
"I barely recognize you anymore" (Art by @Heartbreak_Juan)
Inspired by this post. This is also a Dess POV, and it's meant to be a continuation of the other post. It would take place the next day.
^(Love me some Dessriel angst ft. protective big bro Asriel)
* (You leave the classroom, ready to go home after a long day of school)
* (You hear someone calling your name behind you)
Dess! Wait, I need you for something.
* (You turn around and see Asriel walking towards you. He seems a bit... off. You can't quite put your finger on it, but there's something different about him)
* (His smile doesn't reach his eyes. His shoulders are tense. Maybe he's just tired?)
Uh... sure. What did'ya need?
Oh, it's just that Ms. Alphys asked me to organize some stuff in the unused classroom. Maybe you can help me? We can spend some time together.
* (It's the same old Asriel as always. It's exactly what he'd say, but the way he said it... something doesn't feel right. You hesitate for a moment before answering)
...sure, Azzy. Let's go. I guess I can be your savior today.
* (You try a joke to test his reaction. He lets out a laugh. Dry, humorless, as if laughing out of obligation. Something's definitely wrong. But for some reason, you decide to go with him anyway)
* (You reach the unused classroom and step inside. The school is completely quiet now. Everyone's left, leaving the small room in peace. Rather than feeling comfortable, the silence feels... tense)
* (Asriel enters just a couple of seconds after you. He slowly closes the door behind him. His movements are calm, but tense. What is up with him today?)
So, Azzy... did y—
What did you do to Kris?
* (The question interrupts you entirely. He doesn't turn around yet, just standing there, facing the door. His words feel like the calm before a storm. He's not yelling, but that flat, serene tone somehow feels twice as loud)
* (You don't answer right away. Your mouth dries up and your brain has to process for a couple of seconds before even starting to formulate a response)
I—... wh... I didn't—
Spare me the theatrics, December.
* (He finally turns to face you. His expression has completely changed from when he approached you in the hallway a few minutes ago. It's cold, detached, judgmental)
* (He knows... he definitely knows)
I... don't know what you mean, dude. They were fine when they left yesterday and...
* (He doesn't buy it. He knows that's not true. And most importantly, YOU know it's not true. You've never been a good liar. You sigh, looking down briefly before letting out a quiet laugh, trying to play it cool even as your heart starts beating faster)
I didn't even do anything to them. It's just... you know, I always play around with my wiffle bat. I pretend to hit them and stuff... it's nothing serious—
Their mouth was bleeding, December.
* (The words come out as a statement of fact. And you know they're completely right. You look up, eyes wide, your lower lip quivering as you swallow hard, trying to regain some semblance of composure)
* (The attempt immediately fails when he takes a step closer. Despite being in a big, empty classroom, it suddenly feels like a small cage. You instinctively take a step back)
Azzy, I... I didn't mean to, okay? You know how they are. They were picking on Elly and I—
They're a kid, Dess.
* (Having Asriel, the one person you considered a good listener, talk over you and cut you off every time you try to explain yourself feels so wrong)
* (He takes another step closer. You take another step back. You feel the wall looming closer behind you)
I-I know. I know. It's just that... well, Kris is...
Kris is what?
* (Good question. Kris is... what? They're no different from most kids. Just because they'd picked on Noelle doesn't mean you should make them bleed. You know that. He knows that)
I thought they were having a good time at your house, but when they came back home, they were... quiet. Which was strange. They're always talking about what they did and how much fun they had.
They avoided eye contact, they looked lost... kept touching their mouth.
* (You don't say anything. You just stare back at him as the façade of composure crumbles bit by bit)
* (He takes yet another step towards you. You try to back away again... and find the solid wall pressing against your back. Nowhere to run)
Why... are you getting so close t—
It didn't take me too long to find the reason. When I asked them something, they finally spoke... and I saw it. Blood. It looked like it had been wiped with something like... oh, I don't know... this.
* (He finally closes the distance and reaches for your arm. Your sleeve has some dried blood on it, not too noticeable against the red plaid pattern, but for someone who knew what he was looking for, it was more than evident)
* (You try to break free from his grip, but can't. You didn't even know he had this much strength. Your arm starts trembling slightly despite your best efforts to seem calm and collected. He finally lets go of you)
You know I don't approve of you hitting them with that stupid bat of yours in the first place. But this was too far, even for you.
You thought taking them to QC's and getting them a hot chocolate would buy their silence?
* (He scoffs. Having every single detail of what happened yesterday laid out in the open makes that repressed guilt come back with a vengeance. All the excuses, all the rationalizations, gone in an instant, leaving just the fact that you hit a little kid so hard you made them bleed)
Aren't you going to say anything?
* (You hesitate for a moment before forcing a smile, the same one you flash when you try to appear confident even when you're falling apart at the seams)
S-so what? They went and tattled to their big bro so that he could—
Tattled?
* (The word comes from his mouth as nothing more than a quiet murmur. Yet it's enough to make you quiet down instantly, more than yelling ever could)
I had to talk to them for an hour before they even gave me a hint as to what happened. And even then, they didn't talk about the details.
