u/TiredWinterDisaster

Hi all!

Continuing our series of various formality levels, this week we are going to discuss formalwear and special occasions!

Is it a challenge for you? Or an exciting opportunity to wear something different? What impact did the Style Key have on your approach?

We already talked about work outfits and loungewear in the past weeks!

Edit: is there a topic you would like to see featured in these convos? We are open to suggestions!

Do you think this could work for SN? I think the top would be forgiving for width, and the fabric is stretchy. I am looking for a dressy dress for my 20th wedding anniversary. Thanks!

I think I found a good rythm with my Roots! I have experiemented with 🌱 to get more creative prints & details and it really has helped with balancing 🍄🌙 which can lean too minimalistic! I am also working on adding more metallic touches for Moon.

The extra outfit is quite minimalist, but the frosted lilac birkenstock, pleated & wide pants and long cardigan give some visual interest imo! Perfect for a relaxed day off (and I know the proportions might not be the best for me as I'm wide, but not long, so the long cardigan is a bit much while the cropped wide pants make me seem wider & shorter, but... I still like it!)

Lately I've been craving more warmth & cosiness - some of it is certainly the wheel of the year turning, bc I've always been fond of fall and winter and do associate it with softer light, cozy knits & interiors, fairy lights and clear starry skies, but also the sharing of food, light and warmth between humans that was so important for surviving as groups.

But some of it is also, I think, relaxing into my placement, and wanting more softness for myself. In the Style Roots I use both Moon & Earth, and my version of Moon has always been more mysterious & playful than edgy and sharp. I think Earth gives it warmth and grounding, and I do love more earthy tones and warm woods. For some reason I really backed myself into a corner by confining myself to a winter palette, which ended up very restrictive bc I basically don't like any pastels, icy or bright colours on myself.

Someone in the Style Roots sub suggested that I might benefit from more autumn colours, and it kinda resonated with me. I started out thinking I was either Deep Autumn or Deep Winter, bc deep colours are really what I tend to be drawn to, and I generally like colors to be a little more muted.

I looked at the yin & yang boards and the yin & yang parties that I made for Kibbe months ago, and what strikes me is how warm & softly luminous they are - muted, deep but not cool. Earthy in a gently magical way, serene but not in a minimal way, more in a contemplation of beauty kinda way. And I think that's something I want to convey more in my style, for myself and others (and I think this is what Rita was trying to tell me with her shimmering lake in the late afternoon analogy - serenity, beauty and depth).

I'm probably incoherently rambling, sorry, but I thought I would share!

Yeah that is very underwhelming by most standards, but hear me out:

• no black. Like, at all.
• totally new colour combo for me.
• textures that make the colors *more* fun.

It's practically a full neon outfit by my standards.

Anyway, that is what I have with these two brand new items. Not sure I will style them like that, we will see. I definitely need a top underneath the cardigan bc wool is super scratchy to me, even this rather soft mixed fabric. Now I just need the temperature to drop to experiment bc the 5 minutes needed to take that pic were like stepping into a sauna.

Off to the gym - have a fun one!

This year is so effed up weather wise... I cannot remember spending a bday in sandals before. Anyway! Here is a little fall inspo board - gooey warmth and fiery colors.

I thrifted this jumpsuit a few weeks ago and I am in love with it! It is to replace a dull beige one that I previously had. While I loved the practicality of it, it felt too plain for me, and the color was also not the best for me. This one is way brighter, with wide legs that flow in a super satisfying manner and a lot of visual interest. I also think it fits my silhouette pretty well (but I am notoriously bad at seeing what looks okay-ish on me so... who knows!). And it has pockets!!

I paired it with wooden algae earrings, my teal xero flats, and my trusty denim jacket (with my Happy Givers pin). Everything is thrifted except for the shoes! I also experimented with my hair with a half-up look, with a simple black flat hairclip.

Have a good week-end!

I am significantly dowsizing - we are 4 ppl in a 90m2 appartment so we don't have that much stuff to begin with, but it has slowly increased in the past years. My kids are now teens and they have donated a lot of their childhood stuff too, which has allowed them to have bedrooms that are more 'grown' & enjoyable.... We're enjoying having a lot more space & visual serenity. Having less & being more organised is also super helpful for my husband who has ADHD!

Here is the bathroom cupboard - much better than it was (this is all the items for me & my husband, my daughers have their own sink cupboard). I am also Marie Kondo-ing our wardrobe, and it is so satisfying visually, plus it feels like the clothes are more valued & respected this way, which I appreciate.

Last pic is our balcony declutter - my husband found a bunch of stuff we don't need (or even knew we had)... the clay pots went to our local no buy group, the rest to the bin.

My 1st instinctive answer was black, but then again it is my answer for everything 😅

Thinking on it a bit more, I would say red, in a bright, clear shade. Black feels like a full neutral for me (I am also a Clear Winter with very dark brown/black hair so it just doesn't read especially edgy or powerful I guess).

Red is a colour that is harder to ignore, so whenever I wear it it feels like I am extra visible, like my presence is suddenly more tangible somehow. It feels quite powerful and I mostly use it in small touches as you can see! But I would love a red dress like Gemma Chan's here for a special event...

After a super hot spring/summer, I am more than ready for fall... and I crave simplicity. Solid colours, simple shoes, practical pants, minimal jewellery... with just a bit of an edge maybe? It feels a bit more urban too.

