u/Time_Positive8736

My girlfriend and I have been arguing a lot throughout the relationship. Mind you, the relationship is still fairly new as we met last year November but became official this year January. We argued so much that it became emotionally draining for both of us. She, however, brought up the idea of having a no contact break which was fine for me. During this process, she asked me out on a date because it happened to be our monthsary and thought it would be a waste not to celebrate it. Of course me being the dumbass, I went because I missed her. She cried, told me she loved me, and how she missed me. At this point, I was already thinking that we were going to get back together. Until she hit me with the "Idk still what to do in our relationship."

At the present, I asked again what her intentions were, and it was to take a break (no contact) this time with a deadline of 2 weeks. Later that night I messaged her saying that I think 2 weeks was kind of long and if it was okay if she can meet in the middle as it makes me anxious (I have anxiety problems.) She asked me, "Why can't you wait for 2 weeks?" I replied that I just thought 2 weeks was too long to determine if you still loved me and whether to continue the relationship or not. She kept proceeding to say that I didn't understand her space and that whats best for her. I asked, "What about me? I told you I have anxiety problems and its very hard to deal with 1 hour much less 2 weeks. All I'm asking is for you to meet me in the middle." She then called me selfish and say that I couldn't even give 2 weeks to her and wanted to breakup.

On the same night I messaged her, I got information from a friend that she was hanging with the guy that I was uncomfortable with and she promised she wouldn't interact with him whatsoever. I exploded and immediately assumed she was cheating. She promised she wouldn't talk to this guy. Oo admit ko na medj impulsive ginawa ko. Pero legit ba ako yung at fault dito? Ako ba yung gago naghingi lang ng compromise and assurance mula sa jowa ko?

**FOR CONTEXT**
Both of us are gamers. My girlfriend plays with a lot of guys and I don't really mind as long as she introduces me to them or if I ever got to play with them. This guy (let's call him XJ), XJ kept playing with my girlfriend. Of course it was fine she played with him. The actions however were just so weird to me. (1) XJ kept insisting to play with my gf even if he knew that I was playing with her at that time. (2) My gf set an alarm for him because she promised XJ to play at midnight. My reasoning if he's just random guy, I think he wouldnt care. Why go through the effort? (3) XJ and my gf were specifically always together everyday, and they met only for 2 months, in which, I never got introduced or formally met the guy in the span of 2 months. (4) I kid you not that I told my gf that I was uncomfortable with this guy and she proceeded to defend him with her life saying "Oh XJ would never do that!", "XJ isn't that type of person and no he's not weird for doing this and that!" Like she met the guy only for 2 months and acts like she knows him her whole life. She also never parted ways with the guy or cut him for now after telling her I was uncomfortable.

My girlfriend and I have been arguing a lot throughout the relationship. Mind you, the relationship is still fairly new as we met last year November but became official this year January. We argued so much that it became emotionally draining for both of us. She, however, brought up the idea of having a no contact break which was fine for me. During this process, she asked me out on a date because it happened to be our monthsary and thought it would be a waste not to celebrate it. Of course me being the dumbass, I went because I missed her. She cried, told me she loved me, and how she missed me. At this point, I was already thinking that we were going to get back together. Until she hit me with the "Idk still what to do in our relationship."

At the present, I asked again what her intentions were, and it was to take a break (no contact) this time with a deadline of 2 weeks. Later that night I messaged her saying that I think 2 weeks was kind of long and if it was okay if she can meet in the middle as it makes me anxious (I have anxiety problems.) She asked me, "Why can't you wait for 2 weeks?" I replied that I just thought 2 weeks was too long to determine if you still loved me and whether to continue the relationship or not. She kept proceeding to say that I didn't understand her space and that whats best for her. I asked, "What about me? I told you I have anxiety problems and its very hard to deal with 1 hour much less 2 weeks. All I'm asking is for you to meet me in the middle." She then called me selfish and say that I couldn't even give 2 weeks to her and wanted to breakup.

On the same night I messaged her, I got information from a friend that she was hanging with the guy that I was uncomfortable with and she promised she wouldn't interact with him whatsoever.I exploded and immediately assumed she was cheating. She promised she wouldn't talk to this guy.

**FOR CONTEXT**
Both of us are gamers. My girlfriend plays with a lot of guys and I don't really mind as long as she introduces me to them or if I ever got to play with them. This guy (let's call him XJ), XJ kept playing with my girlfriend. Of course it was fine she played with him. The actions however were just so weird to me. (1) XJ kept insisting to play with my gf even if he knew that I was playing with her at that time. (2) My gf set an alarm for him because she promised XJ to play at midnight. My reasoning if he's just random guy, I think he would care. Why go through the effort? (3) XJ and my gf were specifically always together everyday, and they met only for 2 months, in which, I never got introduced or formally met the guy in the span of 2 months. (4) I kid you not that I told my gf that I was uncomfortable with this guy and she proceeded to defend him with her life saying "Oh XJ would never do that!", "XJ isn't that type of person and no he's not weird for doing this and that!" Like she met the guy only for 2 months and acts like she knows him her whole life.

