u/Tracy77640

I'm 35F and I've been in a long-distance relationship with my European boyfriend for about six months. We only get to see each other every 3–4 months for one or two weeks. He's genuinely kind, loving, respectful, and whenever he visits Vietnam, he pays for everything.

From the beginning, I was honest about what I wanted in a long-term partner. When I say I want a "provider," I don't mean someone to financially support me or pay for everything. I mean someone who makes me feel cared for, protected, and secure. We talked about this early on, and he understood. We even agreed that if we ever lived together, we'd split expenses around 70/30 since he earns significantly more than I do.

However, as our relationship has become more serious, I've started noticing some fundamental differences.

He grew up with a very strong 50/50 mindset. His parents divorced, and his mother received half of his father's assets even though she hadn't worked, which left him with deep concerns about financial fairness. He's also mentioned wanting a prenuptial agreement. I completely understand where his fears come from, but part of me wonders whether he's genuinely comfortable with our arrangement or if he's only agreeing because he's in love right now.

Another issue is that whenever he visits Vietnam, he relies on me for almost everything besides paying. I make the plans, book the hotels, arrange transportation, figure out directions, solve problems, and make most of the decisions. When I asked why he depended on me so much, he said that since he's paying for the entire trip and money doesn't fall from the sky, he wants to be "lazy" and be taken care of a little.

That answer really bothered me because it made me feel less like his partner and more like his mother or travel manager.

Recently, we had a very serious conversation about our future. I am 100% certain that I never want children. I asked him to really think about whether he wants them because I believe it's one of the biggest life decisions a couple can make. After thinking about it, he told me, "I think I want children."

We both agreed that neither of us wants to give up our core values, but neither of us wants to lose this relationship either. I told him I couldn't be the one to say goodbye, so I left the decision to him. He simply said he doesn't want to give up.

I truly believe he loves me, and I love him too. But sometimes his love feels... young. Sincere and genuine, but not mature enough to make me feel emotionally safe or confident about building a future together. I often feel like I'm carrying most of the mental load, while he's carrying more of the financial side.

I'm completely torn. Part of me wants to keep fighting for this relationship because we still love each other. Another part of me wonders if we're just postponing an inevitable breakup because our visions for the future—especially about having children—are fundamentally different.

If you were in my position, would you keep trying, or would you let go while the relationship is still relatively new? I'd really appreciate hearing different perspectives.

I'm 35F and I've been in a long-distance relationship with my European boyfriend for about six months. We only get to see each other every 3–4 months for one or two weeks. He's genuinely kind, loving, respectful, and whenever he visits Vietnam, he pays for everything.

From the beginning, I was honest about what I wanted in a long-term partner. When I say I want a "provider," I don't mean someone to financially support me or pay for everything. I mean someone who makes me feel cared for, protected, and secure. We talked about this early on, and he understood. We even agreed that if we ever lived together, we'd split expenses around 70/30 since he earns significantly more than I do.

However, as our relationship has become more serious, I've started noticing some fundamental differences.

He grew up with a very strong 50/50 mindset. His parents divorced, and his mother received half of his father's assets even though she hadn't worked, which left him with deep concerns about financial fairness. He's also mentioned wanting a prenuptial agreement. I completely understand where his fears come from, but part of me wonders whether he's genuinely comfortable with our arrangement or if he's only agreeing because he's in love right now.

Another issue is that whenever he visits Vietnam, he relies on me for almost everything besides paying. I make the plans, book the hotels, arrange transportation, figure out directions, solve problems, and make most of the decisions. When I asked why he depended on me so much, he said that since he's paying for the entire trip and money doesn't fall from the sky, he wants to be "lazy" and be taken care of a little.

That answer really bothered me because it made me feel less like his partner and more like his mother or travel manager.

Recently, we had a very serious conversation about our future. I am 100% certain that I never want children. I asked him to really think about whether he wants them because I believe it's one of the biggest life decisions a couple can make. After thinking about it, he told me, "I think I want children."

We both agreed that neither of us wants to give up our core values, but neither of us wants to lose this relationship either. I told him I couldn't be the one to say goodbye, so I left the decision to him. He simply said he doesn't want to give up.

I truly believe he loves me, and I love him too. But sometimes his love feels... young. Sincere and genuine, but not mature enough to make me feel emotionally safe or confident about building a future together. I often feel like I'm carrying most of the mental load, while he's carrying more of the financial side.

I'm completely torn. Part of me wants to keep fighting for this relationship because we still love each other. Another part of me wonders if we're just postponing an inevitable breakup because our visions for the future—especially about having children—are fundamentally different.

If you were in my position, would you keep trying, or would you let go while the relationship is still relatively new? I'd really appreciate hearing different perspectives.

