It’s impossible to find so I want to spread the word in hopes that it gets more popular. It’s so good that even people with no dietary restrictions like it.
When I was 18-onward I started developing this type of “anxiety attack” (what I always called it) where it almost felt like I was wacked in the head and everything suddenly felt off. I could be anywhere and then I would instantly start to perceive everything around me as ever so slightly different and shifted from reality. This kicked off an instant fight or flight response and made me panic. My fear was I would start to behave in a way that would embarrass myself, or that I would have a medical episode. I always thought I was either having a seizure or a stroke and it was almost impossible to calm myself down when I experienced it.
Outwardly I was probably behaving somewhat weirdly (fidgety/flighty) but internally it was pure unfettered panic. I felt completely and utter doom, melancholy, and hopelessness along with the physical symptoms of being dizzy, heart racing, hearing and vision changes, with tremors. Everything around me was moving too fast, sounds became louder, and any stimuli was overwhelming to the point where I would need to isolate immediately. I’m talking fetal position, ice cold water to the face, pinching myself to distract from the whirlwind just so I could get to a point where I felt like I could leave the situation I was in to panic alone at home. These episodes would happen when I was driving and I would have to pull over to collect myself immediately.
I had cat scans, mris, blood tests, every random thing my doctor and I could think of tested and I never got any “answers”. Luckily I had a doctor that listened and really wanted to ease my mind. Test after test came back that physically nothing was wrong. This limited my ability to participate in life normally for a long time. I would avoid doing anything in fear of having an episode. I genuinely thought I would never be able to participate in life.
Eventually with therapy and psychiatric medication I am very far removed from this time in my life but I can still envision the feeling. It ruined the entirety of my 20s. Over the years I have heard so many other young women describe this exact same experience. I’ve listened to people explain their young adult daughter’s “mysterious illness” that mirrors my experience. I’ve overheard women at the salon discuss these symptoms and express the same hopelessness I felt. I have had countless people online reach out to me about this over the years when I would describe how it felt when I was looking for answers.
I’m just wondering if other people are hearing the same and what they think about WHY this is so prevalent? My heart goes out to anyone experiencing this and they should know they are not alone. My theory has been that it has to be related to the prevalence of technology and screens. I love new tech and have always been extremely interested in it throughout the years, but clearly it is unnatural and disruptive to the way our minds work.
We lost two of our sweet dotties today to a fox around 6pm. I have been hearing the fox bark and cry around 3-5 am for the past week hunting to feed her kits so I’ve kept everyone locked up. We “mysteriously” lost a hen last week (she snuck out of their enclosure through a gap where the gate is) and since then have been keeping a close eye, but I thought I could let them forage while I worked around the farm. I saw a fox the size of a German Shepherd running out into the woods and I went dashing for my girls and found one lifeless left behind and one totally missing with piles of feathers. I’m devastated for them and my rooster, Tug Boat. He’s as mean as a snake but let me pet him tonight. We only have one Dottie left and they were thick as thieves as a little quad up until now and she’s abruptly lost all of her sisters that we’ve raised since chicks. I’m so worried for her. Do me a favor and hug and kiss and hug and kiss and hug and kissssss your little girls for me. Give them extra treats in honor of my babies.