen there. Talking to the world and after that is when the real shii came in. This feeling of emptiness. And you can’t even shake it. The human man is wired a certain way and I think I broke the hold which people have on there minds. My mind thinks about a million things at a sec I don’t know why but I feel like I can see events which I’ve been through and can take myself there acting like I’m honestly there tbh so it really feels like I can do anything. But this I truly don’t know. Rolling the dice with this one.

Today is my day lady’s and gentlemen.

27 days ago I selected a date. Not a random one. A planned date to leave. I never knew there was a word for it active sui side. And passive Sui. Been passive pretty much my whole life tbh but 27 days ago it left. My conscience. My love. My need to life. Our human minds have gotten so attached to the flesh that it dosent wanna leave, dosent wanna be disconnected but the curse has gotten end. And I say it ends with me.

Itz motion

Tmr is the day

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

How is it possible to live like this? For the world to move on everyday and your world be paused. To see everybody laughing and joking and you just can’t get it out. Can’t focus enough to laugh or to be present enough to fake it. Even seeing people you were pursuing ain’t the same, not looking for females or friends anymore. Closing yourself off from the world. I always think like what does it look like from someone else perspective? A guy who’s always motivated, caring, loving, uplifting. Now to see him give up. Someone who always had it together. Someone who never gave up. Someone who they probably thought had everything together and would never do something like this. But I tell you I’ve tried y’all truly. Gave it my all. Everything. Tank has been on E for years, put it in neutral and just kept taking one step after another. But you can only push for so long and keep your head up for so long. Today is my sister birthday so I’ll give her the grace of not seeing or hearing bout me like this for her day and month. My brother’s anniversary is next month on the 6th and that’ll be the day. The day where peace is found. My brother died 4 years ago and what people don’t know is that I went with him. Something died in me that day and I haven’t been able to find it since. The SPARK. The Will To Live and Love. Just Gone. Somewhere across the world. This ain’t a cry for help anymore that’s done. This is the story of how simple man’s life can truly be. Don’t ask me for anything anymore I don’t got no positive words, just waiting till I can grab my shii and find a good spot to go something memorable yk in a way. Crazy how it took about 6-7 years to build up all of this shii. The blood, sweat and tears quite literally just to lose it all in 1 week and a half. Crazy Fr how life works but

THE UNTOLD TRUTH…..

If I told you I had the date. The Date set, gnu Ready and set in place just gotta get to the location on that day and take it, gone forever. 21 days and counting kinda getting nervous how at peace I am fr. I’ve recently dislocated my ankle which has taken me away from sports and now I gotta deal with legal trouble. And everything seems easier gone. Weather that be love, family, friends etc I believe everybody is better without *****y ********n and I find peace in knowing this. Was gonna give it one more
Shot fr and just see what I can do but it’s gonna be the same. I’m going to continue to hurt the ones I love around me forever and ever. This cycle and curse in my family has to end. It just has to, trapped and gripped by this darkness for so long now it is my time to make a change, not for me but for the ones who will come long after me. THE CURSE END WITH ME. Just wanted to see if anybody
Had some positive words or talk me out of it or sum idk tbh. But I’ve never felt this gone in my life fr. 22 years old but I’ll leave yall with this. They always say “The Good Ones Die Young”.

How does one live knowing he has already died?