u/UnderstandingClean33

I (6w perfect little boy,) love pooping in the middle of the night. I can go a whole day with only little poops, but I store them all for Mommy (older than my aunty but younger than my grandma) while she's taking care of me overnight. The thing is sometimes my tummy hurts so after I eat at 12:00, 3:30am, and 5:00 am mommy has to hold me upright so my tummy doesn't hurt as bad. She holds me for half an hour, while I'm milk drunk, and when that's over it's the perfect time to poop! I am still so sleepy but mommy wakes me up by changing my diaper and then I am wide awake! Then mommy sushes me and rocks me and sings the speckled frog song but she often doesn't count the frogs right. And she doesn't sing the song fun like Daddy, she sings it boring. And she won't look me in the eyes (I have the most precious eyes according to everyone I've ever met) and pretend yawns!!! How rude. I deserve to be entertained!

But today mommy was yawning a lot more than usual and all day. She said it's because I kept her up all night. AITA for making mommy tired?

Edit: I forgot to mention, sometimes after I wake up I'm hungry all over again, but really I just want mommy to cuddle me all over again.

Does anyone else get bothered that people ask to feed your baby?

It just feels like a weird boundary to cross just because I'm pumping instead of having him latch.

I guess I'm just upset because my SIL asked my MIL if she could feed the baby instead of me and my husband, and my MIL let her. So it kind of feels like extra weird.

Like if someone stuck their boob in my babies mouth without asking me everyone would be jumping down their throats about what a weirdo they are. But it's acceptable to feed my baby without talking to me first because he drinks out of a bottle?

Exclusively Pumping is the best and worst things of formula feeding and breastfeeding combined and I'm getting really tired of the people around me not recognizing that. At this point I know I have to start weaning my baby to formula because there is no way I'm going to keep up with this for six months with my relationship in tact.

If I hear my husband tell one more person that comes over that "yeah it's so nice that I'm able to feed him too! It's so nice that he also recognizes that I'm a source of food." Or a trusted guest being happy that they can feed him I'm going to lose my mind. And if my husband says "it's hard for me too," again I'm getting a divorce lawyer.

All you're doing is holding a bottle for him. I am feeding him. I have to plan my entire life around a 2.5 hour schedule . But my baby has reflux and is starving so every feeding session takes half an hour so that he doesn't chug his food down and then I have to hold him upright for half an hour at least to stop him from just throwing up everything even though he's on reflux medicine. (I have a baby bouncer on the way so that I can feed him while pumping.) So that leaves me with SOMETIMES an hour gap to pump and take a nap when I'm taking care of the baby by myself. Except that the baby is cluster feeding so I'm constantly having to pump while also trying to hold the baby up.

I have wearables that don't work as well as my spectra. I didn't do enough research and got m9s with my insurance. But even holding him with those is hard and he cries and gets fussy. I have been trying to find solutions and I'm just exhausted.

I constantly feel like I'm the only person who ever has to apologize. I've been through therapy and I actually have really good communication skills now, even if I still have difficulty with emotional regulation. I am so frustrated because my partner said something to me the other day and I responded "you hurt my feelings and you made me feel small and insecure." And instead of apologizing they doubled down (and I got feedback from an outside source that their comment really was objectively hurtful and unnecessary). I then asked them to leave me alone if they weren't going to apologize and they followed me from room to room to the point that I did scream leave me alone because they wouldn't let me leave the situation and kept talking at me despite me telling them that they were pushing me to the point I was shutting down.

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It ruined our entire day off and I told them I don't want to be in another relationship with someone that makes me feel insecure and that when they doubled down on why they were allowed to say what they said and brought up how they weren't abusive to me like other people have been in the past. Which is a huge trigger for me because literally two of my abusers used that rhetoric to get me to comply with them and isolate me. (My mom who would bring up times when my dad physically abused abused me to try to get me to stop communicating with him and only be on her side and my ex husband who brought up that he married me to get me out of my parents house and told me he would kill me if I talked to my family.)

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Then my partner finally apologized hours later but then within half an hour back tracked it and demanded that I apologize for saying I don't want to be in a relationship with them. (Which I didn't say. I said I loved them but I said that I can't be in a relationship with them if they don't apologize when I've told them they hurt my feelings and I don't want our son growing up to see their mom put down and belittled.)

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I constantly feel like I'm apologizing to people for over reacting and having feelings. But they never have to apologize for hurting my feelings even when they trigger my deepest insecurities. I never get a unilateral apology from anyone despite remaining calm when I initially tell them they've done x action to hurt my feelings in y way.

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It's just really hard because I feel like I'm crazy and I'm constantly apologizing for my feelings being hurt instead of anyone else taking accountability for their actions. It really hurts too because I am more vulnerable than I ever have been and I don't see a way out. I legitimately feel like my partner and I need space and I don't have anywhere to go for more than a few hours to be away from them and at home they follow me around and don't let me be alone to calm down or even have peace of mind to decide if I can actually leave or not or whether that really is an over reaction.

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And I'm still upset about what they said. But I'm more hurt that they wouldn't apologize when I did clearly communicate and then degraded me for having feelings.

