How to reconnect with my 4yo daughter?
Since my son was born, I've dedicated almost all of my time to caring for him because he's medically complex and has significant disabilities. As a result, my husband has become our daughter's primary caregiver for the past 2 years.
My daughter is a very sensitive and strong-willed child. Lately, she rejects me constantly. She tells me, "Go away," "I don't want Mommy," "I want Daddy," and "No Mommy." I want to rebuild our relationship, but I don't know how when she doesn't even want to be around me. If I try to insist on playing with her, she'll usually have a meltdown, and I don't want to force interactions that make her feel worse. I'd love to spend more one-on-one time with her, but there are two big challenges:
- My husband isn't medically trained to care for my son for long periods, so it's difficult for me to consistently carve out dedicated time with my daughter. I'm worried that only seeing her one-on-one occasionally won't be enough to rebuild our bond. She has a very strong sense of order and routine: since Dad has been the one with her on so many activities, she'd prefer Dad continues to do so instead of a different person.
- She doesn't want me right now, so I don't even know how to gently reconnect. How do you rebuild trust and closeness with a child who keeps asking for the other parent?