I'm 35F and I've been in a long-distance relationship with my European boyfriend for about six months. We only get to see each other every 3–4 months for one or two weeks. He's genuinely kind, loving, respectful, and whenever he visits Vietnam, he pays for everything.

From the beginning, I was honest about what I wanted in a long-term partner. When I say I want a "provider," I don't mean someone to financially support me or pay for everything. I mean someone who makes me feel cared for, protected, and secure. We talked about this early on, and he understood. We even agreed that if we ever lived together, we'd split expenses around 70/30 since he earns significantly more than I do.

However, as our relationship has become more serious, I've started noticing some fundamental differences.

He grew up with a very strong 50/50 mindset. His parents divorced, and his mother received half of his father's assets even though she hadn't worked, which left him with deep concerns about financial fairness. He's also mentioned wanting a prenuptial agreement. I completely understand where his fears come from, but part of me wonders whether he's genuinely comfortable with our arrangement or if he's only agreeing because he's in love right now.

Another issue is that whenever he visits Vietnam, he relies on me for almost everything besides paying. I make the plans, book the hotels, arrange transportation, figure out directions, solve problems, and make most of the decisions. When I asked why he depended on me so much, he said that since he's paying for the entire trip and money doesn't fall from the sky, he wants to be "lazy" and be taken care of a little.

That answer really bothered me because it made me feel less like his partner and more like his mother or travel manager.

Recently, we had a very serious conversation about our future. I am 100% certain that I never want children. I asked him to really think about whether he wants them because I believe it's one of the biggest life decisions a couple can make. After thinking about it, he told me, "I think I want children."

We both agreed that neither of us wants to give up our core values, but neither of us wants to lose this relationship either. I told him I couldn't be the one to say goodbye, so I left the decision to him. He simply said he doesn't want to give up.

I truly believe he loves me, and I love him too. But sometimes his love feels... young. Sincere and genuine, but not mature enough to make me feel emotionally safe or confident about building a future together. I often feel like I'm carrying most of the mental load, while he's carrying more of the financial side.

I'm completely torn. Part of me wants to keep fighting for this relationship because we still love each other. Another part of me wonders if we're just postponing an inevitable breakup because our visions for the future—especially about having children—are fundamentally different.

If you were in my position, would you keep trying, or would you let go while the relationship is still relatively new? I'd really appreciate hearing different perspectives.

I'm 35F and I've been in a long-distance relationship with my European boyfriend for about six months. We only get to see each other every 3–4 months for one or two weeks. He's genuinely kind, loving, respectful, and whenever he visits Vietnam, he pays for everything.

From the beginning, I was honest about what I wanted in a long-term partner. When I say I want a "provider," I don't mean someone to financially support me or pay for everything. I mean someone who makes me feel cared for, protected, and secure. We talked about this early on, and he understood. We even agreed that if we ever lived together, we'd split expenses around 70/30 since he earns significantly more than I do.

However, as our relationship has become more serious, I've started noticing some fundamental differences.

He grew up with a very strong 50/50 mindset. His parents divorced, and his mother received half of his father's assets even though she hadn't worked, which left him with deep concerns about financial fairness. He's also mentioned wanting a prenuptial agreement. I completely understand where his fears come from, but part of me wonders whether he's genuinely comfortable with our arrangement or if he's only agreeing because he's in love right now.

Another issue is that whenever he visits Vietnam, he relies on me for almost everything besides paying. I make the plans, book the hotels, arrange transportation, figure out directions, solve problems, and make most of the decisions. When I asked why he depended on me so much, he said that since he's paying for the entire trip and money doesn't fall from the sky, he wants to be "lazy" and be taken care of a little.

That answer really bothered me because it made me feel less like his partner and more like his mother or travel manager.

Recently, we had a very serious conversation about our future. I am 100% certain that I never want children. I asked him to really think about whether he wants them because I believe it's one of the biggest life decisions a couple can make. After thinking about it, he told me, "I think I want children."

We both agreed that neither of us wants to give up our core values, but neither of us wants to lose this relationship either. I told him I couldn't be the one to say goodbye, so I left the decision to him. He simply said he doesn't want to give up.

I truly believe he loves me, and I love him too. But sometimes his love feels... young. Sincere and genuine, but not mature enough to make me feel emotionally safe or confident about building a future together. I often feel like I'm carrying most of the mental load, while he's carrying more of the financial side.

I'm completely torn. Part of me wants to keep fighting for this relationship because we still love each other. Another part of me wonders if we're just postponing an inevitable breakup because our visions for the future—especially about having children—are fundamentally different.

If you were in my position, would you keep trying, or would you let go while the relationship is still relatively new? I'd really appreciate hearing different perspectives.