I have fairly high insight, and I am capable of understanding when I'm starting to lose insight. My husband has been telling me I'm paranoid lately because I've had intrusive thoughts about bad things happening and because several times I've questioned whether technology is working correctly.

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It's absolutely frustrating because while the intrusive thoughts stop me from being able to do things like eat certain foods, I know they are not legitimate concerns and that I'm responding to an irrational fear.

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Also, I questioned whether technology was working correctly because I've been having communication issues with my workplace with managers not texting me back or e-mailing me back, HR not responding to e-mails I've sent them, and a coworker that is supposed to help me answering my calls, saying they can't hear me (witnessed by my husband and mother in law) and then auto-sending my calls to voice mail. (Also my mother in law quipped that the person was pretending not to hear me, I have experience with them avoiding my infrequent e-mails and calls in the past. I have e-mailed them three times over a year, and I've called them 4 times over a year and have used professional language in every single exchange.) I personally feel like taking a moment to ask whether my e-mail and cellphone were working correctly was actually the complete opposite of paranoia because in a situation where I am ostensibly being bullied I took a moment to reflect that maybe the people bullying me weren't doing it on purpose.

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I have never had a psychiatrist or therapist say I am being paranoid. It's just not a symptom that I experience to any meaningful level.

We got him some stairs to get on the bed since he's getting older. (I would strongly advise just getting them used to them as a puppy) and he is very skittish. He "hates" using the stairs, but they're much better for his hips. So we've been giving him lots of treats and praise every time he uses them. I was in the bathroom with the door open and this dude comes in and uses the stairs like a freaking champ, usually he does this thing where he acts like he's going to jump on the bed and we redirect him with a treat to sit and then orient himself to use the stairs correctly.

It looks like we're reducing how many treats he gets for the stairs now.

Literally all I have been asking is for my doctors to help me get UNPAID leave from work so I have more time to go to therapy and start working on healthy habits and skills, and to get my medication regiment back on track since I'm crying 30% of my waking hours including in front of people at work.

They are so fucking opposed to this, I don't know why. I even had a doctor that wouldn't sign the paperwork so I could go to appointments with them during work hours despite them only having appointments during my work hours.

I'm going through EMDR for the first time and it is so emotionally draining that I'm physically sick the next day and I still have to go to work.

I am on the verge of quitting my very well paying job that I used to love. My therapist is all for me taking a leave of absence since I have a safety net at home and I have clear attainable goals for the time I'm at home like learning how to meal plan efficiently so I spend less time struggling to eat healthy food, go to therapy twice a week, be completely adherent to my medicine for three months in a row and work on exposure therapy so I feel safe taking it instead of everyday forcing myself to take it and having a panic attack, develop a cleaning schedule that takes less than 45 minutes a day but allows me to maintain acceptable and safe cleanliness and work on my hygiene routine.

I'm on the verge of leaving my marriage that I want to keep because I keep getting triggered by inconsequential events that cause me to have flashbacks and cognitive distortions. Like I almost signed a deposit on an apartment because I misheard something my husband said, it caused me to think he was going to ruin my entire life, and then two days later after doing a ton of emotional damage I realized he didn't even say what I thought he said, but I heard it wrong because I wasn't focusing on what he said and it was close to something my ex-husband said. I will get worse if I don't fix these things and get help and they won't sign the stupid paperwork as if they would have to pay for me to take time off out of their own pocket.

Like are you going to help me get disability when I inevitably lose my job because I got WORSE? Like stop telling me I have insight to understand how sick I am if you're not going to help me take steps to preserve the insight I have and keep from being on disability.

My mom is severely mentally ill and my brother and I went through some fucking weird shit when we were kids. It led to me being completely unable to form healthy relationships with other people so I got stuck in a domestic abuse situation. From the ages of 5 to 27 I was being psychologically tormented by my mother, occasionally hit by my father, or I was living with an abusive ex husband. I had a brief respite from 27.5 to 28.5 where my mom was stable and I was fully divorced from my ex-husband. I was diagnosed with PTSD then my mom went into a psychotic episode again and the trauma started all over again. I finally broke and went completely no contact with her and her family (because she's mentally ill they don't consider her abusive, it's not considered abuse legally, because she's just sick). I have to change my number because I'm not able to keep my voicemail open for even a day she calls me so much (the various numbers she uses to contact me are blocked.) She sends me 5-10 letters in the mail every week. I got a card from my dad today and I flinched and called him crying to see if it was actually from him before opening it because she tries to evade me staying out of contact with her so hard. My dad still pays for her car insurance and my brother's car insurance and she went to them to get his address and when I called the police to report her for stalking they told me they wouldn't even take a statement.

Like what's the fucking diagnosis when the trauma just never stops. I had one year of my entire fucking life to start learning how to be a normal persona and now I'm developing completely new triggers and avoidance a because it just doesn't fucking stop. I'm not going to commit self harm but I feel like my life is just going to be this way until her or I die.

I just got diagnosed with moderate sleep apnea which the doctors explained was likely contributing to the severity of my daily symptoms.

Logically I know sleep apnea doesn't explain manic episodes but a little part of me is hoping that getting oxygen to my brain while I'm sleeping will "cure" me and I can become normal.