u/TraditionalCar2653

I found a really pretty wedding dress at the thrift store with lamb of mutton sleeves but it can also look like a bertha when the sleeves are down. Originally I wanted to dye it for a cosplay but when I wore it and looked in the mirror it makes my heart beat as I think about one day my boyfriend and I will get married. Thinking of being with him forever makes my cheeks feel warm. I think I want to take a few more pictures before dying it. I like that the dress isn't even perfect. The inside has messy stitches maybe from mending. I hope the last person who wore it had a happy love.

I wrote a few small storyboards of things that happened in my life because people talk about how you make sadness into art. It kinda makes me sad though because too much sadness some people can view it as torture porn depending on the person like this story of this one girl on Instagram who kept on getting harassed and she had trouble saying no (it was a sfw story but with a trigger warning) . The comment section was calling it a torture porn story even though it didn't glorify the sad moments.

Anyways I only wrote a few moments of my life and I'd be scared that my story would be called like torture porn. I wanted to kill myself at one point but my dad thought that suicidal people were selfish and weak. He soon kinda changed his mind but at the same time he thinks people who are depressed are weak. My mom has this ocd so when things are not as orderly in her way she gets really upset, and she's so anxious that when I'm not as good academically as my brother or some friends she compared me to them, and she's constantly scared of me being homeless since I was a little girl. When I got B average grades she told me that I was going to end up on the streets, same ofc when I was doing less well. Sometimes when I do things for myself they in a negative context call me selfish like when I didn't want to follow their way of doing stuff or felt really bad because I didn't like how they treat me. Oh and my brother gets upset with all the fighting even though he fights as much as me or imo pretty intensely as well but he constantly tells me to shut up and make peace. And he doesn't treat my parents and I as equals. When I had psychosis my mom wanted to cast the demon in me. I got overstimulated and told her I didn't want to do through with fate healers and going to churches for people to treat me as an outcast but they didn't listen so I was gagging and about to puke. The pastor told her that I was almost puking because the demon is going out of my body. She said I had a demon on me because I heard voices in my head. My ex boyfriends are really mean and the majority of them cheated on me. First one called me useless and stupid, and the other main one kept on telling me to speak up more and didn't believe I was doing enough to stand up for myself even though I've been doing that for multiple years of my life. Right now my parents are getting a divorce. Whenever I'm in a hopeless state my parents wonder why I'm like the way I am.

Good news they're getting a divorce so hoping that less tension makes people happier and less arguing. I have a positive relationship with my current boyfriend and I know I'll be okay. It's just really hard sometimes I forgive and forget everything