My girlfriend and I have been arguing a lot throughout the relationship. Mind you, the relationship is still fairly new as we met last year November but became official this year January. We argued so much that it became emotionally draining for both of us. She, however, brought up the idea of having a no contact break which was fine for me. During this process, she asked me out on a date because it happened to be our monthsary and thought it would be a waste not to celebrate it. Of course me being the dumbass, I went because I missed her. She cried, told me she loved me, and how she missed me. At this point, I was already thinking that we were going to get back together. Until she hit me with the "Idk still what to do in our relationship."

At the present, I asked again what her intentions were, and it was to take a break (no contact) this time with a deadline of 2 weeks. Later that night I messaged her saying that I think 2 weeks was kind of long and if it was okay if she can meet in the middle as it makes me anxious (I have anxiety problems.) She asked me, "Why can't you wait for 2 weeks?" I replied that I just thought 2 weeks was too long to determine if you still loved me and whether to continue the relationship or not. She kept proceeding to say that I didn't understand her space and that whats best for her. I asked, "What about me? I told you I have anxiety problems and its very hard to deal with 1 hour much less 2 weeks. All I'm asking is for you to meet me in the middle." She then called me selfish and say that I couldn't even give 2 weeks to her and wanted to breakup.

On the same night I messaged her, I got information from a friend that she was hanging with the guy that I was uncomfortable with and she promised she wouldn't interact with him whatsoever.I exploded and immediately assumed she was cheating. She promised she wouldn't talk to this guy.

**FOR CONTEXT**
Both of us are gamers. My girlfriend plays with a lot of guys and I don't really mind as long as she introduces me to them or if I ever got to play with them. This guy (let's call him XJ), XJ kept playing with my girlfriend. Of course it was fine she played with him. The actions however were just so weird to me. (1) XJ kept insisting to play with my gf even if he knew that I was playing with her at that time. (2) My gf set an alarm for him because she promised XJ to play at midnight. My reasoning if he's just random guy, I think he wouldnt care. Why go through the effort? (3) XJ and my gf were specifically always together everyday, and they met only for 2 months, in which, I never got introduced or formally met the guy in the span of 2 months. (4) I kid you not that I told my gf that I was uncomfortable with this guy and she proceeded to defend him with her life saying "Oh XJ would never do that!", "XJ isn't that type of person and no he's not weird for doing this and that!" Like she met the guy only for 2 months and acts like she knows him her whole life. She never also decided to part ways with him for now even after telling her I was uncomfy with him.

Ok so for full context, my girlfriend and I started officially dating around January. Things were going great for around 2 months until that's when we started to have frequent arguments. These arguments usually were small and then escalated into bigger problems. It almost occurred everyday. It occurred so much that my girlfriend broke down and was so stressed because according to her I always believed in what I wanted to believe. I also never listened she said and always tried to explain my side and my feelings over her. I felt so bad that she broke down because of me so I tried to fix my attitude and asked her to give me another chance. She gave me another chance. Many of our friends said that we were incompatible. Most of them said that we should breakup. We never listened though and still pushed through. However, this was the first time my girlfriend wanted to actually breakup and have no contact. Fast forward to now, she told me that I don't notice the small things, I ask too many questions, and the fights are still occurring (when I really . We broke up 2 days ago and shes still trying to message me (yes even she said no contact) , kept giving me mixed signals by saying she loves me and wants to talk to me, and I kept telling her we needed time apart. Yesterday, she called me and wanted to go on a date because it was our monthsary. Me being the dumbass and the emotional person I am, rushed over quickly because I missed her so bad. She cried and said she missed me so I thought we were gonna get back together. However, she still told me she doesn't know what to do with our relationship or if she still wants this. She kept saying "Idk" on questions I asked her. She said she wanted to take a 2 week break to figure out what she needs/wants in this relationship. I wanted her to give me an answer in 1 week as I thought it was enough for her to decide if she still loves me or if she wants to continue but she asked for 2 weeks.

To explain my side:

I agree on the not listening part as I was raised in a not very good household and was always afraid of not being heard. In this household I was thought problems needed to be fixed immediately. That was another complaint of my girlfriend saying I don't know how to give space. My girlfriend is very defensive (and gets mad easily) when I bring up my feelings as well. She gets mad whenever I do as she feels like its not enough or it feels like I'm attacking her. The only things I ask are for her not to talk to me disrespectfully (like cursing at me and saying offensive stuff), quality time, and boundaries. I also tried to break up with her a few times because I felt that my thoughts were never getting through and she always felt I was attacking her. Although I quickly regret and go back to her because its stuff I say because my emotions are heightened and I love her so much that I don't want to lose her.

So in short, how do I handle all of this because I feel like she's going to grow accustomed to me not being around for 2 weeks and eventually break up with me. I feel like I messed up so bad that it got to this point. I really love her and I don't want to lose her.

Hi I normally don’t use reddit anymore, but as of recently I came back due to a problem I’m having now. Anyone willing to listen/talk just for an hour if thats ok. Calls would be ++++ points as I’m not really a typer.