u/TypicalPractice17

I work in a restaurant and I met this couple. I asked them, like I ask everyone, if it was a special occasion. They told me that the occasion was that they were on a date, and that they only get to go on a date about once a year since becoming parents.

The mum especially seemed so miserable about the fact she never gets to go on dates anymore. She told me about all the things she can’t do, about how every meal is usually all around talking about what the kid likes. I asked them how old their kid and and they told me he is ten years old. This has been their life for ten years. And it only one kid, never mind two or more.

I kept revisiting them because you know, work. Every time I caught a glimpse of their conversation, it was about the kid. Their one date in forever and they’re discussing the kid.

The lady wanted dessert. The guy straight up wouldn’t allow her to get anything because he wanted them to be on time to pick the kid up. She told me with such a sad expression that she wished she could have some.

This is mostly a vent but i’m curious if anyone has any ideas about this situation because it deeply confuses me?!

I (27F) am back with my parents (60M 60F) for a few weeks because my boyfriend and I are in between places. This situation is something I choose to forget about but right now it’s coming up because it’s in my face again. Obviously I’m a full adult now and don’t need parenting anymore but I’m weirded out and confused.

So for context - my dad is now retired but his career was in mental health in the national health service. He started as a therapist and worked his way up to managing all the national mental health services in the area. Basically, it’s his area of expertise.

He helps EVERYONE he comes across with their mental health issues. My brother, my brothers girlfriend, his sister, the neighbours kid, my brothers friends dad that he kind of knows… everyone, always. Of course, he doesn’t treat them personally but he meets with them, shows them support and helps them make a plan of what to do and then contacts the best therapists/treatment providers he knows and sets it all up. All of this is obviously fantastic and admirable.

Thing is, I have had mental disorders for life. Panic attacks, depression, meltdowns - literally anything you can think of. All through my education I had to have special measures put in place because I couldn’t cope. I begged and begged for help because it was all scary and I was confused. Dude didn’t want to know. He would just say ‘you’re fine’ or accuse me of ‘working myself up’ and if I had a meltdown he legit thought I was being manipulative. Crazy times.

I then became an adult and moved away. As an adult, I got diagnosed with ADHD and then Autism so that explained a lot, so i’ve been able to learn about myself and as an adult, I’ve leaned to deal with my own head and I’m okay. Validating to get to the bottom of it eventually.

Now it’s all coming up again. He went to meet up with my cousin because she’s suffering panic attacks and I then found him doing research on therapy pathways. The very next day I become overwhelmed and have a panic attack (I took myself away from the family to do so.) My boyfriend informed him of what was happening. Anyways, dad is literally ignoring me now. He doesn’t want anything to do with it. He’s actually very angry and accusing me of being difficult and dramatic. It’s always been like this. I do not get it.

I’m 27F, ADHD and just moved to a new city - and I really want to take this chance to make
some lasting friendships as this is the city I will
settle in.

I am BRILLIANT at making friends. I have job hopped a lot and made friends in every single job,
but those people never follow me to the next chapter. When people have a ton of collections of friends that they can maintain and keep up with consistently, it confuses tf out of me.
It feels impossible. And it stings to see seemingly everyone else having friends from
childhood/years back when I have no one.

But… friendships make me feel unsafe? They’re so scary to me because as soon as I care about someone, I give them the chance to hurt my feelings. I get embarrassed as soon as someone sees the unmasked side of me that I’m ashamed of. I can’t find time to meet up with people. I get bored of people and want some shiny new people. But worst of all is the RSD. I had a HUGE RSD meltdown this week and it made me reflect on all of the wonderful friendships I have chucked down the drain when experiencing RSD.

I want to make new friends, but after that I want to make sure I can keep them. I don’t want this city to be another graveyard of failed friendships.

Please help!

I’m 27F, and recently moved back in with my family whole in between rentals with my boyfriend and
FUCK am I triggered.

Obviously I am so grateful to 1. have parents in the first place and 2. have parents that are willing to have me staying here with my boyfriend as an adult. But instantly, I’m taken back to all those horrific undiagnosed years.

My parents never recognised or helped me seek treatment for my AuDHD symptoms when I was young, even though I was in a cycle of meltdowns forever. I ended up realising it and getting myself diagnosed as an adult, and then informed them. In my adult life, i’ve figured out what works for me and am doing well.

I have recently been upset by my brother 25M (he didn’t contact me for the first couple weeks I was back in my hometown and I felt very disappointed and rejected). He learned from others I was upset by this and has been trying to contact me. My parents have been hounding me to talk to him and sort it out. I haven’t yet, not out of stubbornness but because I’m extremely disregulated from moving away from my previous job, home and lifestyle and I knew an emotional conversation wasn’t going to be productive until I felt more calm.

I told him, his girlfriend and my parents that I would talk to him when I was ready. Every day I didn’t, they were getting more and more angry and I was getting more and more overwhelmed by them.

Yesterday, there was a family event. My mum sits me down and emotionally demands that I talk to my brother that morning, before the event. So I call him - I say that I’m going to get really overwhelmed by the conversation but could we be cool at the event and save the conversation until later. He says no - that he refuses to attend the event until we have the full conversation. I start panicking because my parents will get even more furious at me if he doesn’t go. By that point, my family are dressed and starting to get into the car to go to the event. I tell them that my brother demanded I talk to him now, but that I would need time to have the conversation over the phone and then compose myself afterwards so could I just follow behind them and make my own way to the event. My dad is furious and forces me into the car. Then of course, I have a full meltdown outside the event and because I can’t make my own way home by then, I check into a cheap hotel room for the duration as a safe place to calm down while they attended the event.

It’s so frustrating because if they would have listened and let me keep myself regulated, I would have saved myself the embrarrasment of losing it in public. Now, nobody is speaking to me and I’m full of shame.

OBVIOUSLY hair is just hair and a male child should have any hair style he wasn’t. However, kids all look like kids and haven’t grown into their features, so your long haired son just IS going to get mistaken for a girl. Hair is all prove have to go by.