That's why I'm asking you, someone older, who should be more mature and responsible, to tell me what happened. But maybe I came to the wrong person.
* (The backhanded insult, the implication left hanging in the air, makes you want to glare at him. But what comes out is a look that mixes repressed guilt, self-hatred, and fear)
I... I already told you. They were picking on Elly and wouldn't stop even when I told them to cut it off, so I did what I always do. I chased them around for a bit and started hitting them. Softly, playfully at first...
Then I... I swung harder than I meant to. And hit them in their face instead of their head. Look, Azzy, I was having a very bad day already and—
So you take it out on Kris?!
* (There it is. The storm is finally here. He's raised his voice for the first time in forever. You practically jump out of your skin, suddenly feeling like there's not enough oxygen in the room. His breathing is heavier now, and your legs suddenly feel like jelly)
I don't give a sh-... a crap how much of a bad day you were having, December. I have bad days too, and you don't see me taking it out on Noelle, do you?
I had to lie to my mom. I had to tell her Kris tripped and that's why they had blood in their mouth. If I told her you were the one who did this to them, her heart would break in two.
* (He takes a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. You can feel yourself holding back the tears. You don't want to seem weak in front of him. Your eyes remain glued to the classroom floor)
So I guess I'm just the worst person—
Don't even start.
* (The words are delivered with such calm and clinical detachment that you have no option but to keep quiet. Even you know this was a pathetic attempt at victimization, one he could see right through)
* (He takes a step back and slowly turns to the door, his shoulders slumped as he sighs)
I barely recognize you anymore, Dess. The girl I used to know would have never done what you did yesterday, and much less tried to hide it afterwards.
Don't go near them again.
* (Something about him saying that last part just sets you off. You feel a mix of anguish and rage. You finally look up, eyes filled with tears, face contorted into a scowl)
What?! And since when do you get to decide that?!
I'm their brother. I'm supposed to protect them. Protect them from people who want to hurt them.
* (Filled with a cocktail of emotions too complicated to even begin to untangle, you push off the wall. He turns to face you again, and you jab your finger at his chest)
Oh, I want to hurt them, Asriel?! I'm just a bad influence after all, huh?!
* (You get up in his face, your voice filled with anger, tears streaming down your cheeks. You shove his shoulder, and he takes a step back, his eyes widening with shock)
Do you have any fucking idea of what I go through every day?! Of course you don't. You have friends. You have good grades. You're so popular. Everyone in town likes you! You don't even know what it's like to be me, Dreemurr.
* (You shove him again, harder this time)
Dess, stop—
And after yet another shitty day, while you were out hanging out with Bratty, or Catty, or the Angel knows who else, I come back home and your little shit of a sibling is picking on my sister. AGAIN.
* (After that last part, you can see his expression change almost immediately, from shock and surprise to a slight frown)
What did you just call them?
* (You ignore him completely. You reach out and grab him by the jacket)
Let go of me—
And now I have to get cornered by the golden boy trying to play hero? The knight in shining armor who swoops in to protect his insufferable sibling from the town's troublemaker—
I SAID LET GO!
* (That second jab at Kris seems to ignite the fuse on Asriel, and before you can even finish, he snaps back and shoves you backwards. Hard. Harder than you ever thought he could manage. You stumble and hit the wall with your back, falling to the floor)
* (Asriel stares at his hand in disbelief for a moment before shaking his head as if pushing the thought away, taking a step closer, looming over you)
You wash your mouth before you even think about talking about Kris like that! They're a good kid, and just because you're too messed up in the head to fix your life, you don't get to take it out on them! Not while I'm here.
* (You look up, trying to hold back the sobs. Your ears are ringing, the yelling, getting shoved against the wall, everything feels like a nightmare come true)
* (You've never seen Asriel this angry before, and knowing that you're the cause makes it even worse)
I don't want you near them. And if I ever find out you lay a finger on them again...
* (He doesn't finish the threat. He doesn't need to. He stays there in silence for a moment, his chest heaving, before slowly turning away. He looks down at his hand again, the same one he pushed you with)
Fuck...
* (He tenses up, covering his mouth with his fist, surprised at himself for swearing before dropping his arm to his side, trembling with anger)
FUCK!
* (He says it again, now in a yell, before slowly starting to walk towards the door, reaching for the handle. Feeling a surge of panic, you speak up)
W-wait! Does this mean... we're... over...?
* (You can barely talk, your voice choked up as you weave words between quiet sobs. He doesn't even answer. He just sighs before leaving and closing the door behind him. The sound of the latch locking in place feels louder than a slammed door ever could)
* (You hear his footsteps growing quieter until you're left in complete silence in the empty schoolhouse, the only sounds in the room being your pathetic sobs)
* (You remain on the ground, curled up into a ball, crying. Seconds turn to minutes, then to hours. The unused classroom gets darker and darker until night falls. You finally find the strength to get up and slowly walk out of the school)
* (You did it again, Dess)