u/Tiny_SpringRoll

I've (28F) been having trouble with this close female friend (32F) for over 2 years. We've been friends for 3-4 years.
She's a great person, but as a friend, she can be selfish and ignorance to the impact of her actions.

I've been engaged for almost 10 months, and I know for sure that I want her at my bachelorette party, and we talked about this as well. She was excited and agreed. This was about a year ago.

A few months ago, we went on a trip oversea together, and she spent a lot on shopping, which is completely fine because so did I. In total, she spent $2000+ on shopping alone.

Back from the trip, I officially start planning my bachelorette, and being incredibly mindful of everyone's budget. I settled on an airbnb only 45 min drive from our area, its $200/person for a 3 days 2 nights trip, we'll share gas money. Excluding food and drinks (she doesn't drink, so it'll only be just food left, which will be 50-100/per). So it total, it'll be between $250-300 for the entire long weekend.

She learned this, and said she can't attend because her car got towed twice in less than 2 months (each time being $200 penalty fine).

I'm obviously sad and said I hope she can still consider to come.

A few weeks passed, I met up with her and while chatting, she mentioned she just bought a fitness ring (similar to Oura ring) for $200+ or something. I didn't say anything and just commented nice ring. But afterwards, I feel some type of ways...

Because she knew about this bachelorette trip almost a year ago, and agreed and appeared to be excited, but opted out due to lack of fund, but bought a ring that is the same amount as the bachelorette trip.

She is generally bad with money and withheld from our group hangouts due to lack of fund, and yet: she once spent $800+ USD in 1 night on online psychic to see if she has a future with an abusive ex. The online psychic happened twice or 3 times. And among other things.

Some other occasions that she came off as being selfish:

1. she cried at my birthday party because an ex (from 3 years ago) texted her, and despite the girls telling her not to read it, she read the message and cried. The rest of the birthday was not the same
2. She agreed to come help with my engagement party the week before, said she'd an urgent doctors appointment at 1pm and cant come until 3pm. She ended up coming at 7-7:30pm. When I asked how was the doctors appointment, she said she overslept and didnt go. I'd waited for her to come help because we only have a few friends to help with setting up the party.

She didnt apoloize for missing on helping with the party planning, nor texted me that she overslept. She just showed up late and joined the party.

3.

1. She was late to 2 of my bridal dress try-on sessions (which she knew about the time and locations beforehand). Her reason was she was busy doing some shopping and lost track of time.

She'd agreed to be a bridesmaid to a traditional tea ceremony, and even tried on the traditional dress. Now I'm rethinking if I should exclude her due to her carelessness in our friendship, or should I just suck it up? She's already seen and tried on the tea ceremony dress, it seems cruel to exclude her now.

What should I do?

I've been having trouble with this particular female friend for over 2 years. We've been friends for 3-4 years.
She's a great person, but as a friend, she can be selfish and ignorance to the impact of her actions.

I've been engaged for almost 10 months, and I know for sure that I want her at my bachelorette party, and we talked about this as well. She was excited and agreed. This was about a year ago.

A few months ago (May), we went on a trip oversea together, and she spent a lot on shopping, which is completely fine because so did I. In total, she spent $2000+ on shopping alone.

Back from the trip, I officially start planning my bachelorette (will happen in Oct) and being incredibly mindful of everyone's budget. I settled on an airbnb only 45 min drive from our area, its $200/person for a 3 days 2 nights trip, we'll share gas money. Excluding food and drinks (she doesn't drink, so it'll only be just food left, which will be 50-100/per). So it total, it'll be between $250-300 for the entire long weekend.

She learned this, and said she can't attend because her car got towed twice in less than 2 months (each time being $200 penalty fine). She's not financial stable and can't make the trip.
I'm obviously sad and said I hope she can still reconsider to come.

A few weeks passed, I met up with her and while chatting, she mentioned she just bought a fitness ring (similar to Oura ring) for $200+ or something. I didn't say anything and just commented nice ring. But afterwards, I feel some type of ways...

Because she knew about this bachelorette trip almost a year ago, and agreed and appeared to be excited, but opted out due to lack of fund, but bought a ring that is the same amount as the bachelorette trip.

Some other occasions that she came off as being selfish:

1. she cried at my birthday party because an ex (from 3 years ago) texted her, and despite the girls telling her not to read it, she read the message and cried. The rest of the birthday was not the same
2. She agreed to come help with my engagement party the week before, said she'd an urgent doctors appointment at 1pm and cant come until 3pm. She ended up coming at 7-7:30pm. When I asked how was the doctors appointment, she said she overslept and didnt go. I'd waited for her to come help because we only have a few friends to help with setting up the party.
3. She awas late to 2 of my bridal dress try-on sessions (which she knew the time and the location beforehand). Her reason was she was busy going shopping and lost track of time.

She'd agreed to be a bridesmaid to a traditional tea ceremony, and even tried on the traditional dress. Now I'm rethinking if I should exclude her due to her carelessness in our friendship, or should I just suck it up? She's already seen and tried on the tea ceremony dress, it seems cruel to exclude her now.

What should I do?