It is in contrast witht this summer where I experimented a lot with prints & more feminine fits - more 🌱 overall - and statement earrings. I really dislike the heat and I went a bit all over the place to try and find outfits that were bearable and still like me? It is a struggle 😅 - especially growing older, i feel like my style has to be more mature & feminine but I am not going to lie, it chaffes! Anyway here's the vibe I am - with a lot of relief - going for. Not sure what it means Roots wise!

What about you?

This was super fun!!

Here's August recap, plus the moodboards I made for week 2 of the Use the Style Key course, and the medicine ones from week 1 - I ended up making one for RD medicine as well, and it was almost easier and ended up to be more my jam aesthetically speaking.

The roles ones were interesting bc while context is easy, general roles don't inspire me much (or at all tbh) so I really had to think about it! It was fun but Idk how much help they will be in practice... I am still reflecting on them. I think the general impression I get of them is joyful warmth? Something like that. Which is funny considering how much black I am wearing lol! I think I also realise that moodboards are fun and all but they always seem a bit hollow to me. I think I might go about them in the wrong way - I was a disciplined student and I might treat them as assignments more than artistic expressions... idk. I made dozens of them over the years and I don't think it got me anywhere lol

Edit: also copying what I wrote abt Right/Left logic on another thread: I will also say, if I am perfectly honest, that showing my subjective self to the world seems terrifying. Not only bc it is so vulnerable - like showing your soft underbelly - but also bc I know firsthand what's in there lol... some of it is effed up and probably better kept to myself. So yes I admit I wear whatever costume is the most appropriate & inoffensive to my situations, and it is partly out of fear of beeing seen for who I am and being found lacking/too much. In a sense, Right logic contains me - I think this is strategic hiding lol

Update at the bottom!

So tonight after work I am going to a restaurant with 3 other women. One of them is a friend, that, although not super close, I have known for a long time (our husbands are childhood friends). The other 2 are her friends and I don't know them at all. The friend I know organised the evening and picked the restaurant bc it was a great 'girls place'. My stress level immediately skyrocketted. I am not very girly for a crap ton of reasons, and she is very much so, always very pretty and feminine, and I guess her friends might be too. I had half a mind to cancel, which is my kneejerk reaction to social things that I am not comfortable with.

But I am trying hard to be more open to these kind of things so I decided to put aside my panic and google the restaurant instead. It is next to a local river, with a nice seaside/beach restaurant kind of vibe. All warm, light oranges & yellows, some floated woods, colorful cocktails.

I immediately thought of my impressionist inspired earrings and built my outfit from there: a bit seaside inspired, relaxed but put-together. Light pink sneakers to echo the earrings and bc it is raining today. My minimal makeup routine (concealer, blush, tinted lipbalm) that I enjoy. I am also wearing my silver necklace with hearts engraved with my kids' names & birthdates as emotional support (and girly touch with the hearts, maybe?), and my old but lived-in jeans jacket. As a finishing touch I added a dab of Tom Ford's 'Bitter Peach' perfume (I have a miniature of it) bc it feels super summery and sweet, and the bottle is orange which fits the theme!

I try not to think abt what the other ladies will wear bc that will make me stress again 😅 - so instead I focused on the atmosphere of the place (this is the easiest part for me and when I focus my energy here I get the best results) & how to find my place there, and what kind of outfit would help me. I keep on firmly telling myself that I will have fun lol

I'll post an update tmrw - wish me luck 😅

Update: I had a great time! I felt good in this, even if I was dressed very differently from the other ladies (who all wore heeled sandals & shiny jewellery and makeup!). The rest of the folks at the restaurant wore various things, from very trendy insta types to avant-guarde/edgy, so there was enough range there that I didn't feel out of place. The restaurant itself is very cozy and relaxing, and when we got out the sky was clear and the moon was full, which ended my evening nicely as I always love to see the full moon. I was comfy and able to be present & not think abt my outfit at all which was super nice & very relaxing. Not taking pics of me in the outfit really helped too, and I resisted the impulse to get changed into something 'more' dressed up or feminine or impressive before going out bc I was stressing out. It really gives me further food for thought considering Up and Down.

Really love this new piece!!

This is actually a new piece - but already a favourite!! It is super soft, I like the length of the sleeves, and the bigget leopard print is nicer for me than smaller ones. Paired with black tee, black skirt & espadrille wedges! Unconventional office look but my workplace has no offical dress code and it is polished enough imo... I am working on the 1st week of the Use your Style Key course, and using the style medicine (luxury or abundance for RU). Last slide is my board to represent it.

Have a god day y'all!

This is this morning's outfit to get bread from our local bakery - complete with the baguette tote bag (bc the Fench are gonna French). I have a black Nirvana tee under the jacket (I was a teen in the 90s, the nostalgia is strong!). I like graphic tees for this bc they bring some visual interest. The jacket has tonal embroidery on the shoulders and the material is soft enough to flow & wrap instead of constricting me. The shoes are actually my trail shoes, I also use them to hike and to run errands like this. I don't have much planned today- chores, quick run to the sports store to find new shoes for the teens' school year, some sewing this afternoon.

I always find it super relaxing to not be 'on' and focus on comfort & practicality tbh! I also feel less self-conscious bc let's face it I blend in more easily dressed like this in my casual, urban environment.

What do you wear on off days like these? What is your process for these in regards to your quadrant?

*edit: I also just purchased the Use your style key course, I hope to get more great insight & advice! Let me know if you've done it!*