u/Top-Tiger-684

I’m 24F and I’ve never had a job before, so I’ve never really had a boss or worked in a professional environment. Honestly, I can be pretty clumsy and disorganized sometimes. I’m trying to work on myself, though.

I recently got my first job as an administrative assistant, and I feel incredibly lucky. I’m actually excited because I know this job will teach me how to be more organized, responsible, and confident. I’ll be working directly under the business manager, which is also what makes me so nervous.

During the interview, I think I made a really good impression, and they want to move forward with hiring me. The manager told me that she is currently going through cancer treatment. Her doctors have told her that she should be okay, but she needs someone to help her manage the day-to-day responsibilities of the business. She said she wants me to help her with pretty much everything.
I’m genuinely honored that she trusts me enough to give me this opportunity, but now I’m terrified.
I keep thinking, What if she realizes I’m not as capable as she thought I was? What if I make a bunch of mistakes? What if I let her down when she already has so much going on?

I haven’t even started yet, and I’m already worrying that I’m going to fail her. Part of me almost wants to quit before I even start so she doesn’t have to find out how inexperienced and clumsy I am.

I know this probably sounds irrational, but this is my first job and I really want to do well. How do you get over this fear when starting your first job? And what can I do to make sure I’m actually useful and reliable to my manager?

It's in person, so not a scam. Thank you so much!

I mop my floors and keep my apartment clean, but I can’t pull out the fridge or stove because they’re way too heavy. I honestly never thought that would be a problem. This is my first time living on my own I used to live with my parents, so I never had to worry about things like this before.
But then the roaches started showing up. The pest control person came to my apartment and pulled the fridge out, and OMG… it was like an army of roaches back there. 😭😭
I’m honestly so embarrassed and overwhelmed. Now every time I go to the apartment office, I feel so embarrassed because I’m worried they’ll think my apartment is dirty. I keep thinking, “What if they think I caused this?”
I genuinely didn’t know what was happening behind the appliances. Has anyone else experienced this? I feel so gross and ashamed!

And now I’m thinking I might need to change apartments or at least switch units, so I’ve been having ongoing conversations with the apartment office about it, which honestly makes me feel even worse. I can’t even hide or pretend everything is fine because I have to keep going back and talking to them about the roaches. 😭

I just wanted to share this powerful belief that is helping me be my own cheerleader, someone who believes in me just how to be my own best friend and It made me strong person!

I also say to myself when faced with challenge that is just beyond my capacity I remind myself " God has made me a strong person for a reason"

These things are genuinely helping me stay true to my vision
I used to learn that I am a mess or not capable when I make a mistake making me insecure now I just ask myself what skill gap does this mistake reveal? I see it as Gods gift for me to improve I don't beat myself up over small things I don't think bad about myself no more! I am happy how much I have grown!

I just wanted to share this powerful belief that is helping me be my own cheerleader, someone who believes in me just how to be my own best friend and It made me strong person!

I also say to myself when faced with challenge that is just beyond my capacity I remind myself " God has made me a strong person for a reason"

These things are genuinely helping me stay true to my vision
I used to learn that I am a mess or not capable when I make a mistake making me insecure now I just ask myself what skill gap does this mistake reveal? I see it as Gods gift for me to improve I don't beat myself up over small things I don't think bad about myself no more! I am happy how much I have grown!

I just wanted to share this powerful belief that is helping me be my own cheerleader, someone who believes in me just how to be my own best friend and It made me strong person!

I also say to myself when faced with challenge that is just beyond my capacity I remind myself " God has made me a strong person for a reason"

These things are genuinely helping me stay true to my vision
I used to learn that I am a mess or not capable when I make a mistake making me insecure now I just ask myself what skill gap does this mistake reveal? I see it as Gods gift for me to improve I don't beat myself up over small things I don't think bad about myself no more! I am happy how much I have grown!

So a little context I'm a 24F and my husband is 40m. I want to be with him because he is stable guy and I just didn't want to date around we live in apartment and we have a very normal life he is not like rich rich but he pays for my college and cover all the expenses! so education is just so important and I have a humble upbringing I never had a chance to travel myself and since I married early I had like 2 years gap in my college so just this is to show you that I want to do this so much! our daughter will be going to daycare full time next term because I will have class. So my husband sounds very disappointed in me for deciding to do it! I enjoyed my time here but he is not talking to me or anything and I am now thinking did I like make someone who is helping me in a lot of ways feel bad because I was kinda selfish!

It is really difficult to me that I am trying to fit in and I am very energetic person but also present myself as a married person like I think he expected me to say I'm not gonna leave her! I know a lot people from my church will start thinking of me as ignorant mother! he also has his friend whose wife is just so into her family and when she knows I wasn't home she invited them for dinner I know her and I know she did that because she is just a very good person but now I am starting to think my husband is jealous of their mirrage and he kinda wishes I was more wifey you know like giving and just caring idk I think I am but I am ambitious silly insecure and sometimes a little too excited about small things and I don't know how to be cool and presentable I am just happy girl and I know I am a mom but I really don't and won't use my kids as a reason for not living the life I want so whatever I do for myself is being seen as selfishness because motherhood is suppose to be sacrifice. sometimes I want to take a loan and just so I will not feel like I owe my husband my life it's just I wish there is financial way Incan take care of myself so I don't feel like I owe him! I know there is so many things.

okay I vented but here are what I want your take

1. Did I do something wrong I know it's my life but I'm also sometimes just don't know how to think of this was it selfish rude ungreatful or even uncaring and just not what a caring mother would do?
2. If my husband is disappointed in me which just breaks my heart and soul I want this guy to be proud of me! what do I do?
3. To help me feel like I am contributing and or at least take care of some expenses or very important not to feel like I owe him everything because whenever he pays I can feel the heaviness in my heart and it just put me in stiuations were when I mess up i'm being ungrateful should I take student loan because they keep offering me subsidized but I thought it is dumb to get into debt to avoid feeling certain way
4. I'm still in the trip I will go back tomorrow which is why I am writing this idk what to say if he is like avoids me like what he is doing now or comment about our daughter or just you know find subtle ways or even explicitly show disappointment