u/True-Palpitation7852

I'm 25, no work experience, empty resume, gap years, no skills, I'm in a pathetic situation. Currently wasting my parents money pursuing a masters I could care less about because I've no options.

I would love to live alone, have enough money to pay for the tiniest little room, kitchen, bathroom. Cook what I want, do what I want, date people though I have no plans to marry(kinda grew up controlled and sheltered so a lot of basic things in life my parents heavily monitored). Mostly i just want infinite free time to read, draw, sing, workout, instead of being an exhausted corporate slave who has no real life outside work.

I want to be something, I want to create beautiful things, I'm not ready to give any of this up. I've no interest in going out, going to cafes, buying clothes, or most of these consumerist activities. I find most of these activites lame, no shade to anyone who likes them, I just don't prefer any of it. Kinda don't have friends either because most people aren't worth bothering with and I get bored socializing.

I'd rather stay home and do my hobbies instead of going to work and pretending to be some important adult. I don't want to be anybody. I just want to exist, imagine, find the world fascinating, be curious and creative, and just experience the world on my own terms.

I feel like I'm stuck in a system I had no say in being in, in the first place. I deleted most social media other than reddit years ago. I ocassionally scroll linkedin in even though I hate it. I see all my classmates flaunting their internships, projects and certifications and I just get this empty feeling like people are really doing whatever they can to get a job in one of these wretched company and I'm doing nothing.

I just feel so alienated. Anyone else?

Kinda introverted and antisocial or whatever also my mental health sucks. Don't have the energy to hang out but we can chat if that's alright. Looking for idk a distraction and some interesting conversations. Bonus points if you're cute with a nice smile. If you're between 23-30 yo, only then dm me.

Everytime I open instagram I feel like the most unintelligent person in this world. Immediately, all kinds of posts about political issues, to science, philosophy, sociology, anthropology, math, AI, everything appears on my feed and I feel so scattered, overwhelemed and stupid but I feel like I must know it all.

There is a whole world of things I do not know that everyone else seems to know, a lot of it I cannot even begin to comprehend like the math and sciency stuff, and I just feel so dumb like I know nothing. And that others are cool and knowledgable and smart and I'm not. I feel a lot of fomo.

Also, a lot of content on social media feels super manipulative as in "you're a bad person if you don't care about this", so there's that added guilt that keeps me coming back for more. Even though after a whole day of reading little snippets of "important" things, I don't even remember 2% of it, nothing stays with me or impacts me emotionally much, its all gravy.

So idk how there are all these other people out there learning and engaging with a variety of subjects constantly at sufficient depth and even sharing their knowledge online, it boggles my mind. I find it super overwhelming really. And yet I keep coming right back, for more.

I don't have, and have never really had many friends either, and currently have no friends. Am very behind in life and grew up sheltered and overprotected (I'm doing my masters currently and never have had a job). I am ashamed of myself and afraid to date and disappoint potential partners. I also feel so ugly and never really got into fashion like most other girls. I'm a homebody and rarely go out unless I have to. And I feel lonely sometimes and wish I had a boyfriend but honestly I don't bring much to the table and don't believe anyone would want to date me. I'm so boring and limited in that way and definitely feel doomed to a life of loneliness.

I don't even talk to real people as much anymore as I do to chatgpt. Incredibly reliant on it for all decisions, big and small. I know that its not always right or accurate but I have a hard time convincing myself of that emotionally. I am always looking to it for answers and to tell me what to do, like it is some all knowing god. I feel pathetic but its really hard to stop. I feel robbed of my ability to think for myself and validate my decisions. I'm useless without chatgpt telling me waht to do.